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jifeak

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  1. jifeak
    RayKay, annie24 and novaseeka, I agree, I am waiting too long to meet people. I'll work on that. Cheers to everyone else that have contributed to my question. All the best to you all. Hopefully some day soon, I'll come back with a more positive post
  2. jifeak
    Thanks Day_Walker. That will be right if there was a "process" going on. Patience is my middle name. I wait and wait and then nothing to show for it. I only wish I'd get more than one date per person that's all.
  3. jifeak
    I do really think that's your problem - you're meeting men that aren't that interested in you. Think about it - if they were really interested, they would have wanted to meet you in person over drinks or dinner, instead of waiting 6 months before another man could snap you up! You may well have a point there annie24. Makes a lot of sense really now I think about it. I guess I preferred to wait because, with online dating you never know who you're really talking to . They could be axe murderers or something. I wouldnt feel safe to meet someone after just a week of meeting online. For me it's essential that I establish some rapport before meeting up for a drink. Then my work comes and it's hard for me to put a date in the diary because of other committments. Thanks for re-reading my post to point this out
  4. jifeak
    That really made me laugh! Put me in a good mood I think I'll take a tip from Miranda and actually pretend that those guys died. To answer your questions, I'm full figured (UK size 16) , do not have gray hairs, buck teeth and never talk about my ex ( I dont even remember that much about him anyway to talk about) and I have no pets. But like Miranda, as u pointed out, I work very hard and am proud of my achievements in what I do. I work as an IT professional, manage two bands, have an album out on my own label due out next month and gig regularly round the country. Maybe I go on about that too much. Does that mean I have to make myself less significant to attract a man? Please reply. Cheers
  5. jifeak
    Thanks for trying to help me. I really do hope I'm not scaring men off but it will appear that way from my account. Like I said close friends are bewildered that I dont have someone, ok, I'm not a size six but I take proper care of myself, dont us drugs or anything, I have a good sense of humour and work hard to pay my bills, am friendly and have a life-of-the-party personality. I'll ask a few friends again and see what they say. Once again cheers
  6. jifeak
    People tell me I'm attractive, intelligent and fun to be with but over the last year i've had no success finding a partner. I get in the dilemma of me not liking the people who like me, or the people I like not liking me. So I go on these dates (when they bother to show up), have a great time and that's it. It's either they dont call again or I don't call them. I divorced a year ago and I was thinking maybe I wasnt ready but I'm sure am now ready to love and be loved again so what's the problem?? I don't just meet any new guy after a few online chats. I take a few months to find out more about them before making the decision to meet. There have been a couple of men that I've been chatting with for about 6 months. We meet up and then nothing happens after. I hate to chase 'cos it's bad for my self-esteem but it's now beginning to worry me that I might not find someone but I dont want to give out the vibe of being desperate. Throwing myself into my work and hobbies will not leave me enough time to date as I've found out recently. Anyway, I've had my moan!
