Clare37373

Why don't you pull out old pics of her when she was slim and hot. Tell her that although you still love her now, how great she'd looked back then. She may need just a little coaxing into trying to lose weight. I feel that issuing an ultimatum is way too harsh. You don't simply dump someone because they have put on weight. Actually I was once in your wifes shoes. I too had an H who complained a lot about my weight......but that wasn't the reason why we separated btw. After we separated the pounds dropped off......I am now thinner than I was when I met him....... LOL Perhaps you should leave her for a few weeks.......*just kidding*

HA! What comes around always goes around sweetie and who's to say that even if and that's a big IF, this guy does eventually leave his wife and child for you, that he won't leave you down the line for another bit stuff who makes herself as openly available to him as you have. Chances are he will. People like you make me sick to be honest. All we hear is how great you both make each other feel, how amazed you are that you both have so much in common........sweetie, don't you think that he will have said all of those things to his wife at one time?? At the moment you are both in the *honeymoon period* of your relationship - in six months, a years time, do you think this guy is gonna treat you the same. Hell, he can't even play straight with his wife or treat her with respect, albeit, his wandering ways so what makes you think you are gonna be treated any different by him when the newness of your relationship wears off..........ROFL!!!!! He is merely filling your head with crap and undoutedly will be exaggerating the problems at home to get into your pants, nothing more, nothing less. For Gods sake the guy is MARRIED!!! Have you so low a self opinion of yourself that you have to make do with another womans husband -someone else *sloppy seconds*. Can't you find a man of your own??? Do you get some kind of kick in knowing that you are eating *forbidden fruit*....because that's what he is sweetie, he is outta bounds and you should leave him well alone!!! I doubt you will have any concerns for his wife and child, people like you *HOMEWRECKERS* I like to call you, have no consciences at all. As long as your own selfish needs are being fulfilled that is all that matters to you. Think of his wife and child and what this will do to them if she finds out, put yourself in her shoes, how would you feel?? His wife and child didn't ask to be in this posistion and they don't deserve to be in this situation. And of course, if you are willing to mess with married men, then you should expect to pay the price. The wrath of a betrayed wife aint a pretty sight and you will deserve EVERYTHING that is coming your way if you continue to play party to destroying a marriage and tearing a family apart!!

Your ex is no more than trying to justify her affair and her cheating ways when she is blaming you for the affair and lays blame on these so called problems within your relationship. She is the GUILTY PARTY, NOT YOU. This is exactly what my ex of 10 years did. He BLAMED ME for his affair and his eventual leaving me, said we'd had problems, said he hadn't been happy for years.......lol....and much more hurtful things besides short he was trying to pin the blame on everything and anything he could think of. A cheater will do this for it then justifies in their own heads, why they do what they do. It's known as *denial*. Don't let her off the hook - she had this affair because she wanted too, she was thinking of nothing but her own selfish self and needs...now you've found out, she's gotta think of reasons and any reasons as to why she cheated, making you feel like you are somehow to blame in the process - well you aren't! Nothing, BUT NOTHING, ever justifies an affair. If she thought there were problems, then she should have talked to you about them - another person DOES NOT solve problems!! She sounds a bit of a serial cheater to me, again a bit like my ex. He had a one night stand four years ago and swore he'd never cheat again. Fast forward to three months ago he did cheat again, this time he left me and our daughter for her. You are best off without her. I would advise cutting off ALL contact with her......accept none of her calls and defo no face to face contact. Let her come running back to you and when she does, slam the door in her face Good Luck!!

Call a friend in your old hometown or a member of your family when you get the urge to call him - this is what I did and it helped greatly. The urge to call my ex of 10 years was very strong...but ya know what, when I didn't call him, he called me after a month of being apart and he still continues too three months after our seperation. He left me for another woman btw Remember that urges are only temporary feelings, they do go away DON'T CALL THAT MAN!! If he wants you, he will call you

Just ask her out, or get one of your friends to drop subtle hints that you are interested in her as more than just a friend. it's as simple as that. At least you then will know one way or the other where you stand afterwards.

Different circumstances, same prob - the guy in question in my case aint just an ex, he was my husband of 10 years and we have an eight year old child. He dropped a bombshell on me three months ago and told me he'd been having an affair, he walked out on his family to be with this woman........ Then the phone calls started four weeks after he left. Last one I received was two weeks ago and 2 and a half months after he left!!! Told me he still loved me and always would, tells me he is unhappy because he still loves me, he cries and sobs on the phone to me....blah, blah, blah........yet still he is with her so he is obviously where he wants to be regardless of these calls. I was moving on pretty well until these calls started arriving, in truth they have brought me a lot more hurt and are preventing my moving on. Trouble is I can't just cut off total contact because we have a daughter who he phones wanting to see once a week. Best thing you can do in your situation is to stop taking her calls, you have NO TIES to her...show the girl that she is completely losing you and you are moving on with your life.