Bamber432

I do those things....I just made him dinner last Wednesday....I do go over to his house....when I can. He's always too busy for me and it does bother me. I feel like our relationship is just based on his life--when it's convenient for him. I kinda think that it is time for me to worry about myself....cuz I'm constantly worrying about us. I think I need to become a more independent person...I just don't know how to become one. I think I depend on him too much for my happiness and I hate that fact. I want to figure out what made me happy before him. I don't know if I should take a break from things to get my head back in order...or if I can do that while still dating him. I really don't think that I want to end things though....I just want things to be better. I do think that you are right Heretic...I do need to start doing things more for myself...because I am constantly doing things to make him happy...I think that if I continue to be so generous towards him.....that he in return would want to spend more time with me...and I guess it's not really working. Well I dont' know...I think I just need time to figure everything out.... thanks so much for the advice....it is much needed!!

I'm so sorry to hear about the situation you are in right now....it must be so hard to be just friends with someone you care so much about. As much as it may hurt....you do need to spend time away from her....get your life back on track....you said it's slowly killing you by being friends with her. Talk to her about your feelings exactly like you told us all here. If she doesn't realize that your friendship is causing you so much pain and that she needs to stay away for awhile as you figure out exactly what you want. You sound like a great guy that has a lot to offer someone. You need to get out there and try and meet someone new....I think if you find someone else to admire and who will admire you back....maybe then you will be able to be friends with her again. But right now....you just can't be....this is going to eat at you day after day and you never really know what could happen.....you may even find yourself resenting her because she does not have the same feelings that you do. Just take a break to figure out exactly what you want and need. It may hurt worse being away from her....but remember you health and feelings are what matter most. This is just my opinion....you need to do what you think is best for you. I hope this helps a little...and I hope that things start to look up for you real soon!!! Later.

Alright...my boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year and a half. We broke up this past summer for about a month and then got back together. Well ever since we broke up things are just different and I miss the "good ole days" ---he used to do all these romantic things and it just seemed like he couldn't get enough of me. Now it seems like he doesn't care as much as he did before. He's in school again and doesn't have a lot of free time and it really bothers me because we barely see each other. What bothers me even more is when we do have the free time, he's tired and doesn't want to do anything. I mean I could just go for a night at home watching tv as long as we are doing it together. But it just doesn't seem like he wants to spend all this time together like he used to. It really bothers me because I don't feel like I'm a priority in his life anymore. He says that I am...but his school work and his career are a bigger priority and I could be selfish here...but that hurts so much. I'm in school too and even though I am very passionate about my field of study...he's still my number one priority....lately I have been thinking about taking a break....but then I remember how this summer was not being with him and it breaks my heart but then again I haven't been the happiest being back together.....I find myself crying a lot of nights. I feel ridiculous sometimes...but I can't help it....when it comes to him I care so much and when I don't feel like he cares as much as I do....it breaks my heart so much. I want him to appreciate me more and do more of the little things like he used to. I really do not know what to do...and I don't know if I'm being ridiculous with the whole school/career thing and that being his first priority. I really don't know what to do....someone please give me advice....please!!! Thanks for listening!

First off you don't exactly know if your ex "wants nothing to do with you" because he may have been away from his computer or someone else was on his screen name...I would try calling him on the phone or something before you make assumptions like that. With your current boyfriend I would tell him exactly how you feel- that you feel like you are being smothered and that he can't keep it up like this because if he does then that will definitely be the end of you two. But if you don't think that you love him anymore, it might be easier for you to just end things now before he begins to love you even more. And for the ex boyfriend I would wait until things with you and your current boyfriend settle out because it's hard to jump from one relationship to the next. Just give it some time and things will start to work themselves out. Figure out exactly what you want before you act on any impulses.

Alright..so my boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago, but we were still hanging out and still sort of acting like we were still together. We still hugged, kissed, fooled around, etc... Well he kept saying that he needed space and is confused about everything. He tells me it's hard for him to be away from me, but he needs his space. So since I keep getting hurt every time we do something together (because he still doesn't want to date me again) I finally told him that I couldn't do it anymore and that I was going to give him his space. No more alone time together...no more phone calls...no more me and him. Emotionally I can't take it anymore...I felt like I was being strung along. When I told him all of this, he felt horrible. He even looked like he was ready to cry because he felt so awful for making me feel like this. I know that he still cares for me and that he still loves me and he wasn't intentionally trying to hurt me. But since he's confused I thought that it would be best for him to have his time apart from me to really understand what he wants. I just think this is going to be extremely hard because every second of every day I think of him and want to call him or be near him. I just need some advice on what to do so that I don't call him and to know that I did do the right thing by giving him his space. Because I have no clue if I can actually go through with this.

