silkysliplover

Yeah, it hurts, it hurts really bad, but I am realizing right now after a 2 month hiatus that my former girlfriend has moved on and is seeing other people. The bad thing about giving folks time is that sometimes sit back and analyze things and realize they weren't the ones. Of course, I've got that nervous, sinking feeling in my stomach, that is agonizing and I've had a few sleepless nights, but it's time to heal. Time is the enemy in more ways than one, time can kill. Our reasons for the split were just bad timing. She had just got out of a long term relationship, and used me as a rebound briefly until we fell in love with one another. She had alot of other personal changes, but then relaized when she was out of the situation that we weren't a good item at all. I am having a hard time believing this, but it was true. We were in different areas of our life. I, myself are seeking someone for possible relationship and to settle down and marry, and she wanted this and was actually obsessed with it, and felt she was required to be married by the age of 25, which she just turned. We were only together 5 months, it was a whirlwind experience, an experience I won't ever forget, but I have to move on. It's not going to work. I have to cloud my thoughts and mind with the feeling it's not going to work. I realize your relationship was alot longer than mine, but we have similar issues here. There will always be a place in my heart for her. We both exchanged rude and cold emails, done out of anger and spite, but even though that felt good at the time, it started to feel really bad after a few days. It started to feel unhealthy. I can't and won't hate her, I can't go from love to hate just like that. I wanna look back 6 months from now and smile a smile and look at this person not an enemy.

The good thing about my situation is she is 2 hours away, so unless i'm a freak and want to see her, which I don't, i would have to invest time and gas to go see her. I still have feelings for her and always will, but if people are going to play games and aren't ready and comfortable with themselves, then it's not going to work. You have to be on top here, you have to feel like your in control, your not control. Call her or email her and find out where you stand, that's what I did. Thr news wasn't good but at least I knew and the burden of worry was lifted from my shoulders.

I wasn't trying to say that your girl and my girl were the same, because I used to think your thoughts about mine, but she became transparent and started to show her true colors. I know mine will miss me, because I move on with the knowledge that I was the best for her. I sincerely hope yours comes back, I don't want mine back, she told me "the whole I need space thing" and "it's not you, it's me" thing and actually said she didn't want to date for 2 years!!!. Now, here she is meeting folks, I knew she wouldn't be lonely during the holidays. She just has that type of personality, of neediness, and very low self esteem. I am not here to say that I am perfect, because evereyone has faults, but she was truly a basketcase. You need to go with your instincts, if you think she is sleeping with someone or seeing someone, then it is probably true, this hurts, but it works. How is your girls esteem? Her self-image? Is it good? I could very easily call mine a slut, because I am that nice guy who tends to overlook faults of one. Am I a little angry? Yes, but mainly at my self for being a sucker. I love to date, but a ttimes like this, I wonder why, but I fell off the horse and now it's time to get up and get back on.

The "I need some space" and "don't wait for me" were used for me. Do not feel bad at all right now. I recently separated with my girfirend on Oct 22 and kept minimal friendly chatter off and on during the past months. I didn't do the "no contact" things because she left the door open for a rebirth. So, as Christmas approached, I did get a gift for her and drove 2 hours down there to see her and only was there for 4 hours. She gave me this lame excuse of needing to go to her mom's for leftover Xmas dinner. This was bullcrap. She didn't look me in the eye the whole time. You see, I am a nice guy, a sucker, who tries to see good in all people, but at this time, I was being played a fool. From Friday til last night, I was miserable knowing there was someone else in the picture and I got my wish, she emailed me and told me there was. It was the biggest relief, but she was a basketcase, she had major issues with esteem, I mean there was good romance and sex, but that's not all that's needed for a good relationship. Th email she sent me was quite hostile, so I recoursed and sent her an email that will probably cause her to cry and not want to come out of her house for a few days. I am tired of the bullcrap. The purpose of this email is for me to tell you, you need to move on and get closure, listen to your instincts, it hurts, and you are not going to want to believe them, but with friends and a support team like this website, it makes moving on alot easier. Go with your gut instincts, I have yet in my young 30 year life to see proven wrong. A close confidante told me yesterday that when I least expect I will see the woman of my dreams walk through the doors in my life. I fell in love with this freakster of a woman because I was looking for her and thought it was the right thing to do, she is only 25 and i was her 24th sex partner. Go figure

