al7

1. Sorry to hear that... Hmm..even if he is from Iraq, it is a good topic to talk about... Ok you want to avoid it? Thats easy: Ask him "cool accent... what language do you speak?" they speak Arabic in Iraq as in many other countries. If he is from Korea still speaks Korean he might be from South Korea where all people are all right... If he is from Iran, they speak Farsi..not just "Iranian language", same with Afganistan. 2. Go a tone light, do not ask him where is he from... or what made him come here" Comment on the weather "Too sunny for winter todai, isn' it?" Too cloudy... Too rainy.." Go you the idea. 3. Yes, it is perfectly ok.. to talk about some simple things... just do not ask too specific\personal questions: what do you do...where do you work... why did you come here... Talks about the weather... or coffee that you like...somehting like that.

DN is right. Do not send more card, just ask her if she liked the card....

"What made you move to Wisconsin?" might be too hard to answer quickly...I would prefer something else like: "I heard it is a nice place..do they have the same cold weather there in the end of winter?" Weather is a light decent topic I guess.

1. It is simple: as a simple substitution of a question, when you have to act quickly... you know what to do: look at him, say "Hi" and smile a little bit long and a little bit wider than you usually do when you are happy. Make sense? 2. Slow down, cut on coffee, it doesn't contribute to your health. For example I don't even remember when I drank coffee last time. Plus being in a hurry is not good thing either. What helps me is not having a watch. So I am alway allright and not stressed out if you will be late or not if I got 15 minutes to do some stuff or not. I feel good! Just use a clock at home, computer clock... and thats it. 3. I am dumb and I would think she is friendly... oh maybe she find accents sexy? 4. Weird and intrusive?? Only a weird and intrusive guy would think that way, trust me. 5. Of course say somehting... if you don't have time, or cannot come up with somthing just smile more at him.. smiler better and smiler longer

1. How do you know? Just gueassing right? Have you met many female with large breasts and all of them were easyoing? In my experience they got hit a lot by superficial aggressive guys, gut hurt and develop more bitter attitde toward men. It is not about evety woman of course it is just statistics in terms of "most women who have large breasts" thing. 2. If you have a huge ears you would get a funny image. And guys with huge ear tend to be either more shy or more bitter too. Think about it. 3. I don't care, in my vocabulary words do not have bad connotation.

Lola55, I prefer curvacious women with nice (not small) butt. Breats size does not matter at all. But. I noticed that females who were lucky to get large breasts got hit by guys a lot, and since those guys are quite superficial, the women got hurt a lot. What we have: many women with large breasts could be bitter about guys. So I exercise caution when talking such females. Statistically speaking I prefer sombody with a regular breasts since they are not hit by guys that much and tend to have less bitterness. I would rather choose a girl with a nice curvy butt since I like it a lot and not many guys go for it: many many guys like super slim girls and I don't understand why.

The answer is yes in general, but it all depends. If you date a PhD girl and you are showing off how you can fix a tap in the bathroom, you might get lose some points by doing so. But if you have fixed a tap say by called a handyman, thats different: you showed some leadership and management skills, plus you are not broke and helpful. See? Same thing, but it might be precived so differently... Anyway I believe you don't need any skills like fixing cars, change oil, hunting and beer drinking...It is not important if you can do that. What important is if you are WILLING to fix the problem and can do it fast and keep you cool while doing it. Sure there are some skills you may directly brag about: Any kind of social skills for example. You can brag about you friends for example and it is ok to do so. Some skills make you very appealing but you gotta show them in an indirect way: seduction skills (if she know you had many women you got a HUUUGE plus, but of cours eyou gotta have skills to let her know that in a very inderect manner, don't brag about it directly.. it has an opposite effect), money earning skills (do not say numbers... just show your lifestyle), leadership skills. Anyway, I want to make sure: what kind of skills your friend meant while drinking?