Definitely should be done in person. You can express your feelings not only in words but body langauge too. bring her flowers or something original. All the advice I really have for you is to just do it in person. Well the best of luck to you!! I hope you get the girl!!

I understand that I shouldn't see him...but I have a huge problem with that. A bunch of us have stayed friends since high school and we are all always together....and well me and him are in that circle of friends so it's hard not to see each other. I mean I don't want him to be kicked out of the group and I sure don't want to either. I've tried to spend time away from everyone....but I just think about everything...and then when I try to be with people..he's usually there so I still think about him....I just don't know what to do because I have to see him.

Okay so a little more than a week ago my bf broke up with me. I was very upset for the longest time, I'm doing okay now...but I think the only reason that I am doing okay is because I have a huge feeling that we are going to get back together. I went over to his house yesterday just to talk adn to tell him that I was sorry about how I reacted toward the break-up (I was very emotional...crying hysterically..couldn't stop) and to also tell him that I understand why he broke up with me and that I know that things will be fine. Well he kept telling me how much he missed me and how hard this is...he asked if he could kiss me and I said I didn't think so because if he didn't want to get back together then that would just hurt me. Well as we were laying there talking....well things happened. After we were done...we just looked at each other like "what just happened" he said that he doesn't hope that I think that we are back together...I know that we aren't and that he needs time. Well then later that night we both ended up at the same friends house...well we ended up kissing that night too adn we also held hands for awhile. I know that he still needs time to think about things and I know we shouldn't be doing this kind of stuff...but the thing is though..is that I really want to do stuff like this because it makes me feel like we are still a couple. He's visiting family this entire weekend and I don't think he will be back until Tuesday so that could be a good thing because we definitely won't be able to see each other....but he said taht he was going to call me everyday. I just don't know what to think....we are both very confused.....(well I'm confused because I don't know what he wants and he's confused because he doesn't know what he wants....) I just need some advice on what I should do!!! Please help!!

I just want to let everyone here know that this site has helped me out tremendously!! I don't think that I would be dealing with this whole situation like I am now, if it wasn't for all of your help. It helps so much to knwo that there are others out there just like me going through the same situation. It also helps when I read others and give advice....I don't know if it's great advise or not...but all I know is that it helps out so much. I'm so glad I found this website. Thanks to all of you!!

Wow!! This is exactly why my boyfriend broke up with me. I snapped too many times. I felt like he didn't love me and I would snap at him because of it. In all reality he did love me very much, but I was pushing him away with all my bitterness. In a way I'm glad that he broke up with me because it made me realize how I need to act in certain situations and not get mad at little things. If I ever want to get him back, I need to show him that I've changed...just like you need to. I'm going over to his house tomorrow to talk to him....(the last time we talked it wasn't so great because I was very emotional and hurt...I gave him back everything he's given to me...including a necklace that meant the world to me) well I am going to get the necklace back and just to have a calm conversation about things...because we have yet to have one of those since the breakup...I always ended up hysterical and it never would turn out good. So wish me luck tomorrow!! I don't know if I really need it, because I feel good about going over there...I think it really is going to help things!! It's awesome just to know that there are other people out there that are going through the same situation as I am!! Thanks for all the support!!

Thank you so much...I need as much support as anyone else that posts here. It's true that you don't realize the wrong in your life until it's too late. I'm trying to get my boyfriend back for some things I didn't think badly of until I lost him. So I am in the process of correcting my mistakes too. So if you ever need help or just to talk....you know where to find me!! Thanks for the support!

Pi_anochick...very well put.

It's very sweet that you want them to date...but honey..who are we kidding? That's really not what you want....it would kill me to see my ex boyfriend (who i'm still in love with) date one of my best friends. It would be too hard for you to sit back and watch them date. It would ruin your friendship with your best friend. Not that you're a bad person...it would be just too hard for you to be friends. I know it would be for me. Also know that things will get better for you. High school is just another chapter of your life filled with a lot more guys. So have fun while you're young and do things that will make you happy!! Good luck with everything!

Not a problem, Gaz....I think you give everyone else hope that they can change the wrongs in their life. Things will soon go way uphill for you and it will be because of things that you did...no one else...all we can do is support you and help you along the way!! Good luck with everything...I hope you get what you want in the end!

CrazyinTemptation~ just please think about all the consequences before you do something. It's not going to be the easiest relationship to be in. I feel like this is only going to hurt you in the end. Just be careful. I don't want to hear that you ended up in a horrible nightmare that you can't get out of!! Good luck though!