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Okay right now i just dont know how to cope about my sister, read that and you will understand why I know i have to be strong for her, i keep talking to her trying to get her to see a doctor, but she wont since everyone at work thinks she perfect wieght and she thinks so too, people at work only say that to keep her happy, when shes not there they talk about her and all and how she needs help. Shes going to the doctor tomorrow about it which she thinks its just about her breathing, my mother was gunna go with her but my mother has given up and is sick of it, so i said to my mother i will go in with her then since i am the one that knows everything anyway, so it will be alot easier and im alot strong than my mother is right now. Right now i am the only one that hasnt given up on her in the family, and i cant cuz shes my sister and if she died and i gave up on her i would never forgive myself. My mother said that her boy is going back to her thursday, i am really worried about it tho, she cant even look after herself and i dont want him to a more of a crap life, but my mother has a weak heart and this is all just stressing her out and its really not good for her heart. I am trying my hardest to be strong for my sister and my mother, but i have to for them, i cant just break down right now they need me to be there. The lies my sister has told to everyone and me, im not stupid i know when she lies to me. I hate it so much when she lies to me, i know when she is stoned, i know she hasnt been eatting, i know her new abuse bf is still drinking, i know she has forgotten about her kid, i know right now she doesnt care about anything or anyone, i have known her my whole life i am not stupid i can see right thru the lies When i spoke to her on the phone just befor, i told her she has a problem and needs to get help, i said mum cant sleep, shes worried about you, i told her she needs to be there for her boy, she said no im fine, i said i know and you know your not, stop lying to yourself, and just face the truth, she said im not, i said you just cant face the truth can you. Then she hunged up on me, i didnt bother ringing back he new bf is there so she wont do anything stupid hopefully. What should i do? i dont know anymore it feels like i am just gunna break soon

14 the i sure as hell wouldnt tell my mother. Im 16 and i never ever plan on telling my mother i have had sex befor, she would freak out and go off

Why tell your mother for? She proberly already knows, or just doesnt want to know, it really has nothing to do with her unless you fall pregnet

Trust me i have tried, my whole family has asked her to get help, but she wont. I havent given up on her yet, but at times i do think about it, but it the end i cant cuz shes my sis, i cant just turn my back on her. I wont give up on her, even tho it feels like shes pushing me away

Why you bring me into it, yes i have made my stupid choices in my life but i dont regret what i did at all, its made me who i am today and understand people alot better. Its not a selfish dicison well yes it is but its how she copes, everyone has there ways and this is her way, its just gunna be hard getting her better, maybe she will maybe she never will, who knows And i do love and care about everyone in my life, if i didnt i wouldnt try and help my sister would i?

Ok well i know i said i was leaving this site and all but right now i really need to get this out Okay some of you might remember me talking about my sis, well for those who dont, well she never use to eat much, only a salad, and she will do a very long run everyday at 4am. She Has a lill boy who is six years old, and a husband that she left not long ago. She is 25 years old, when she was about my age 16 a family friend tried to force himself on to her, there was a court case but he was rich and a only cared about himself, he payed the judge and he got away with it. She then meet this guy at work when she was 17, she slept with him and then she felt pregnet. Then later on in life my father killed himself, she was very close to him like all of us were. She and the rest blamed my mother for his choice in death, and i didnt see her after the funeral much. She got married to this guy, it was his family choice, it was a forced by them. years later she felt pregnet again, she was about 3months and my brother was drunk like he always is and pushed her into the cabnet, and she lost the baby cuz of him. She would then drink alot, do drugs and she wouldnt eat, she went down to 30 something kilos. She inproved for a lill while. She then came back into my mothers and my life, memors and everything came back to me, and i got depressed. Back then she was looking alot healthier. I went into hospital, came back she was still eatting i think. Then later on she would just start eatting alot less, and bringing her food up, and taking laxitives. She started smiling less, talking less, but i would always get her talking and laughing just being me, i could always make her laugh, my mother couldnt get much from her. She would always tell me everything, well most stuf. One christmas she was drinking got drunk and started crying on my shoulder about my fathers death and telling me all about it. I talked to her later on about her wieght, i said yeah but if you die dont you care about your kid, she said yeah, but if she had her other one she would eat again, i said yeah but hes your kid dont just do the same as dad did, she didnt say anything. Much then didnt happen, til lately, she doesnt even eat at all, she hasnt eatten since the 7th, not even her salad, she isnt even strong enough to do her run anymore, she has trouble breathing. She hooked up with another guy, for like a week, having sex with him in the same room as the kid. When he drunk he would abuse her, he got her smoking dope. And a guy at work has been giving her dope, its this really bad stuf too, and she cant handle it not the way she is, shes been shaking alot, not with it, she said it feels like shes just gunna faint. When i talk to her about it she gets all cranky about it, its just like i dont know her anymore, i want to help her but she wont let me. My mother has been to the doctor talked to him about it hes gunna do something to i hope. The other day when my mother droped me off at work, my sis was out side having a smoke, and said shes finding it really hard to breathe and felt like she was gunna faint befor, mum said come on im taking you to the doctor, she said no, mum went up to the other woman who was working ask if it was alright to take her to the doctor, she said yeah, my sis was saying no but she ending up going in the end. The doctor put a heart moniter on her, he told her to come back tuesday to get a stronger puff but really its about her wieght, hes gunna see her for an hour, and check her all over. Yeah my sis is gunna get a shock and cranky too, but we are sick to death what she is doing and finding it really hard to cope and sleep now. My mother has be looking after her lill boy she just cant cope looking after him and doesnt even show anyway that she cares about him, when i talk to her she doesnt ask about him or anything. Thanks for reading, any advise would be great