  7. jifeak
    DN, thanks for your insight but the person seeking assistance here is Double J so please do not make it about me. I am not seeking marital advice. I only said what I felt and you have done the same. You are blessed to have a great marriage and wonderful daughters. Not all of us are so lucky which is part of the reason why we log on to this forum swapping views. No one has all the answers. It's up to Double J to decide whether he still wants to hang with someone whom he believes takes advantage of him or to attempt to fix it with less damage. Once again thanks
  8. jifeak
    Double J, that's ok. You have a right to choose whomsoever's advice takes your fancy. I just told it as it is. I do not mean to say your girlfriend can't offer to pay once in a while but it has to come from her, she has to initiate it. When it becomes a rule... If you cant afford to take her out, don't go out on a date and then ask her to pay. You will not find the results funny, trust me on that. When next she asks for you to go out, tell her you're broke beforehand or refuse totally to go out and explain why in a loving way. After a couple of times of saying no, she will more likely offer to sponsor it herself. Like I said earlier, there are lots of interesting things you can do together that dont cost tonnes of money. Which is why I said you need to be creative. You see, deep down, most men feel inadequate when they can't step up. They like it at first when a woman picks up the check. Its nice. After a while, when it becomes a pattern, it's not so nice for either party. I have first hand experience because I supported a man for three years in a marriage, during which he was not employed and he ended up being resentful of me and taking out his frustrations on me to extent of physical abuse. And I felt like I was being taken advantage of and gradually my respect for him diminished. The marriage eventually broke up. I'll say no more. Best of luck
  9. jifeak
    Ok, so she doesn't ask you for money. She knows you can't afford expensive nights out but she wants to be with you anyway. From your account, she's not dumping you for a richer bloke. What's the issue here? I think you may have a little case of insecurity lurking around there. Or could it be that you're expecting her to shell out for you because she has a job and you don't? Forget the 21st century issue of equality, my friend. Women basically still want a man to take care of them whatever their earning power that doesnt mean the man has to go overboard. But just little thinks like buying her a drink once in a while or going for a picnic in a park and doing nice things for her that dont involve spending money that you don't have, will do a lot to help her appreciate you and you will feel good about yourself in return. I just think she wants you to show some initiative when it comes to both of you going out which is why I think she's always asking "what are we doing today". A woman likes a man with a plan. Plain and simple. So get creative and surprise her someday before she actually dumps you for someone who will. Hope that helps.
  10. jifeak
    Thank u both 4 ur input. I've had a think myself and have come to the conclusion that there's no point in giving useless information that does nothing but complicate things. I'll apologize for being rude and leave it at that. thanks again
  11. jifeak
    .. sex is just as important as you make it out to be. Your partner maybe easily excited by you and possibly needs help delaying ejaculations. I'm no sex therapist but he does need help in that department. If you love him enough to stick with him and help, then do so before it drives you apart. You need to speak to him about it and in the meantime focus on the other good things about him and compliment him from time to time about the good things. Yes sex is important, but it's not everything in a relationship, believe me, I know. You can be happy with the guy with a little love and patience.
  12. jifeak
    I have been separated from my soon 2 b x husband for a year and have not had a serious person in my life. I 've just started dating for real and am seeing someone nice. (only been on a second date). My problem is that I've secretly adored my physical training instructor (who's got a girlfriend and two kids) for sometime. He's a great guy, looks good and we've got on very well. But I've always thought this was infatuation and that once I've started dating someone. Unfortunately, I find that it's not getting any better with time and I'm fancying him more. I made a decision to stop attending his classes and informed him. He asked why and since I didn't have any cogent reason, I told him I didn't like his way of teaching and that I'm having to many issues in my life now to continue with the programme. I was even a bit rude in the process. He seemed very bewildered and hurt. He doesn't know I like him to bits and wished we could be more. I think I should apologize for my behaviour but should I tell him about the fact it's too painful to be near someone I cant have so regularly? I feel I want to have a relationship but attending his classes will distract me from putting all in any new guy I may decide to go with. I want to know, should I just tell him the truth or keep mum?
  13. jifeak
    The advice is spot on and I'm beginning to feel a little better already. I did sign the card and wished them both good luck, went to the gym this evening and worked off my anger and it seemed to have worked. Great stuff!!
  14. jifeak
    I'm separated and going through a divorce. This has been going on for over a year now. No one at work knows as I can't handle all the attention from co-workers asking what's happened and also the seperation was a trial and we were supposed to get back together. It's not happening. During this period I've really kept to myself and not gotten involved with anyone. Now the divorce is definite, I've woken up emotionally and started to have deep feelings for a guy at work. I've never told him about it 'cos he's got a girlfriend but we've kinda looked at each other funny at odd times. I sent an anonymous secret admirer card and somehow he sensed it was me. But when he asked me about it, I was too embarrassed to admit it. He smiled. A week later, there was a card passing around the office for everyone to sign and it's for his engagement to his girlfriend. I feel stupid and very foolish for my behaviour and I want to know how I can get over this feeling can anyone help please?
  15. jifeak
    I'd like to have more insight. Please answer these questions. What would you want to happen? What do you want to do next? What is your situation with him now? Are you still talking to him?
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