Just want to make sure: you do not do these "Puffing your chest and displaying your tail" all right. How many many girls do you get by NOT doing it? You want a little brighter, ok. You consider that chest puffing some osrt of low form... ok. And what do you do to get that "someone a little brighter"? What better form you know and practice?

I guess by skills we mean SKILlFULL ability to brag about in the way that is appropriate. To be able to advertise himself wihtout showing off too much. Then it is skillful.

1. Unfortunatley far from it. Just a few men can do that really good. 2. True, they should think about it. Though they shoudl TRY. This is the only way they can develop true confidence, right? 3. Being HIMSELF is good, I agree. What if he is not confident himself? He should learn.. social skills, confidence skills...are very important. ......Where I would find some confidence classes? Anyone?

Step out of your nice vacuum: dating is full of double standards.

OceanEyes, You cannot have eat your cake and have it too, agree? If you support some positive things from double standards for you, that means you gotta bear with negative things for you. We figured out together: you do not approach men and you are not willing to give in here and start approaching men (for various reasons). It is very cmofortable for you I agree to get to know men through friends etc. and basically doing nothing in term of thinking how to approach a guy or face possible rejection from him. It is a positive part of double standards. If there is a plus there should be a minus. So if you do not want to get rid of your bonuses I do not think you would expect to get rid of negative sides of doubles standards. It should be fair. Make sense to you?

marigot, Here is my quite different opinion. Yes he needs some time alone, that true. But you have to first HONESLTY ask yourself: why the fight started? I assume that you were kinda testing him: how he handles these type of situations. Obviously he didn't do very good. Now it depends on you: if you still think he passed your test (I don't think he did though) then I suggest you to contact him after a littel while. A week is a good ballpark.

corvidae, What do you actually want out of this topic? Do you have some pecific questions? needs? advice? Do you want anything? Cuz it is just seems to me that we can rant about standards forever... It is nothing personal, I can rant too, but I guess it is better to find ways to change that somehting that you don't like about double standards. The double standards do exists. What do you want to do about it? Are you willing to do anything or you just want to talk without any specifc goal in mind?

1. Ceema-k, you got 5 stars (Highest rating in cognac)... I guess it might be right for both sexes too. 2. It is not that they innately insecure, it is because they used to communication with the world by quite powerful method: sex. It is like when you go hunting but instead of a rifle you brought a tank with you. Yeah, you killed enough deer all right, but would you be able to get any trophy or meat out of it?

Well, then you got all things you need: decent looks (at least not singnificatly below average for sure), decent social skills. For that year that you didn't go out you saved some bitterness I think regarding double standards. I know it is true the double standards exists, but we cannot do much about it. So are you good at flirting with women? Before that year, did you ask women out, how often...did you try online dating? I mean you are the person who knows what your real problem was: I can assure you it is not about double standards though... I just want to point out: there is no point in figuring all things about double standards since the more you know, the more you feel the world is unfair... and it is not conducive to anything good in my opinion. Start doing somehting in a positive direction, like figuring out what you lack (any skills, money, ability to deal with women, etc etc) And. "Sometimes I just want women to understand how it is for men, because that view tends to be massively under-represented or distorted in the media" I agree with you here. So? If you want to change something about it you don't have to persuade just a couple of women on these forum. It is a tiny scales. Go for a more ambitious goal: create a group at your uni (you got the skills and experience I guess) that would make a difference in education of men and women about genders and society. You can do lots of things and most men would happily support you, besides I have never heard of any kind of organization like that before.

Gotcha. never seen anything in mylife, that why I think female stalkers and aliens from Mars are similarly non existent species... Although I remember some girl were showing interest, but the disparity in looks were more than I could tolerate. I mean, people should go for kinda similar people: I would not approach any models for example.

Ok, since now you know you got decent looks (many people told you so here for exmaple) it is irrelevant what you thought to what you think right now. Appearance might be not perfect, what natters is that social skills that we lack. You gotta first ADMIT you do not own good social skills, and then work from there, i.e. do something (maybe very simple) to gain some social skills. Let me ask you: in general are you a social person? You got to parties? any clubs? have friends? etc.

