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1. I don't go to places regularly except for groceries: the stores are huge and there is no way I see the same people there. 2. It just doesn't make sense! How can you speak to strangers several times??? Then he is not a strangers anymore.. Ok, typical sitiation: a guy saw you n a store, walk up, chat with you.. "what's your number?"...you don't him the one cuz... he is still a starnger? So what he can do to get to know you better??? Tell me pls. Live in that store, wating for you to come there again? 3. I do not see much people in my uni, if I see them are they running somehwere... 4. What kind of trust you are talkign about? what cave? It is all about giving him your number or email. What is bad about it? Even if you meet him at a party with friends, so what? he might be as carzy as any starnger. What is teh big deal about not giving him your number\email? The only thing I can come up with: "Whta if he is a stalker"? But a guy at a party might be a stalker too, don't you think? They are both guys, and you didn't know them before...so what is teh difference? 5. Ok you now are having fun cuz yo have tons of friends. imagine you have moved to a new place and go to work everyday 9 to 5. You basically do not know anyone, and do not see anyone new expect you boring coworkers. Thats it? There is no chance you would expand you circle of friends according to your attitude?

Iori_Yagami, I have an idea for you: Write down this advice somehwere "Move on, date another girl" and put it in your desk. Then just forget about it for next couple of week and go for the girl you like: try to win her with eveything you can, do your best! Put all your efforts in pursuing her! I guess you are thsi type of person who learn through practice better.

Good post, thanks! 1. Thats where I agree with you 100%. Though I personally do not care how good her skin is, nit looking for a perfect makeup user and I don't care what kind of care she got for her hair...it is not somthing I value that much over what kinda person she is, how attractive I find her in general. It is ok to be overweight, I see no problems with it. "morbidly obese" sounds.. just morbidly of course. In fact, I would not reply to some makeup artist and a model at all: why would I need somebody with so high maintenance? 2. Oh yes, I have this phrase sitting on my desk all the time. Seriously. 3. I have never even thought to hide my photos from public. Why would I want to do that? Cuz my coworker might see? first of all I don't have that many coworkers, and even if they see, that means they were dating too. Yeah that all is true...the problem is how to take good pics? FOr exmaple last time I took abou 100 shots and? almot none were good. Photography is art I'd like to learn... I slighlty disagree about party and sports: I reviewed so many profiles with pics where people just holding their beer bottles..It doesn't make any them unique or sober When you play sports, it is hard to see your face, I guess such pics would not be informative: just write about yoru fav sports why to have pics about it? Smiling. you know what? Look at some male models: most of them are not smiling! I believe they know what they are doing...if some guy or a girl has his smile up to his ears on all of his 10 pics.. well... it would look they they are very average John and Jane Doe, with phony smile and some lack of taste. Sure if you are a girl and got a beautiful smile, show it. But please not teh same smile in all 10 pics. Not many guys have a good smile. Besides it is better not to smile for guys much. 4. Of course I agree with it. The quiestion is how to do that. It is so easy to say" Hey be unique! add some humor! Make good pics!" Easy huh? The thign is how to implement it...

1. I know what you are saying. Me neither. What does it have to do with saying NEXT? 2. Ok, there is no need, do not meet anyone. 3. Very good you don't need to date anyone. Cool man, you save lot sof time, money and energy. I envy you in a good sense. 4. You didn't make it clear: first you ask "what is the outcome of such situation"? I told you the outcome is not somthing you are going to like. No you say infatuation... what do you WANT? Do you want to forget her? Stop this infatuation? I don't see what exactly you want. Say it.

Well, I didn't mean "talk" I meant to befriend strangers. Some women definitely say "no way! I am not going to give any stranger my number, it is about trust I meet men through friends". Do you personally support this or not? Why would it be no trust to a starnger? Imagine he has friends who are your firneds, would would it change in terms of trust?

Lets talk about evening it out. What is a ballpark figure of first dates you had in last 6 yrs? And did you date constantly all these time, or.. intermitently (like one year did and the other did not)?

