NightLily

I think your question is unbelievably cute. I think where you should go partially depends on where you live. I used to live in a very small town. When I was there, I would have enjoyed going swimming (major advantages for you), or going to the mall. If you were looking for a really casual date, you could go to a park or go on a long walk. Now, I have become more of what you would call a "city girl." If you can still clasify me as a girl ^_^. Anyways. Personally, I would like to go to an art museum or going to cute little stores or going out to eat at some obscure resturant. There are also a lot of different fun things you can do in cities that you can find out about through the newspaper or online. I'm sure you could find a lot of age friendly things (I'm assuming you are 15). Anyways, where ever you do decide to take the young lady, if you relax, I'm sure you'll both have fun.

I'm thinking the best way to find out the way she feels with out really "intentionally" finding out how she feels (the father situation), would be to flirt with her in a slightly more obvious way and see if she responds. For instance, you could compliment her looks in some way and see what she does.. or.. let's see. You COULD just striaght out tell her what you think about her. Not what you feel.. that might be crossing the line of what her parents want. But, you could tell her how great of a person you think she is and why in a more detailed way then one usually would. She will either be very flattered, which doesn't necesarily mean anything, or she could return the favor. If she did, you could find out what she thinks about you at least. She could even throw in how she feels about you. heh. Oh the joys of bending the "rules" ^_^. Hope that helps.

heh.. I am somewhat experianced with a situation like this. It is kind of a hard question.. to wonder if she is interested in you or not. Isn't it? Well, first off, asking her parents for permission was very wise of you. The last thing you want is for them to be against your relationship .. or you will have to wait it out for maybe a bit over two years. Also, from the sounds of it, she doesn't seem to know you very well (the whole giggly.. stuff). Hm, well, the smile may indicate that she finds you attractive, but that doesn't nesercarily mean she is interested in any sort of a serious relationship with you. It might be awkward if she can't really be herself around you. Its a tough situation you are in.. You could make a move and have her accept and yet, her parents may be against it. I would say if you are really interested in this, and believe that the age difference won't cause the relationship to be a dud.. try and find out how she feels. And if she seems interested in you, try to get to know her parents well and slowly move towards where you want to be with her. I can say this, the more the parents know and trust you, the better your relationship will be. Good luck.

Well, I have recently been put through a situation that sounds a lot like yours. I am hoping you are not the guy that put me through that because he seriously makes me feel unsafe. I'm also hoping your situation is not quite as severe. Anyways, I think the only way that I can possibly be of any help to you is by telling you how things turned out. He started to get very forceful in his need to talk to me--I will be moving accross the country come July. I kept making excuses to not talk to him and even had to tell him things like "No, I am not going in the obscure basement alone with you." Lol. So basically, if she does avoid you when you try to talk to her, don't be too forceful about it. I finally let him talk to me, but only over the internet (because like I said, he isn't safe). He seemed to have these strong feelings for me.. and yet we have never really talked before If this is the way things are with you two, I wouldn't be so.. pushy about how you feel. It ended in me getting even more creeped out and telling him that I never want to talk to him again. .. So.. I guess the moral of the story is that you should go with the flow and remember to not get your hopes up too much. The more you worry about it, the more it will show and maybe make her uncomfortable. Also, from the sounds of it, you don't really know how that well, so once you get to actually know her, you may not like her very much at all? Anyways, good luck.. and sorry if this post sounds a bit nippy I'm still paranoid he is you. (just kidding)

Well, I am a woman unlike many of the male posters. For me, I feel most comfortable if the guy begins out on some sort of a friendly level. I would say the way that you would keep yourself from becoming ONLY friends is by having some sort of light flirting going on. Nothing overly intrusive or too straight forward. Also, if you aren't interested in going that route, I would say one of the best ways to pick up a woman--the type that might be interested in having an actual relationship--would be to give her an honest, and sincere compliment. No cheesy pick up lines. If a guy told me that he admires my art that would be what I would call a "safe bet." Something else you could say that is FAIRLY safe is to say something aroung the lines of telling her that you noticed that she has the most beautiful eyes. I wouldn't compliment anything about her that has a sexual conontation. She might get shy and kind of.. well, distance herself from you. Unfortinately, its seems to me that sometimes there is just something.. "there." Something that can't really be controlled by either party. I'm sure you know what I am talking about. Well, "happy hunting" heh

Well, about all of this leg crossing stuff posted earlier, I'm not so sure about that. I mean, just because I have my legs crossed away from a man doesn't mean I don't like him. I would say a basic rule of thumb is if she is kind of "touchy, feely" with you (provied that she is not that way with everybody) she may be interested . Also, when I am interested in a guy, I smile more at him and give him more of my attention. I might try to play with his hair etc. But, I would say a pretty good indicator is in her eyes. If you get into a long gaze with her, you can ususally tell just by the way she is looking at you. If her eyes look empty and emotionless, then most likely, she doesn't like you. But well, that is just my opinon.

I completely understand what you mean. When I was your age I felt exactly the same way. I was practically being the part time mother of some of my younger siblings (and older and was forced to grow up far faster then I would have liked. I do, is some ways, regret that. But, looking back, I have done a lot of growing up in different ways that I different even understand I COULD do at that time. And yes, you can most likely feel the same basic emotions as adults, but put into an adult context and with added wisdom or experiance, things can change. No offense taken I hope.

