dlils21
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My motivation for telling her are many... Of course there is the feeling of some kind of revenge. I feel like giving her the bad news, as she has to me. It doesn't feel good to have someone call you and tell you your b-friend is lying to you. So in that sense, i want to have her feel what I've been feeling. Secondly I want to tell her because, i know how awful it is to be lied to. Although I don't know her, and yes i don't really like her, I'd still like for her to hear the truth. If she still wants him after that well then, theres nothing else i can do. Which brings me to another reason that Hope 75, was right about. Yes, a part of me wants to "distroy" what they have, in hopes of him not straying, and possibly being honest. Of course I know the later what change. But i'd know that they were kuput. I LIVE with my parents. They don't know about it. My mom kind of has some suspicions, but has not brought it up recently. I haven't gained much weight, and the tummy is growing, but not enough to say hey your pregnant. My parents have disliked him since highschool...they didn't like his family, they didn't like him. Then with time, he obviously didn't treat me right, and my parents saw that. So they don't like him...
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Thanks for all the responses and help. I'm gonna really need them in the next couple of weeks. Being alone has always been a fear of mine, and now, it scares me even more. To be alone and with a baby. My parents don't know about it. But they would be horified if they found out. Not so much for the fact of being pregnant, but because they absolutley HATE him. Soooo, it would be hard for them...but they wouldn't abandon me. I think. I have hope that he will be good father, I'm pretty sure he will be. unfortunately he's a lousy partner. Part of me thinks he's not going to want to let it go, (me) he may be a liar, but I know he cares about his baby, maybe just maybe even more than himself. Plus his own parents divorced when he was young,,,and i know it impacted him. No she does not know about the baby. If she knew...she wouldn't be hanging out with him. His entire "good guy" persona would die, and there would be no chance that she'd talk to him. Do you guys think i should call her and tell her? I know she knows about me. She once did the same thing and looked through his phone, and saw my number. She called me and left a message...asking me if i still hung out with him etc. And that if i did she didn't want to have anything to do with him...She's left messages like this on my phone before. But I've never had the nerve to call her and tell her the truth. She, like me has been lied to by him over and over, and he keeps us both hiddened, from one another. Or so he tries.
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Currently I'm about 13 weeks pregnant. Me and the father of the baby are "seeing each other". We've been in a realtionship for 5 years now, and in march we broke up. He cheated. In june we started to work things out again. He was still with the girl he cheated on me with. He ended up breaking it off with her (basically they werent' boyfriend/girlfriend). We ended up involved, but not boyfriend/girlfriend. I ended up getting pregnant. We decided to keep it. But through out this time i know he has still been seeing her. Not alot, but still quite a bit. I've posted on here before so if you want the details look it up under my name. Yesterday i ended up looking through his phone, as i usually do. Can't expect to get the truth from him. I found pictures of him and her, from about a week and a half ago. He bascially tried to shrug it off. This isn't the first time, but due to the fact that I'm pregnant, I've been hesistant to leave. I always threaten to call the other girl and tell her about what he's been up to, but he gets angry...and says "if you call her, you know it's over between us". I'm at the end of my rope. Yesterday I felt sooooo awful..because i know that I'm now left with few options. Get an abortion, which I'm not really wanting. I've had one before, and had no emotional connections to it. This time I feel emotionally attached, and actually love my baby. Plus I'm over the time limit for a "smooth" abortion. Or I can have the baby and hope that my family will help me with it. Of course this scares me more, cause I didn't want to bring this child in a broken home, but as it looks, I have no choice. ...Unless I want to stay with this guy, and be lied to over and over again. I'm so over being emotionally abused, its physically starting to hurt me. PLEASE HELP ME!!
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I've just recently found out that i have herpes. My first outbreak,,,,sucked. It was really painful and disrupted my life. So my question is to all of you out there who might know. ----Do you get more outbreaks more often, after your 1st? ----Does having sex, lead to more breakouts? ----How much does Valtrex, the pills you take to control it, cost? ----What helps ease the pain while you have a outbreak? ----Basically any info or tid-bits, any of you might know of!!!! THANK YOU, SO VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!
