JadedStar

1. What is the most difficult problem you and you partner face in your relationship? Dealing with different personalities. We are very different in our personality, the things that were different were the initial attractor. However, after awhile it caused conflict. It took us a good while and a break up early on to learn how to compromise. The art of compromise is the best thing you can master in a relationship. If you are female, don't get upset over your b/f forgetting little things and assuming that his plans should match your own. Remember guys are wired different than the girls when it comes to sex. Try to lessen the drama as men don't normally like dramatics. If you are a guy, try to remember that women like to feel very cherised, this means don't check out women in her presense, or comment that her best friend is hot. Save those conversations and activities for guys night out or alone time. 2. Do communication differences get better with time? They can, but only if BOTH of you are decent communicators to begin with. A strong communicator who is dating someone who is a weak one, or who doesn't believe in it, will always face conflict. Even good communicators in general can suffer lack of communicating in a relationship. It does strengthen in time if both parties are committed to it. 3. What keeps your relationship going strong? The fact that we are both willing to make sacrifices from time to time for each other. For example, I may not like a certain restaraunt, but gladly go to them equally because he likes it. We always consider each other's feelings, but still maintain independence to a certain degree so we don't feel smothered. We learned how to handle anger/conflict and even talk to one another in a non confrontational way to get our point better accross. I have learned NOT to state the first thing that comes to my mind when i am upset and angry as i tend to get hyper and blow things out of proportion, and as such i say hurtful things. He in turn has learned not to just run off when angry, instead now he will leave the room for a few to cool off and then return. Used to be he'd leave for hours, or when we didn't live together an entire weekend would be spent seething. Because we communicate well now, we better know how to diffuse a situation before it gets to this point. 4. Any words of advice for someone wanting to maintain a healthy relationship? Be sure to tell him the things you like about him far more than the things you don't. Men can be sensitive too, they just dno't always show it as much. They are sometimes wired to believe that men shake it off and don't express hurt. Be careful to not be too demanding, and don't ask for anything in the relationship you wouldn't be willing to give. Most importantly, take the time to get to really KNOW him, and talk about all sorts of topics to find out what makes him who he is. Never take him for granted. IN turn, never allow yourself to be taken for granted. If you practice this, most everything else can be worked out.

That is a bizarre coincendence! LOL

I did not even realize this was an old thread. To n83, you surely don't need to apologize for your feelings.....men don't go thru being judged for things like this anywhere near as much as women do. This is just life. We all have certain things we go for, some are just not honest enough to admit it. I am far from shallow but this particular body trait would have worried me too.

It is VERY similar. The only difference is, women don't ask a guy to pull down his pants to see what the rest of the bod looks like. Women's breasts and weight are very obvious from the moment you first see them. But PRINCIPAL here, however, is the same.

AMEN. Your positive outlook radiates from your posts Batya.

Based on svrcrows and RogerRamjets generalizations, since you are a corporate "type" you would be one of the same greedy, narrow minded folk that they criticize. However, anyone with a grain of intelligence can see you are NOTHING like that mold. So if they are wrong about you, or me, maybe they should realize they may be wrong about A LOT of people. Something they fail to take into account here is we have not criticized their lack of interest in conforming to the corporate culture. I have said numerous times that it takes ALL KINDS, but i am not going to expect the corporate world to change their standards on interviewing because a few people don't care for it. That is absolutely ridiculous.

Tell all of the people in the world who have been victims of prejudice that what they suffered "was just life". Labeling is as horrific as any other form of prejudice and labeling has been the catalyst of hate crimes and other similar deeds. It all BEGINS with labeling. Not saying you would enact violence, but when you label people you help to perpetrate the hatred.

We will agree to disagree srvcrow, because at this point I am starting to think these responses are a preclude to advertising booksales.

And that is extremely sad. Generalizations are no different from stereotypes and prejudices. It is all in symantics. People have gotten into an AWFUL lot of trouble in our world history by lableling groups as a whole. Very sad indeed. I find judging every corporate person who is nameless in a group is no different than judging an entire race, or sex. it is beyond offensive. But hey, whatever floats your boat.

I have reflected internally over my life many times about many things. With all due respect I tend to focus on the positive things about life. It is not that i accept" this reality, it is that i realize this IS the type of work I enjoy, just like some may want to work outdoors. YOU ARE STILL he11bent on thinking that a person who enjoys this type of work is selling out. You ARE using the term "accepting" in a negative way, for if you were not you would not ask me if i have gone inside of myself to find out why i do it. I am accepting of anyone's profession so long as it is legal. I have no need to be on a crusade asking others why they can accept what they do so easily. No disrespect intended, but I won't be buying that book. I find your crusade to be very negative. you see, I got an A for getting along well with others in gradeschool. I am also a very positive person. There is NO WAY on earth I would harp on the negativity about ANYTHING to this extent. I have far better things to do than sit around and btch about what I think is unfair. I go out there in the world and actively WORK to change the things that I can change, and accept the things that I can't and use it to my advantage. I really do not mean any disrespect in saying this, but I just find you to be a very negative person. And it is a shame because you are an intelligent person, but you are using so much energy (to the point of writing a book) that is all based on negative feelings. Why not write about something you ENJOY, no matter what that may be? I bet you will feel better internally if you are talking about the things aobut the world that you do like, vs so much time on the things you loathe.