Kelly, is that your name? Yes, I mean I started when I was 11, and i remember my first feelings, I had orgasms without ejaculation. I remember I could have had sex with girls in grade school, but I didn't because I released that built-up and pent up tension through masturbation. I truly believe that if kids were taught it wasn't wrong, then there would be less pregnacnies and more of a greater understanding of one's sexuality. Kids today are being told my parents and peers that it;s bad or you have a disease and that is wrong, thereforeeee they go out and have sex, causing pregnancies, which causes a delay of college in most cases, which causes a potential decrease in self-esteem. So, in a nutshell, society wins here. 97% of men masturbate, the other 3% lie and say they don't. So, I am for masturbation in sex ed curriculums.

some of religious over-zealous freaks will tell us otherwise, but masturbation is not a crime. It is a normal release of tension that is very healthy. All children should be told masturbation is ok and then it would reduce teen pregnancies. I love to masturbate, masturbation has taught me to be a much better lover, to know what I want out of a relationship as the lightning bolts come crashing down. Masturbation is OK..It's that simple

We have been split up now going on 2 and a half months. We have kept up friendly contact through emails, although I have emailed more so and called more than she. I have narrowed my calls down to once per week. She inititated the breakup, stating she had personal growth to do before she could settle down with a guy. I went down to see here shortly before Thanksgiving to pick up some personal items and we went to lunch, it was a fairly short visit. She mentioned at lunch about coming down for Christmas, and I wanted to and about going ice skating. Christmas has now come and gone and I went down there, exchanged gifts. I got down there about 130, and left by 530. She stated she was to go to her mom's to eat leftover Christmas dinner. I said fine. I did not mention the previous plans because I did not want to start an argument. We played chess for a while and exchanged friendly chat. She stated she felt awkward at that time. I was gauging that response because she still probably has feelings for me. I keep replaying all these things over and over in my head and can't seem to put a handle on things. I would like to get closure in all this, I would like to know where we stand right now. How long does this personal growth take? What do I Do? I did email her stating that there could have been a miscommunication of emails in saying that I had a change of clothes with me and I was prepared to crash down at her place. I was not expecting to sleep with her, or anything like that. I would have slept spearately so I did not go down there with those expectations. She did not respond to this email, and does not seem to want to talk about emotional stuff, only friendly chatter like how to hang the print she bought me for Christmas. She's not confrontational about these issues, but I am and that's what I think makes it hard. Should I ask her point blank if a 3rd party has suddenly entered the picture? If I knew that, I would back away and move on gracefully.

Since I am a discjockey in radio, I saw making the CD alot different. Normally, if I am in a relationship, I like to try to do things that have not ever been done before. I want women that I date to never forget the things, I don't like to do things already done. I am a very creative person who loves to do those types of things. She was quite receptive to the CD, whether or not she listens to it over and over is not the point, a statement was made that I still love her.

We played a a friendly game of chess, I had shown her how to play over the summer. During the game, I asked some poinyant questions, like 1 month after the breakup, her and her mom had driven up to my town and I wondered why she didn't call me. She tells me (I believe her) that her mom had asked alot of questions of her about why we are not together. She wants to go through this indpeendent streak and her mother is not for it. Meeting her mom before, I could see she could be a loose cannon in this situation and still have something slip out. I gotta tell you, that was more pain knowing she was in the same town than the initial breakup. I am getting to the point now where I feel need to move on. I guess if I knew there was absolutely, positively NEVER NEVER a chance of us resuming our relationship then it would be alot easier to move on, the unknown is what kills us. I love her like I've never loved anyone else, but it's eating away at me.

