IfeelLost

I really love her I just do not know what to do! she is the only one I want to be with........but I dont think she feels the same way. there has been trust issues with her and sometimes I honestly think she is seeing other people behind my back which i dont understand why she doesnt just tell me. I just dont understand what she wants from me, she would always say she is getting too attached to me that is not good.......but i am already very attached to her.

I have been dating a woman for 5 months now and things were going very good up until a couple weeks ago. I am 29 and she is 36 so there is an age gap but It never bothered me. I really care deeply for her and yes I have fallen in love with her but I honestly have no idea where i stand with her and It is causing me alot of confusion. She told me she loved me a while ago and I never said it back because i was not sure if she was serious because she was a little tipsy, but I wanted too so bad because i do love her. I love her more than anything and I really want to be with her. I asked her what i am to her and she said she honestly doesnt know now! She has told me she doesnt want a serious relationship and she doesnt wanna be tied down and she wants to keep her options open, she said she doesnt wanna be obligated to anyone. I told her I love her and she said it back once but she hasnt said it since, if i tell her I love her she usually just asks me if I am sure but she will not tell me she loves me, she said love takes time and she said she isnt sure if she loves me or not. She has been divorced for about a year and it wasnt the best of relationships so mabye that is holding her back. I see her all the time still and it feels like she is my girlfriend but I guess she isnt so it is a very strange situation to me, I stay with her sometime, she cooks dinner for me, we buy eachother things, go out with eachother, talk on the phone alot, have sex. She said she cares alot for me and I can definetly tell that she does......but WHAT AM I TO HER IF I AM NOT HER BOYFRIEND? is what I am trying to figure out! she said she wants to take it "day by day" whatever that means. I just feel so confused about her and I dont know what to do because i really do love her and want to be with her but i guess she doesnt want a commitment and she said she needs her space. am I just a friend with benefits? I dont wanna lose her but if that is what I am I want more than that, If I do not mean much to her and she doesnt want to be with me then why doesnt she just tell me and I will be on my way.