terk2021

Been there, done that. I have been fortunate, or unfortunate to date 2 women in very similar situations to yours. The 1st one, I helped her get over her divorce, and once she felt like she was on her own 2 feet again, I was just a friend with benefits, and she started paying less attention to me. The 2nd one, I was a little more cautious with. We dated for about a year, and she did love me. We got engaged, and 1 month before the wedding, she backed out. I have learned my lesson here twice the hard way. If you want to see her, understand that she may take a very, very long time before she is truly ready to be in a committed relationship, and take it for fun. If you are looking for more, as I was, then I would cut ties before you really fall more in love with her than you already are...

Great point on them not coming back and posting. Most relationships do end for a reason...

Has anyone had any success getting back together? It seems like every post out here is how bad everyone has had it.

It's very normal. Sometimes you will find yourself comparing the 2. Be careful and not try and make comparisons between yor ex and new. That was done to me and made things complicated when I was compared...

I know what you are going through. My fiance postponed our wedding in July while we were living together and had just about everything done for it. I asked her to move out. All of my family and friends were saying to not talk to her. I should have gone NC from the start after she moved out. I have done the opposite and we kept seeing each other. We agreed last night to take a break. That's alwas a scary thought, because it usually means the end. But I have seen 2 success stories where too much NC does not work. I don't think there is a pure rule for NC, but for sure not day to day contact. That's a bad way to end a relationship, and maybe you don't need a guy like that. It could also be that he was having a bad day. Guys do dumb things sometime. First, I would change the voice mail so you don't have to hear it anymore. Second, fire him off an email, not an angry one, but one stating that you are doing fine, and you were really worried about based on the voice mail he left you and wanted to make sure he was OK. Just a thought. If you have completely moved on, than leave it at that. If you still have some loose ends or clarity you are looking for, you may get it.

I have been in a severe state of depression over the past few months. It has to do with a relationship that recently ended. My fiance postponed our wedding 3 weeks before it. We talked about rescheduling, and she was just no sure when she wanted to get married. We were living together, and I asked her to move out. That was about a month ago. We have seen each other a few times since, and they seem to be good and bad. I am relatively new to the site. I have not been following the advice of NC, as I should have been doing ever since she moved out. My friends and family have been very supportive. I got anti-depression medication from my family doctor, which does not seem to be doing much yet. Right now, I have no drive to work, eat... All of the classic severe depression symptoms. I am finally going to see a psychiatrist today. I am hoping that helps, but for some reason, I just can't get myself motivated to do anything right now... I am afraid of losing my job, but part of me really just does not care right now. I am not suicidal or anything like that, but it almost feels like inpatient care is what I need... Has anyone here gone through something like that? I feel like going to the pyschiatrist is just going to pretty much give me the same advice I read out here...

I can't say that I don't agree with your posts. She is struggling with a lot mentally right now. I can't say that I have ever been in this position before now. Your right. I want to keep seeing her to find out where this goes, but in the end, it could work out great, or just hurt 10 times harder...

Thanks Frisco. The thing is she still wants to get together, and brings her daughter over too. I can't imagine she would do that if she was not interested in getting us back to where we were...

Thanks Frisco. The other hard part is I fell in love with her daughter too. We still spend time together. She says she wants us to work on getting us back to where we were... Staying away is really, really hard, but I am trying to start getting involved in other things as well. The norm is no contact, no contact, let her miss you. I am just not built that way. I don't want to put too much pressure on her, but I don't want to distance myself too much that being apart just becomes norm...

A few years ago, I became closer to a female friend that was going through a divorce. As she finalized the divorce, we began dating. I fell in love with her, but her feelings were not the same. I broke it off with her for obvious reasons. I was crushed for a few months, and began to get back out and dating. I met someone that I started dating seriously a few months later. It was important for me to find out early if she had recently gone through hard times. I did not want to make the same mistake again. She was divorced, but had been divorced for 2 years. She also had a child. We dated, took trips, and by 6 months into the relationship, we got engaged, took a marriage prep course, and had almost all of our wedding tasks complete. All was perfect. We bought a house and moved in 3 months prior to our wedding date. All seemed to be going well until about a month before the wedding. She started getting overwhelmed how big the wedding was getting, and wanted to postpone it. I thought it was a phase for about a week, but she broke down crying and said she was not ready to walk down the isle. We were living together, and she said she just wanted to push the date for a few months. She did not want to set a date, and it seemed the more we talked, or did not talk about it, the further a date was being pushed back or not set at all. We started going downhill after that. I asked her to move out a few weeks later. Since she has been out of the house, we have talked and seen each other. Sometimes she seems like she is ready to come home, others she seems very distant. She has been so hot and cold lately, that I don't know what to think. I still hear I love you, I want to marry you, and I want to have children with you but... She says she needs time to figure out what she wants. The 2 things I do know are that her daughter loves me, and she loves me, but she's just not ready to walk down the isle. I feel deep in my heart that this is the woman I was intended to spend the rest of my life with. Her friends say be patient and give her space. She lives down the street in an apartment in which she has a 6 month lease. Part of me regrets asking her to move out. At this point, I do have the ring. For 11 months I was everything she wanted. Now she's confused which makes me confused even more. HELP