There is contact here, we don't live in the same town, I live 2 hours away. I have limited my calling to once per week. Limited emails. I went down the day after Christmas to exchange presents, only there 4 hours, she said she felt awkward, but I'm not sure why, maybe because her feelings are still there? Do you think she could be seeing someone else? We are at a friendly level right now.

It's been 2 months since we put things on the back burner. How long should I wait? I am still very much in love with her...

Is 2 months long enough for someone to know if they would like to resume a relationship. She broke it off with me, but I am still in love with her. She is absolutely, positively the greatest love I've ever had. She says she needs this time for personal growth and maturity. The unknown is what is eating me alive. Is she seeing someone else? Does she want to get back with me? I went to see her for Christmas and exchanged gifts, and she said she felt really awkward. Awkward meaning what? Should I approach her via email with these questions? Weirdly, if I found out, she was seeing else, I would probably get over this situation much more easier., knowing the chances would be gone of us getting back together. I've made a statement that I'm going no where, I made her an audio Christmas card, plus gave her a nice peiece of jewelry. She was really short with me the other day. Why, Why, Why? Why?

Are these what you wear? If so, most guys do prefer these.

Let me explain how all this started. I am here to say that link removed is a site to use to meet quality people. You do, however need to go through the numbers. I met a beautiful woman who lives about 2 hours away from me. We met in May, spoke on the phone numerously for a few weeks prior to meeting. We decided to try this. We captivated each other like no other has. The relationship was so intense, probably due to the distance and the fact that we didn't see each but every other weekend. I was willing to accept this and we both agreed that we wanted it to work. We thought about each other so many minutes during the day. We both, have had many changes in our lives this year, and I think this was the downfall. She recently moved out of her parents house into her own place, ended another long term relationship, plus got a new job. All this shortly before meeting me. I, myself, had a gun pulled on me back in April and put a plan into motion to move and buy a new house on the other side of town. What does all this mean? Well, in October, 2 days before closing on my new townhouse, she dropped the bomb on me that she needed to make things casual because of the stress from work, her finances, etc. She needed to take a break. What is a break? How long is a break? Upon the initial hearing of this news, I was not non-reactive but it didn't really settle in to my brain until a few weeks later. I am 30, never been married, looking to settle down eventually and get married. She was definitely marriage material. I am having a difficult time dealing with this, and it seems to be getting worse before it all gets better. I have limited my emails to her, I have scaled back our phone conversations to once per week. She is wanting to prove to herself that she can handle herself emotionally without a man before settling down. This is understanding, I feel all women should go through this, I just came in at the wrong time. I went down there shortly before Thanksgiving to pick up some personal items. I took her to lunch and made the move to get together for some time during Christmas. Once again, I limited my calls prior to the holidays, even though it hurt so much. I made her a professionally produced CD that was comprised of songs of emotional importance, it also had a nearly 4 minute audio letter. Since i am a radio anouncer, I made it sound like I was doing a radio show dedicated to her. I also bought her some jewelry as well. She bought me a nice painting to put into my new townhouse. She describes as I was there the other day "tense". Yes, it was tense, based upon the fact, our relationship was so "intense" only a short time and now she has decided to put things on the back burner. I do want to wait for her, but I don't want to feel like this anymore. I am beginning to feel consumed with all these thoughts, I keep replaying everything over and over, and it's driving me nuts. I really have no reason to believe that I have been replaced. I believe I made a huge statement with the CD and the piece of jewelry but I still feel no better than I did prior to giving it to her. Is their a timetable for emotional growth? If she didn't think there was a chance, would she have gotten together with me for Christmas? I am a little tired of this emotional control, but I have a bad way of wearing my heart on my sleeve. How do I get this woman back? I love her very much.