Sally57chevy

I am the 'breadwinner' in my family...the one who comes homes late at night. BUT, my husband is still in 'tune' with TV versus wife and daughter. He likes to hunt quite a bit.... TV hunt shows, internet hunting sites, daily brother/father hunting updates. I asked him tonight, 'Why don't you ever focus on making time for us, out alone?" His response, 'Never thought about it'. Thoughts???

You would not have posted concerns about this relationship....IF you were NOT concerned. Instinct is something money can't buy. Go with your gut.

Isn't my family my husband and child? IF my Mother is retired and traveling...wouldn't it be much easier for her to add us to their itinerary?

You have financial security...what does she have to risk? Personal ownership.

Pretend for a moment, the shoe were on the other foot...would YOU understand? This is not to say you are wrong. Today, there is no need to be married, except for the need to be with one individual for the rest of your life. IF you do not WANT to be with this person, all bets are off! Enough said. BUT, IF you do, you have to be willing to give up 'securities' and also be willing to WANT to take care of someone else. YOU have to be OK with 'giving up money' knowing it's easy to come by....but are you ok with giving her up? Is 'she easy to come by' like the money you've accumulated????

My Mother does NOT understand the value of time. She is retired, NOT that she has ever had a 'career', and does not understand how difficult it is for my husband and I to travel 4 hours over a weekend to visit a home I never grew up in, to talk about nothing we have in common. When she visits me, it's difficult enough, just to prepare the home...... To take an entire weekend of driving, for a few hours of visitation, just to make a point with her ( point for her, we traveled) is ridiculous. My Father is not the same. He does not judge me based on the number of trips made to his house versus mine. Yet, my Mother is supposed to be the HERO. Does anyone see the problem here? If it looks like a duck, acts like a duck, QUACKS??? I know, I know...respect thy ..... sorry forgot.... My Mom is selfish, and not easy to be around..... How do I find a 'common ground'? Realize my life is over a 50-60 hour week, breadwinner in a two-income family WITH a 3 yr old who really doesn't like to be around me because I'm the 'bad' guy....eat your veggies, brush your teeth, get dressed before cartoons.... Why does everyone hate me?? (it's NOt paranoia but a new job which makes no use of my focal experience) My husband works hard around the house.....to secure his hunting schedule. I am mature, smart, 'used to be 'cute and making lots of money...just 4 years ago(single part).. Now I'm married (not something I had to have) and a Mother (not something I had to have, but appreciate) and I've completely lost every ounce of confidence and personal security I ever had. How do I ever get it back? I feel locked into a 'chapter' that I'm unable to exit. I've lost me......

Love, focus on you and what YOU need to do to make yourself happy. I can totally appreciate the need for your little sister to love you, but to do that you must find a place that makes you happy, then include her. As opposed to making her happy and trying to fit yourself into that picture. Make sense? That can be making her happy, IF making her happy makes you happy. For example, I'm 37, experienced professional, with a 3 yr old. I'm trying to fit my life to meet hers...but when I laugh honestly with her, she laughs too!! AND we're both Very happy. sometimes looking for the answers make's you miss them. Love