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Now what??? an update on my relationship
dlils21 replied to dlils21's topic in Getting Back Together
I knew this wouldn't be easy, I guess i got carried away with all the good feelings i was having. The other girl is not in the picture. They unfortunately work together, but not closely. THIS SUCKS SO MUCH!!! So he has to see her from time to time. He says he doesn' t talk to her, only hi & by stuff. Of course I'm not sure of that. But he has made the commitment to be/try/ things out with me. The reason he told me this is because i was asking about it...for some reason i want to hear it. It's better to know how he feels, no matter how it may make me feel. Is this weird, that i want to hear all the detail. I do, but i don't. Curiosity? but then when i hear the truth it hurts. Playbrat-- you're right in the beginning it did almost feel like a game, can i get him back, can i get him to leave her and come back...unfortunately i started to see if differenly and now would like to try things out again, with him. Gettingoverit---Yes I've lost over 20 pounds in the last 3 months. But most of that has been in the last 3 weeks. I'm 5'5 and 100lbs. I look emaciated, and most of my clothes dont fit me anymore!! -
I'm just updating my situation.....My mind & heart are a mess. I woke up with my heartaching, and i'm at work right now, and I can feel the "chunks" rise up my throat---as i am about to cry every 5 min. Yesterday me and my ex, went to our first session in couples therapy. It was a bit strange in the begging, but it ended up being pretty good. We both got to tell each other how we felt, and what we wanted, etc. We're going to doing some kind of communication module, where we learn how to speak to each other. Anyhow...afterwards we started to talk. he said that he missed her, and that he didn't really know why. But that he knew that he loved me, and was willing to do this so that we can have a future. I know he's said this before, and it breaks my heart to hear him say this. While he was saying this to me, i was crying...asking him how he could feel like that for her in just 3 or so months! He said that it's just different. Two kinds of "love". That mine is more serious...and that he can't see himself marrying her. (he only says this because she is of a different race) Still that pains me. GOD!!! Anyhow he says he's not going do anything to ruin this for us...but now I'm doubting if i'm doing the right thing. I feel like I've just put my whole life in his hands. My day revolves around how it is between us. Like I've said before this has affected my health, I'm at a gross 100lbs. I'm dealing with my new STD....(Thankfully the outbreak is just about gone). But that all pales in comparisson with how i feel emotionally. I feel like I'm going to be let down....I find myself thinking of ways just to make him happy, on how to keep him, anything to gain a few points in his eyes. i know it shouldn't be like this...that is why, Iam considering telling him to go and talk to her, and see if he really wants to be with her, or me. What should i do?
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HELP! Don't know what to do...very CONFUSED
dlils21 replied to dlils21's topic in Getting Back Together
Okay this weekend has been REALLY REALLY REALLY HARD. As most of you know i have been trying to work things out with my ex. Things are going ok with us, that is not so much the problem. Thursday morning i woke up---and had sores all over my genital area. Needless to say i was pretty freaked, i figured it was herpes. But of course i tried to convince myself of anything else..a rash, razor burn, in-grown hairs...anything but the worst. I called and made and appointment. I went to the doc's on fri. She confirmed my worst fear...i have herpes. I felt awful, and cried...but i've been doing "okay". It SOOO SUCKS. It hurts, i walk all funny, I've tried to be in bed, but with my luck....i've started a new job and have been super busy. I told my ex, and he said he didn't think he had it. I told him he could have it but not know, and needs to get some blood work done. He was pretty scared, but lately he doesn't really talk about it. Like he asks me if i'm doing okay..etc. Maybe he's just in denial. Don't know!!! He says he still loves me and that nothing has changed. I was scared about telling him, cause i thought he might not want to get back with me. Then again, more than likely he has it, or if he didn't then i gave it to him. Ahhh...just another thing to add onto the list of what to talk to about with the therapist tomorrow. PLEASE, PLEASE HELP ME....I've been surfing the web for info on this, but I'd really like to hear from actual people!!!! -
HELP! Don't know what to do...very CONFUSED
dlils21 replied to dlils21's topic in Getting Back Together
Thanks for all the support you guys. Like I've said before I know he's not over her. I mean we've spoken about it. It hurts me, but not so much that it hurts my heart. It bothers me. But we are just trying to see if we can work things out. I guess it's serious that were trying to get back together. Next tuesday were going to our very first session in couples counseling. I hope she can help us out, and even if things don't go well between us, I can know that things between us cannot be "fixed". I'm trying to guard my heart. I love him dearly, and I know if we don't get together it will hurt me. Not soo much because i lost him, but because i lost him to ANOTHER GIRL. I'm not sure what to think about that...is that wrong? Anyhow I'm at the point were I'm telling myself...that if he doesn't want to be with me, then he should go and be happy with her. I care about him...and i guess his happiness is more to me, than to have him be with me...and be wanting her. Of course there's the chance he'll want to play us both. And if that happens...well then it will be done FOREVER. -
What makes your ex worth going back to?