Okay well i havent been so good lately, and i keep hurting people, people i love, i am sick to death of who i am becoming, from tomorrow i am gunna change, i am gunna be happy again. And i just want to say thank you every one who has ever PM me or reply or even read any of my treads, but its time for me to leave this site tonight and never come back this time, this place has helped me in the past i hope it can for many other people aswell. Yous are all great people, yous really are. For all of yous out there, whos not yourself, act like someone else to keep other people happy, its time to bring out the real you, live life you no one else. I know what its like to be someone your not to keep the rest happy, but its ruined me, i am gunna be my true self from now on and rosie help me to do that, even tho she might not know it but she has. So thank you rosie For all the people i have hurt, i am truly sorry i really am, i wish i could make it up too yous. Chris i may have blocked you, but it doesnt mean i hate you, i love you as a friend i always will, you have been there for me so much but i dont want you seeing me like this no more, not until i am happy again. I am so sorry, i cant help it, i know i always hurt you but i really am sorry, and thank you for being a friend to me, really does mean alot even tho you might not believe me when i say that. So i Guess this is goodbye to Enotalone, Thank you everyone and i wish everyone all the best

So what if he is gay, what is wrong with that?

Read that, it might help you change your mind

No, dont it wont slove anything

Yes it is, i have done it myself last year when i was a mess, and i do regret it alot

Oh and thats not painless, that is really painlful, body slowly fails then you slowly die, in lots of pain

You know its not the right choice, and i know you wont do it, well i hope you dont. Everyone makes mistakes time to time but now dont make the bigest mistake of your life

Everyone does, just have hope and believe in yourself

Face up to it, dont run from it

Your sick of this pain, then get help, death isnt gunna help you at all, open your eyes stop just thinking about yourself, think about everyone esle to please, let them help you

So you dont care at all if you hurt anyone? Just think about your loved ones befor you do it please, and hey if you were really thinking about it, you couldnt look for the painless way, you wouldnt care how much pain, this is just your cry for help. What is really wrong? tell us please, everyone here is here to help not judge you

Your family, your friends, just think how much you would hurt them, you would break them and they might even do the same as you, do you want that?

So what i dont care. But just because you surrounded by idiots including myself doesnt mean you should end your life, you only have one shot at it, life does suck but ending it is the most selfish thing you could ever do, so i guess im not the only idiot

To tell you the truth i dont either, but hey i am not gunna end it and be a coward like my father. Your on this earth for a reason, tell as whats wrong? why dont you see a reason to live anymore?

Get to know him, be a mate, does he know your bi?. Just be a mate get to know him and see what happens

Why? you planing on it? No one here in the right mind will say. But hey whats wrong why you feeling this way? death isnt the answer. Your friends and family will never heal, no ones heals losing someone like that, they will always be thinking why? what were they thinking? why didnt they ask for help?, i know i ask myself that everyday

What the hell, i sleep with my friends that are girls. Its normal, my brother even sleeps with his mates he doesnt care, its only sleeping thats all.

Talk, to her about it, tell her it hurt you that she treated you like you werent even there. Just tell her how you feel

No i wouldnt