1. There is a big difference here: if a man likes a woman and they had sex early on and the man is into relationship then he thinks "Wow - this woman is seducing me - she must really like me!". It is mainstream thinking. 2. Maybe what happens is women advances are invisble to men, if you just looked at him, he would not get what is that about: you look at a beatuful picsture behind him or you like him. Men do not pick up indirect signaks and I dont get why women STILL think men do pick up those subtle signals? 3. I am sure it is true for both sexes..some women may look only at some super handsome dudes who alreadey have like 10 gf. Sure after that women are a bit perplexed: how come he is not loyal?

1. You are right in your observations: I am no sweet here.. well, I just keep in mind that we are not supposed to be bitter in real life, and if we any sign of bitterness we gotta go talk to a friends or shrinks. Well, I talk here... 2. Not really. I alway say: most women, I just point to the most likely trend among most women. Sure I cannot say "all women". 3. It is true.. somewhat. Men do not prefer shorter women, men do prefer women who like them. I mean women set thi standard of height, and men just follow it. If a woman is taller some men would be scared that she would just find a better, a taller guy... 4. Absolutely right. I agree. (Personally I don't like slim women, but it is just me, statistics are trully different) 5. I think you are right.. It is hard to come up with something creative. Really hard. Did you get my PM? 6. Sure. If a women state that it is just a friendship and pay for herself, it is fine and men should not think about romance. But what is she just doesn't say anything, let him to pay for her? 7. Hmmmm... let me ask you: honestly how many men you have approached? Maybe it boild down to statistics again: how many men approched you and how many men you approached. B) I agree with what you said. Just I was not able to get why if a agy say 26 and she is like 29, she look at him as if he is some sort of a deficint man... oh well, it happens, and happens often. In fact I would say it is almost a mainstream. I am not thinking it up: these are facts: I have seen many online profiles, and about 80% require somebody older, at least by a couple of years. Why is that? again some unexplainable attracting thing? C) You are very unique than. Again based on what I have seen in terms of income preferences inonling profiles, about 70% of women want their man to earn significantly more than average income. It is just a fact. I am not even adding to it anything.

Man, I wish I would have your skill! 1. Ask for the number in the end of the convo, then it would be natural: I'd like to know you more, so I need you number to get a hold of you. 2. Since some womne are UNCOMFORTABLE giving their numbers, I suggest to ask for her email first. She should be more willing to give it to you.

I am not sure if society is easing up on them. For example: a) in the are of dating women have far more advatnages than men: men have to approach women, come up with somehting smart to say, face rejection. Be upbeat after 101 woman says "No thanks". Women do not have to do anything of those: just filter out guys. Isn't it a huge, multiple advatange women have? AND this is not going to disappear...obviously women do not women to forfeit this just cuz we want to be equal. b) Most women are still EXPECT men to be a) taller than they are b) a bit older or of the same age c) earn more or about as much as they do. The thing is no one knows what rationale women have behind these preferences...We know it all comes from the times of cave people, all right, though how about now? There is no sense to still prefer exactly the same things that were useful in the era of caves... Not that women have an advatange here, no. But men are put to disadavantge: they should satisfy these obsolete requirements. Is it going to be disappeared? I do not see any trends in that direction yet.

I have an answer for you: Imagine a reverse situation: you are a guy and you are told by a girl "Yeah.. you are a cool guy, I am sure women'd love to date you, you are dating material!" and then the girl just disappear and doent not respond to you phone messages. As a guy, what would you think? That she is simply not... So if you reverse the roles, the answer wouldn't be much different.

I guess you may take initiative: you may ask men out. So you will have more ooportunities to get to know each other! You don't have to just sit and wait until a guy ask you out... How about that? FOr all women: I think you may simple ask men out. Why not?!