dlils21 replied to benevolent's topic in Getting Back Together
Great question. For me it's alot of stuff. But mostly it's the way they make me feel. How well they know me, and how i don't believe anyone else will be able to do those thing for me. Not to mention all the great memories, and the want to make more great memories. Maybe it's the fear of the unkown...that scares us all. Very valid point whomever said that we don't appreciate the ones we love until they are gone. Sometimes it's that whole, "wow i should of done this, and this mentality" let's go back and make it right. -
Since it's not coming until later this month...I think I'll just wait to buy the pregnancy test. If after the end of this month i don't get it, well then i think i'll have a pretty sure idea that I'am.
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Okay guys...i went to look at a calendar and thought REALLY hard to when i had gotten my period. So it should be coming on the the 25th, or so of this month. So i still have plenty of time. Hope75...the time in mid may was the guy i had been seeing. I haven't spoken to him in almost a month.
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Well other than that time the time befor that i had sex sometime in mid may. But i was on the patch then. Of course it could be... I think i will get a test and try it out.
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Okay...so I think i may be pregnant. I've not had any symptoms this month so far as to me getting my period. E.g. Stomach cramps, headaches etc. I'm not really sure when i'm getting it, this month.. Crazy i know...i just don't really pay much attention. Plus i had been on the patch for two months, but got off it...so it screwed my cycle up. Anyhow for the past three weeks I've been waking up and have had the urge to puke. I have nothing to vomit, because I've had NO APPETITE. I've been going through stress for about 3 weeks. But its only durring the wee morning. The rest of the day I'm fine. I don't eat much so, I don't really have the urge the rest of the day. I've been pregnant before, and the symptoms are not the same. I've heard that you have different symptoms each time u are pregnant. Is that true? Also the last time i had sex with someone was....okay let me get the calendar out..i think last thursday. I'm not good on dates. No protection. I don't think i'd feel it this soon. But i don't know. What do u all think????
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HELP! Don't know what to do...very CONFUSED
dlils21 replied to dlils21's topic in Getting Back Together
I'm back. Okay...so far things are going pretty good. On sunday i went out with him and we had a very deep conversation about what has been happening between us, and what we want to come out of this. He seemed genuine..and i believe him when he tells me that he wants to work really hard to make it work this time. So far he's been honest with me...he tells me when she calls. Like when i'm with him and she calls..he doesn't try to hide it. She texed him..and he showed me the text. Appearently she's really down...and wants him back. Yeah...just great. But he assures me that he's not going to do anything to distroy what's been happening with us. Indeed things happened WAY too quickly. But it just happened that way...i don't even know how. I guess when he left her, it just exploded to what it is right now. I feel REALLY REALLY Happy....which is a good thing, but in the back of my mind there is the fear. So i guess it's bitter sweet. Maybe all I want is to be loved, and thus this is why i want to continue this. -
HELP! Don't know what to do...very CONFUSED
dlils21 replied to dlils21's topic in Getting Back Together
Okay...so i saw him today at lunch. Oye...so he said that he was sure that he wanted to be with me..but he said he was hurting, over leaving her. He said he was hAppy with her. This crushes me but i'm glad that he is being honest with me. We also talked about our sex lives. He said he didn't know if he would be comfortable right away having sex with me. He says the thought of me being with the other guy was too much. He says that one of toughest things to come to terms with. Is this true for most guys????? I mean it bothers me to know that he was getting down with her, but it doesn't really consume me unless i really think about it. It was a given that they would be doing that. I just know that it will be hard for him to just stop caring for her. But he said that when he thought about loosing her it didn't bother him that much. But that he couldnt live or bear to be without me. I know..I know...I'm putting myself in emotional turmoil. Yes it's my fault. GOD...WHY DO I HAVE TO HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM. I wish i could just press a button and not have these feelings. Like I've said before..i think it's just that NEED to be wanted. Has anyone else been in the perdictament? Either me, him, or the other girl. What happened?