What have you done lately for people in need? Great question Batya. I know that I always try to help others. What have you guys done? Maybe you have done a lot. Maybe you haven't. But I don't generalize because I don't have a bone to pick Another great point. I don't have a bone to pick with folks of any profession because I know it takes all kinds of employees in this world for us all to function properly. Just like in the wild, it takes all types of species and plants to keep the world ecologically sound. I think that the corporate haters might want to go inside of themselves and find out the true reason for their dislike and labeling vs trying to make those who don't have a problem with various professions feel like they are "sell outs". A common theme on this thread with the real anti establishment folks seems to be that you guys are just bitter about many things in general. I am sure that your life's experiences have led you there, but seriously, taking it out on others and generalizing to this degree is NOT helping your cause.

You are correct. Some love it and some don't. Apparently this girl DOES think it might be a problem and is seeking advice. It is NOT disrespectful to have certain tastes. Sorry to the smaller endowed guys who get upset, but how many women do you think have felt the brunt of knowing many men love large breasts and they were born in to an A cup? If this guys penis is truly the size of a woman's pinky, then yeah, I can understand her concern. I am sure it is a huge concern for him too but it is just like anything else in life, sometimes we are born with a physical trait we hate and the goal is to find a partner who loves it anyway. What about all the men who REFUSE to date an overweight woman? That is FAR more common than this issue. Yet they do it all the time and don't even get much flack for it...heck their friends usually agree and pat them on the back. But hey, it is THEIR right to have a body type preference. No one should be forced to date someone with a physical characteristic that is just a huge turn off. I don't think it makes a person shallow per se, because physical attraction is usually the first thing that draws two people together. Anyone who denies that might not be very truthful with themselves. If a man truly loves big breasts, he may feel less than happy with a woman with very tiny ones. Same for women and penis size. The good news for us all is, there are many different preferences. Some men like small breasts, some women don't mind a small penis. But no one should EVER be judged for honesty.

What planet are you from? This girl is concerned about sexual compatibility. if MORE people took sexual compatibility seriously, there would be far fewer need for sites like this and fewer affairs. Sexual frustration can be the root cause of many affairs. I applaud her honesty. And who on earth said she bases her LIFE on this? Sometimes a question is only a question. Good grief!

There are other ways to overcome a small penis and still be fulfilled. If you REALLY like him you can get creative. I won't lie tho, my husband is far more endowed than my ex was and i realize size CAN matter. But it doesnt to every woman. Some women have a lower libido and don't care, others like oral better so it works out. I don't like oral on me so for me, size matters.

If that is what you want to call it then sure. I like to think of myself as domesticated. I enjoy that. I don't live in the woods and quite frankly am glad I don't. I don't want to soar among the clouds, it is overrated. Plus I am afraid of heights. I find it ridiculous that some of you label people who don't mind structure and have made it work to their advantage. If you DON"T like it, that is fine. I have no probs with that. But i think that labeling people as you have done all thru this thread is wrong and labeling people and saying you cannot stand the rituals of interviewing or anything else that makes a "team player" (yeah i am sure you HATE that term) does not make you a free spirit. A free spirit would not waste their time hating conformity. A true free spirit lives their life and does not judge those who like structure. If someone likes being a tradesman - GO FOR IT~! I think that is fabulous. I would hate it if we didn't have any. I can't fix my own car, nor do I want to. I don't want to paint my house either. I don't want to redo my plumbing. I am glad there are people with a specific trade. They help me keep electricity and running water. Difference is, I do not spit venom about the people who do those jobs. And before you (roger ramjet) act like these jobs are the best thing since sliced bread THINK AGAIN. I know many people who work construction or other various jobs and they hate the lack of climate control, they hate coming home smelling like sweat, and wish somedays that they enjoyed a desk job. So don't give me that about tradesman having it so much better than corporate folks. EVERYONE is different and just because one person likes working for a company while another doesn't, does not make either right or wrong. There may be days that I think, ah to have a job with the wind in my face....then i realize, well with that wind comes rain and cold and nah, I really would rather have wind on my face when i go to the beach. Charecteristically I've seen the type of people that work for them are the type of people that will readily look down on his fellow man. What a crock of b.s. I think that your own insecurities are making you THINK that this group of people looks down on those who work a trade. BAH! I know as many blue collar people as i do white collar and i RARELY EVER hear the white collar knock the blue. But good God i hear the blue collar knock the "wussy pencil pusher" ALL THE TIME. My ex husband was a mechanic. HIs own insecurities when he was around businessmen made him THINK they looked down on them but they didn't. And his own insecurities would propel him to talk aobut the businessmen all the time - calling them fruits, and nerds, and whatever else he could come up with. It was all only because he was not confident in his OWN career choices or himself that led him to want to criticize others. He felt inadequate around this type of person because he did not do as well in schooling as he would have liked, and felt deepdown they were smarter than he was. When in reality, they weren't. He had an inborn skill that MANY businessmen would have LOVED to have had. I always thought he was a very smart man but he didn't feel good abuot himself. Stop labeling people. There are good and bad, and slackers and achievers, in EVERY job setting.

