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he hit me again last night, just because I had a talk with my friend till 1pm. We totally broke up. I am moving out asap because I am not feeling safe of being close to this person. Can't believe this kind of things happen to my life. I am in this foreign country all by myself........feel so helpless.... why a man is doing this to a woman???

Well this is exactly the reason I make this post. He cares about me in terms of my daily life. He is always there when I need a hug. Well he is also very much loyal to me. Having seen a lot of sad stories here, it seems loyalty is a very important issue in a relationship. I just don't know what to decide. Well I don't want to step into a new relationship as quickly as before. I really don't have confidence on a relationship anymore. I had a lot of chances to have sex with other guys. As I am an attractive and intelligent girl, it's always easy to get a bf. Sometimes I really want to just "do it" with anyone of them because my body needs it. But then I think I need to respect myself by avoiding these behaviour. There are at least 2-3 guys chasing me now and I know objectively they are superior than him, at least intellectually. But I still didn't leave him or accept anybody, simply because I just can't see his helpless eyes. He always said: you are my everything. And to be honest we had a lot of memories, which is difficult to let go. The first time he hit me is because I went to have dinner with two of my male colleagues w/o telling him. I went there at 8:30pm and got back at 10:00pm. That day he was sick. He called me hundreds of times and when I got back home, he threw the things, tore his clothes and hit me, because he said I cheated on him. Well I just love him too much at that time and I kept on apologizing. Now I looked back I think I am very stupid of doing that. I forgave him but later he did it again. I don't know what's wrong with this man. But I really love him, at least before. Or is there anything wrong with myself? I am the kind of girl who is always surrounded by guys. He said it is because I am an easy person so he needs to control me. Well I just like communicating with people and I always smile to them. And I have no idea why I just can't make girlfriends even though I've been trying hard. I've been thinking, even I leave this guy and get into another relationship, the same story might happen again. The other guy might not hit me, but he will try to control me and we'll end up with unhappiness. I am just full of confusions. I think this is just a matter of luck. I hope I can be a lucky one. Is it true that if a person is hairy then this person is more sexual?

I can't remember when is the last time I had sex with him. It was so long ago and it finished very quickly as usual. To be honest I don't have any implus to have sex with him anymore. I don't know whether this is the sign that I don't love him anymore. You are right. A lot of my friends just to clubbing every weekend and get girls there. It seems sex and love can be separated. I am confused. Can people separate sex and love? If not affending, do you mind telling me what will you do when you are horny and you are not in a relationship?Anyway, I didn't do that. If I break up with him, I will watch out my steps and find a good one for myself in the future. I don't know whether I have cheated on him or not. I went out with some other guy friends of mine during weekend. We dance, talk, had dinner, watch movie..and that's it. I know they like me or maybe love me but I still let them know I didn't break up with my bf. Well if he knows I go out with other guys at night, he will beat me again I am sure. Well I found that everybody posting here seem to be nice, caring, and sweet . However, why I just can't meet these kind of people in my real life?

Dear rbelle, How have you been my sweet friend? How are you feeling these days and I wish everything of you is alright. As I told you before I don't think I am attached to him anymore. Well this is true and I'm enjoying my life with other friends. There are heaps of good single guys for me and for sure he is out of my list, lol~~~~ He already finished his credits in my love bank, and now I feel so released. I wish you could stand up and be a strong girl as soon as possible.

Well I mentioned I am a sexual person is because I think sex is very important and I always have strong desire to have sex. But it doesn't mean that I would have orgasm qucikly and easily. My partner need to do a lot of efforts to bring me to the peak, but even without orgasm I also enjoy the whole procedure very much. Well, this is also the question I want to ask. How long is it normal for a man? As to my bf, well, usually less than 5 minutes. Sometimes only 2 minutes. If that is my lucky day it will be around 10 mints. Is this a kind of abnormal? My ex-bf did great performance every time, only in terms of the time, it is between 30mints to 2hrs(not including foreplay). Is it abnormal as well?

Well I experienced the same thing as you. I moved to this country about 2 years ago. Language is not a big problem to me but the difficult thing is the mantality. I had a lot of friends at first but later on I found they approached me with purposes and almost none of them are my real friends. I cut off the connections with most of these friends gradually. Then one day I realized that I almost don't have any friends left! Same as you I was a very socialized person before but now I realized that I am a changed person. Compare with hanging out in the clubs I prefer to stay alone at home, reading, watching movies or contact my old friends. Sometimes I feel I lose the ability of socializing in a community somehow.