I agree with Johnny. You may feel very adult now, and in some ways you may be.. BUT very, and when I say very, I mean VERY few 14 year olds are ready to have sex. And, if they ARE having sex at 14.. most likley they aren't. What I am pretty sure you will find is that a while from now you will look back on yourself as a 14 year old brtlangst, and you will see how much you have grown up and matured, and then, you will realize how at 14, you really aren't ready to be having sex. But then, perhaps the thought of somebody my little sister's age (she is 14 as well and is still very child like and in need of care although she is "mature") having sex gives me a biast veiw point. I guess if you heard about 11 year olds having sex on the news, you might also understand the feeling. Even though some of them may be considered mature by their peers, they don't really know what they want out of life.. and sex.. is a desion that will affect you for a life time. You can never take it back. Anyways, I'm sorry if this all comes accross as stereotypical to you brtlangst. Although, from my experiances and the experiances of others I know, after having been there and done that, it seems to be all too true. take care all

What I was telling you about was the information I have learned after studying this. If you choose to believe that I am wrong, that is your choice. Although, I don't think it would be extremely wise.. BUT that is only based on my opinion and my education. Also, if your health teacher really did tell you that it is "impossible" then I'm sorry, but he/she is wrong. Whenever there is contact it is possible. Not as likely as if he had ejaculated, but it IS possible. Possible enough that you should be aware of it. And to the comments about the Catholic church.. I don't see how this has anything to do with what I said. I do not base my information off of the church OR my views on sex. Although I would say that some of their view points make sense and can be useful,at times, to follow (just so that we don't turn this into a question turned into a discussion over religious beliefs). I also wasn't talking about AIDS. There are many different STDs and condoms provide very little protection over Human Papillloma Virus, better known as HPV, which is strongly associate with cervical cancer. Anyways, you probably don't need to freak out over what happened to you, but yes, it is possible. And if you "tried it once," you are sexually actice and could be checked for STDs or pregnancy. Better safe then sorry? I think so. I get the impression that you might be in.. middle school or maybe early high school? If you are worried about your parents finding out or something like that.. you can easily get your hands on things to detect birth, information on STD's.. and I'm not sure according to what state you are on, but you may be able to visit a doctor and get help like birth control pills or be tested for STD's without your parents knowing. But then, it really does depend where you are.

Well for one, when ever you have sex--with a condom or not--you can get an std. For one, condoms are pourous ..meaning they have little teeny holes. Now, seman 98 percent of the time can't get through if you use it perfectly ALL the time, but now imagine .. if you had a seman that was about 8 feet long, some stds are about the size of a dime portionally to that seman. So, they can get through MUCH easier. Also, there is still some contact. Your bodies are still rubbing together etc. So I guess what I am saying is yes, you could have gotten an STD.. but that is a risk you take when having sex. I assume you and your partner are checked about once a year if you are sexually active.. and if not. . you may want to be checked. On another note though, "sex half way".. it doesn't matter how far the penis is inserted. If you are having vaginal sex, you can get pregant. Keep in mind that some guys only have "2-3 inches" to work with . So, that really shouldn't make any difference what so ever. Also, you said something about how seman can't live outside of the body for long. Do you mean the male's body or both? Because according to what I know after studying this, seman can (and will) continue living in the female's body for about 7 days. Anyways, so I guess what I am saying is that yes, there is a chance, but there always is. I would say you should get checked regulary if you are sexually active and aren't already. And, the sooner you find out you have something, the better.. soo.. Not trying to freak you out or anything. heh. Just giving you the straight forward facts.

Oddly enough, I seem to be in nearly the same situation as you.. except I'm in the role of the ex girlfriend. So.. I may be able to give you some good perspective on this. For me, well.. I have learned this over the past month and a half (lol.. same time as you).. that trust is extremely important. I was never really able to trust my boyfriend.. and I always got the feeling something fishy was going on being my back. I am also pretty sure that if he were to ask me out right now.. I would almost be mad. So.. if you really want to get back together with her, I would take things slowly, work on rebuilding the trust that was lost, and make it clear to her.. in some way or another, that you are no longer interested in this "new girl". heh.. I am getting overly emotional over this. ^_^'. Good Luck getting her back.. and. please, for her, me, and the rest of the world, learn your lesson and don't cheat on girls anymore?

Well, I am sorry that your boyfirend is treating you like this--leaving you alone after giving birth, being immature, and acting very unloving and uncaring. I also feel bad that you got yourself in this position while not fully understanding the consequences of your actions.. or how suportive your ex would turn out to be. As for what I think you should DO about this situation, I think it would be best for your baby and you if you try to move on from your ex, like your mom told you, and basiclly keep doing what you are doing. You have gotten your mom strongly involved, you work hard to give your child the best life that he can have, and you are making many sacrifices for your son. These are all very good qualities for a child to have in a mom, especially when the mom is younger like yourself. Also, things I think you should keep in mind.. later on, when you have healed from all the pain your ex has caused you, you could very well meet a good, loving man that you could one day marry and could one day father your son. So, please, for your sake, don't give up all hope that your child won't live in a "broken family." And then, also remember, you are being a better mom then most young mothers, or young women who get pregnant. You didn't have an abortion. Which I have to respect you for, I am grateful for, and i'm sure your son will be as well. Good luck raising the beautiful child you brought into the world. -Suzy Q