It is clear the corporate world is not for you srvcrow. There are plenty of construction jobs out there that would probably be more suited to your untamed nature. I can't think of many other job types that will afford you the type of lax and unstructured atmosphere you are seeking. But beware, even those jobs have rules!

What I think is probably going on is that instead of looking internally to evaluate why you were not able to work well with others and why you didn't have the motivation or courage to leave a setting where you weren't a good fit and find a new job, you've decide to place blame on "them" and "the corporate world." what she said!

live in a country, in a culture, in a society in which organized religion calls me a sinner, government calls me a taxpayer, businesses call me a consumer, and employers call me a human resource. I'm of value only to the degree that I grovel, work, pay taxes, and buy stuff. You'll have to forgive me if I find it difficult to have anything nice to say in these matters. Who cares? YOu can't control mindsets. All that matters at the end of they day is who YOU think you are. I can see your beef is not just iwth corporations, it is with ANY organized group. And that is just a cross to bear as it is what it is.

Oh it does matter, and one of the reasons (there are many others) i work for myself today.

How can anyone expect people to believe in the "team concept" when, at the end of the game (to stick with the sports analogy), there's always a Most Valuable Player? What is the recognition of a ONE MVP except a blatant admission that all "team-members" are NOT "created equal"? Honestly, it appears what you want is what schools do today that makes me nuts. I hate it. They are afraid to denote winners, MVP's you name it. They want every kid in class to feel like a winner, even if they suck at something. HOw on earth does this make anyone strive to get better? If everyone wins, why have sports? Why have contests? What reward is there for someone who is very good at something if they are no more recognized than someone who is far beneath them? I think what you are looking in the workplace is similar to that politically correct crap that goes on in our schools today. And i swear we are raising a nation of pansies if it continues. Some people work extremely hard and are talented. Why SHOULD THEY NOT be the MVP? I have worked so SO SO MANY slackers in my day and the day they get recognized as much as those who put their heart and soul into it is the day i'll go throw up several times in on day. You want everyone to make the same amount of money and get the same accolades regardless of talent and hard work or dedication. You want tenure to be rewarded regardless of anything else. And getting the work done IS important, but getting the work done with a person who professes to "not get along well with others" can make for a really miserable workday. I personally am glad that employers want to hire people who strive to get along with their workmates. I don't mean to diss you, but if you are revealing any of this in interviews you are likely to be unemployed for a very long time. It is what it is dude. If you are okay with that, go for it. But know that this kind of mindset is going to hold you back...and i know that is what you are upset over, but oh well. that is what being an adult is, making the most out of something that does not appear to be changing anytime soon.

That is so beautiful! All of those sentiments are the very things a mom hopes her daughter or son feels as they grow up. I like to think my kids think that of me ... i hope so. I am fairly sure I am one of their biggest heros.

This is the way the game is played. You can either let it beat you, or you can learn how to turn things to your own advantage. After all, most all of us are somewhere in the middle of the two extreme examples I listed above. We aren't SO unique that we can just walk in and demand the world, but we aren't totally average either. Everybody has some set of skills they can use to their advantage. And I mean EVERYBODY. BRAVO! Just what I was trying to say. I am not saying become a mindless corporate drone. You do not have to give up your individuality. I am saying play the game to your advantage. BRAVO AGAIN! This is why i was taking offense to some of the statements, because it was implied that because I take advantage of the game and play it that I am a mindless drone. I am smart enough to help the system and also to work it to my advantage. IT is a win/win situation. I am not saying I'll never be unemployed, because the likliehood that this WiLL happen at some point in my future is strong. We are in a world where employees are no longer loyal to companies and companies are no longer loyal to employees. People and corporations make decisions based on money. srvcrow if you are telling me that you would not have left your company if another company offered you ten grand to come to their side then you are indeed unique and a member of a dying breed. So if most people would jump ship for that kind of oppty, why is it so impossible to realize that a company also will do this?

When CEO's make decisions that are not ethical or go against policy then it is up to the orgs like Sarbanes Oxley to clean house. At least Enron did afford more stringent practices in the corporate world.