Dear rebelle, I am really sorry to know that you are not alright. To be honest I wish I could be there for you when you cried. I would give you my shoulder because I know how helpless a girl can feel in such situation. Well just to share my feeling with you,the reason why I feel I am almost alright is because I just don't want to put myself into trouble anymore. Life is already full of problems and why should I make it more difficult for myself? I haven't seen him for more than a week now. Among this week I go out with my friends, meet new people, read and write, and focus on my studies, although it is very boring, lol~~~Well I forget to tell you that I am now working on my second master degree, that's why I got a lot of time to think these much. When I feel I miss him I just tell him that I miss him by message. Yesterday we are suppose to meet but he just kept me waiting for a whole night. At last he sent me msg and told me he is ready at 11pm. G! it is too last to meet a lady friend so I just simply scolded him and told him this is not the right way to treat me as a friend. I don't care what would he be thinking after he saw this kind of msg from me, I just want to be honest to myself and let him know how's things going on from my side. I'm also going to gym next week. I need to make myself more prefect , and let him regret that he missed such a nice girl like me. My brother is going to be a father soon. I can feel his endless love to his unborn child. Every family members, including me, are excited about the baby. We've been thinking about the name, the future...etc. All of a sudden I realized he experienced the same thing as my brother. So many memories, stories, happy and sad tears...Maybe he loves me, but he loves his children better for sure. Well since my feeling to him is born from nature, I have nothing to blame myself about. All I need to do is to focus on my own business, and be more comfortable with myself. I may sound strong to you, because I've been in relationships before. I've experienced a lot of things, been cheated, been mis-treated, been used...long distance relationsips...etc. When I was really down I even thought about suicide. So do you still think I am strong now? But finally I get through all of these. Still there is a long way for me to go but no matter what happened I just understand I have to love and respect myself better, after that I can know what I really want and will get what I deserve. Don't mention it. It's nice to know you rbelle. I can see that you are a sensitive and kindhearted girl. The similiar stories bring us close to each other. Be a strong girl and I wish you the best from the bottom of my heart!

You are such a considerate man and I believe you deserve a very good relationship

Well actually I enjoy oral very much. But actually I am the one who is always doing oral for him, and it seems he is not that much willing to do it for me. It is very difficult for me to have organsm. When he touch me or do some oral, and found that it's been a while and still I didn't cum, he just gave up. As a result I never expect he can or he will make me have organsm. I'm very depressed about this, especially I know what is good sex and how amazing it is. (I am very much satisfied with my ex-bf in sex) There are so many chances for me to have sex with some other people becaues I am a sexy and good looking girl but I just didn't. I hold myself for him but don't know whether it is worthy.

Yes you are right.Actually I have heaps of problem with this man, but still I didn't leave him maybe because he is the first man that I live with in my life, and I think I do love him, or at least already get used to have him as a company. Well I've been thinking so many times to break up with him because of this problem, but I didn't cos I don't want to be regarded as a woman only want sex by him. Yes we should talk and actually we already did. However, his explanation is always the same: I'm tired today; we didn't have sex for a long time that's why; you are too tight so I can't stand it....ect ect. I can't tell him to go for the professional help because it might definitely hurt him.( this man is very dominant and sensitive) So what is the true nature of a relationship? Having each other as a company? a goodfriend and a partner for life? And sex is not that important compare to all of these?

He used to use a kind of spray, which seems doesn't work at all. And he doesn't like to use condum. It's been half a year and now it turns out that we seldom have sex. Maybe only once per week or two weeks. Every time he explained to me is that we haven't have sex for a long period, so he is easily to be excited. But even when we were together for the first month he was like this already. Does he got a problem, or it is just a matter of time? I mean when he is in his thirties he will perform better? Love is very important, however, good sex can make the love stronger. Can you imagin how terrible it was when sometimes I masturbate in front of him, because he cum so quickly and I just started to be in the mood!

I am not ashamed to admit that I love sex very much. More acurately I love "Making Love" very much. And I think I am a girl with strong sexual desire. I've been with my current for half a year. However it seems he never satisfy me in our sex life. The biggest problem is he cum so quickly and at first I even thought he was joking that he already cum! I think this has nth to do with the experience or age because he is already in his late twenties and he has been in many relationships before. To be honest I am very disappointed because I really enjoy sex! Well I had a lot of problems with this man but sex is one of the most important reasons. It's been really hard for me to hold myself like this, and for the most of the time I have no choice but masturbate. However in terms of daily life he is very very very much loyal to me. He looks nice, do the houseworks, sweet to me for the most of the times, buying me gifts.... I am very confused. How important does sex do to consider a relationship? Are there any ways to improve his performance? Will us be happy if I continue this relationship?

Good luck !!

Well, I understand your feeling my sweet friend. I remembered when I was first time in love, I was so helpless and every time I talk to him over the phone I cried. It will be of great help if you have some good friends, whom you can talk to. At least this may make you feel better, not that helpless, lonely and sad. If you think it is embarrassing to talk to a friend that might release your secret, then just call your best friend in your hometown. Well, maybe I am a brave person and I've been through a lot of things. If I were you I will meet him. But I can't make decision for you. Well you've been avoiding him for one month, and this didn't make you feel any better. You still talk to him over the phone, and he is still around you. Then why don't you be a brave girl, face the reality, face your love to him, and face him? It is much better than staying at home and cry yourself out. But before you go you should make up your mind what do you want from him? As what I mentioned before, if what you want is his love and care, you already got it. Just go and enjoy it happily. There is nothing should be blamed about. You can talk, share your feelings, be true love and true friends of each other, but not giving each other burden or problem. Both of you could work out an agreement to guide your behavior, which make 2 of you comfortable with. However, if you really want to marry him, ask him again about the possibilities. And ask him what's in his mind. It is unfair that you are the only one who is suffering this much my poor girl. And try to understand this person more. I am a bit worried that maybe he is trying to be selfish.