Coily

Does your husband have any siblings? If not I half wonder if he took on a brotherly role towards her early on and led to the problems now. Clearly he has a long term attachment with this woman from the implications in the first post, though not healthy for the marriage. That said he seemingly has checked out of your marriage OP, what has changed between the two of you? I have to agree with others who wonder if his feeling of being needed is being played into by her. Some men need to be validated by being a confidant for others, that by no means absolves either of them from the damage done.

Short Answer: Yes she is stringing you along. Long Answer: Yes, and it's highly manipulative of her to ask you to wait for her to make up her mind. She doesn't seem to value your time with this wishy washy attitude. It's time to bid her farewell and move on, she wants to keep you as an option until someone better comes along. If someone gets that worked up about labeling things that might be a red flag for future reference.

If you care about your marriage then you need to push for keeping it whole. Running around with co-workers, especially if you have a crush on one, will further shred your marriage.

Best to put this pursuit on pause. Now if you two moved in the same circles or venues, then strike up a conversation; but don't ask for a date. In this day and age you could land in hot water doing too much info gathering.

I have to partially agree with Lolita, and I am vaccinated though not by choice. The problem I see is the lack of critique of these vaccines in the public square. It is very difficult to find good or any scientific research on the risks with each. I was limited to one type, due to heart risks for me; and that still landed me in hospital for overnight observation. Having had a bad case covid I will say my reaction to the vaccine was far more concerning, to myself and my physician. Yes I was an outlier, but those incidents need to be part of any discussion when making a health decision. Incidents which don't get acknowledged very clearly in comparison with other vaccines. Unfortunately these vaccines are being portrayed as a silver bullet to many, where like the flu vaccines they should be encouraged; but not career ending consequences. Yes there are some who are just contrarian, but there are enough who can't. This is a complex topic, which needs a free discussion.

Having been down this frustrating road myself, I wrote a letter to she who friend-zoned me and then promptly tore it up. A release so that I could move on. At the end of the day there is closeness and intimacy, and you tried to bridge that gap to no avail. Now is the time to move and grow beyond her.

Unless you are good friends with anyone in particular, I wouldn't sweat giving reciprocal gifts. Unless it's a super toxic work space, I doubt anyone will care. Just do what makes sense in the moment, it's not like you bought any of them a new car.

To also plant this seed, some men have really horrific dating experiences and will find it hard to read subtle clues. Some of us guys are kind of clueless with subtle hints or mere existence being the green light to engage with someone. Being told "No" is never fun for anyone, but it's the risk we take to weed out the dandelions from the roses. I think it's high time you ask him directly.

My only question is why would you ever want to go through that emotional roller coaster ever again? Being deceived that much, and having to the father figure during sex thing tossed in my face; while it's difficult to see while you're in the moment I would have a difficult time letting someone like that back into my life. I think you need to do some soul searching, a friend of mine lost his marriage after his wife started changing/growing. In the end they worked hard at making themselves incompatible, they both have taken years to move on but luckily did.

Good for you in taking the first steps to extract yourself from this fantasy. It's a difficult and messy journey, you will want to backslide quite a bit, but be strong and forge ahead. If anything hand write a note, and then tear it up and throw it in the trash whenever you start feeling for her again. The symbolic trashing of these notes will help you remember that she's gone and you are better off looking for a way ahead.

On the vaccination, brow beating him will only serve to drive a wedge. It's his body and decision, and his consequences. It really sounds like there are deeper relationship issues than what you are hyper focused on. The best thing you can do is encourage him to find his own path, but if you suspect his family are dominating him how is that different from you wanting him to move? Might be best to let an ex be an ex.

You need to take a massive step away from this guy! This guy is nothing but harm and trouble for you in the long run. Any interaction with him seems to drag you back to a place you don't want to be, after working hard on yourself do you really want to be remade for someone else? Hopefully when you cut him off, you take many steps for your protection and that of your child. His waiting by your car until 4AM and the invasive calls, he thinks he owns you from those actions.

Part of me is quoting Admiral Ackbar about "It's a Trap!" It sounds like she is a very private and cautious person, so this may be too soon for exchanging something that she may view as intimate. Even if it's a $8 candle that might be too much. That said if you already bought the candle, it could be given in a non-gifty way.

OP With that new bit of info, I would run to the nearest exit from the "FWB" situations. She clearly is only comfortable with using you for sex, plus who knows how many others she uses and is not telling you about. It's clear you want a relationship, where she just wants a stud for her use until someone better comes along. Aside from being grossly unfair and disrespectful of your time and efforts, is this something you do to another? Time to start pulling out this friendship.

Briefly on the picture, is there a date on when it was taken? Just wondering if he was using it by himself during the separation. The bigger picture is the ongoing problems with the marriage, if that's unaddressed any picture is moot.

As someone probably pretty close to this friend in temperment, minus the regular texting. It's not a lack of care/concern its a lot about being very involved with other things and thinking that others are too. A text or mail is low pressure, and doesn't demand that others spend time doing your thing. Another element is wanting to respect distance and not crowd someone. Throw in a dash of having organized things only to have many flake out at the last minute, it makes one leery of asking all friends to do things.

Yeah... don't send this. It's a nice sentiment, but it really not something to send to her. It could send her into a bit of a panic and destroy any friendship left. I would also suggest that if she's stated there is no possibility of a romantic relationship, that you begin to distance yourself from her. Gone are the days of persistence in pursuit being rewarded.

As to the house, it's a lot of additional work to keep and run one; but it's so very worth having a space to call your own. Though I would advise you get settled into your new career first, before looking at buying a home; I bought mine after 4 years of being established at my work. I will also say never have anxiety over being a virgin. It is rather a special thing, and for the right relationship they will respect that. I think pop culture has made too much of relationships being about sex, which skews things absurdly for those of us not in relationships. I also think you are being unrealistic about putting finding a relationship on hold for 3 years, if the right someone comes along jump at it. I say this as someone who put a relationship on hold to finish University, my reward was being invited to her wedding.

What is the nature of the abuse she's accused of? I would be very wary of getting involved with someone under investigation, could be nothing but false accusations. If she doesn't divulge this fact after a few dates then you also have to question her general honesty.

If this project is so f-ing time critical, then why are you bidding it? You stupid idiot!!! This stuff doesn't grow on trees, espcially with the shipping problems of 3rd & 4th quarter.

The end of November has been wild, and not in a good way. Lost two friends, a great aunt, and I decided to hangout with pneumonia for 3 weeks. Then there's the wedding I was supposed to be best man at in the middle of all that. Add in a flaky potential customer who I'm fed up with, I wouldn't mind catching a break.

Definitely block her. BUT you need to get out ahead of this with friends, family, and co-workers. You might be embarrassed telling people about her very aggressive sexual behavior; however she could become vindictive as a result of rejection and has the photographer as a witness.

My deepest condolences to you; he sounds like such an amazing guy!

You need to do everything, spend every last Pound, to fight to get maximum access to your kids. To heck with her, your kids deserve and active and involved father! If she is this vitriolic over the house etc, what will she do to drive a wedge between you and your kids? I know too many divorced fathers who thought they were doing the right thing by being doormats with the wishes, then regretted it when they drifted apart from their kids, due to the mother. Stay in the home, document everything you can about interactions, and be polite, while limiting contact in the home. Fight for your children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My aunts had a big falling out and didn't speak for nearly a year, because both were stubborn. I see elements of this in your story, I would encourage you to send a text or email on occasion to her; but don't waste your time over the details of her problems. Either time will heal the rift, and if not you have taken efforts to let bygones be bygones.