1. Just want to make sure: you posted somehting creative and was just sitting aorund 6 weeks getting 30 reponses?? (4 is such small number I don't even count it) Wow, you are the man we all have to learn from. I am not kidding. 3. Yeah, thats a really cool prop to start convo with. She doesn't have to think twice: a dog is a good topic to talk about. I am thinking... maybe I have to bring my dolphine into picture? thats would be cool too? Or borrow a really cute dog from a friend? It doesn't really matter whether I have the dog or not, she is not gonna date teh dog anway 2. I'd like to disagree with you... though hm, you seem know better what works. Hmmmmm Very hmmm.. So then.. what is you take on the profile? What is the good stuff to write about?

I just want to make sure: in the sense you are not like people, men of you age when it comes to dating? I guess when it comes to dating and men's age, the crucial thing is a guy's financial situation. But it seems unlikely that you referred to it, did you? If it is just about experience in dating, hmm you got me thinking, I am good at math: 27-21=6 years of dating for a guy in his twenties is quite decent time span to say he has experience. So what were you referring to?

I personally do not say anythign about morals. I guess it is more specific: I link her being "independent" with sex on the 1st date. Plus it is just unsafe and she sure knows it... It is like was unsafe for Monika Lewinsky to confess to her quasi-friend about her relationship with the president. That friends later betrayed her big time... Well yeah we all make mistakes, I can stop here? NO!!! .....it was also unsafe of her to store that dress unwashed... and confess about it to her not very trustworthy friends. It got me thinking.. she didn't want to be safe in the first place. No one blames her for the relationships...but her thinking was very...bizarre. I recommend to read a book about it, it is a good historical lesson to learn.

1. Thanks LaSirena. I noticed though being perceptive is not something many can relate to, or appreciate or at least use for their own benefits. thereforeeee...You are a rare breed I guess all people here like to talk but just a few are willing to think if they have a challenge in their life. There was a good topic about why people do not listen after they got into trouble, get over it.. got advoce and then again got into teh same trouble. Well, we all make mistakes, but I believe we can at least think and be honest with ourselves. How do you know I am from MI? Got a sixth sense? From my knowledge of climate and recent summer trip to MA I guess etmpereture wise men here and there are supposed to be similar. Here we have more bumpkins, I would estimate MA men are more refined.. should be at least. I like your point about comparison: if anyone think that studio pics are not realistic, then they should not wear any makeup and do not show their clothes. Then it would be fair. I personally kinda unsure movie stars have an edge in the looks department. They might posess a very distinctive personality - right, but looks? not very impressive to me, unless they wear tons of make up. By the way, somre time ago I didnt think makeup is such a ig deal.. now I am sure it is.

mtastic, Thanks for the data. it appear even from teh start we have some setady data regarding match: 1 in 9 is as good as we (3 people already) can get. Isn't it interesting? what do the rest of 8 girl think? Why is this so hard? I don't understand the actual reasons so far but I have a gut fleeing it is all about two thing in your profile: your head shot pic and your income. If you have the best pic and the best income, I guesrantee you women would sent you tons of emails: you wouldn't even have to do anything. How funny I thought and did that unethical experiment, oh yeah it worked as predicted. Deleted data about income: wow, still lot sof responses. Hmmmm.....we all are wired for an attractive face?

Good luck with it! And you know.. I don't think he failed. I guess he aced it kinda 3 out of 20 for match? That exactly what I got with very good pics (maybe even I myself is not so goodlooking as teh pics). When I had my average pics I didn't get even 1 out of 30-40.

Good point. What made her get over not only dating "rules", gender stereotypes but also common sense of safety reasons? If a guy inisists on having sex on teh first date... what would she think of him? Right... nothing especially good. The same is applied to women.

1. There is no double standard. Women do not think good about a guy they slept with on the 1st date. Ususally they consider it as her own weakness and assume this relationship is not serious... 2. Well, men who didn't do much think are attracted to independent and self assured.. yes. Independent is a huge turn off for men if they know what it is REALLY MEANS. 3. Why do you think men do that? I believe men know what it means to have sex on teh first 1st dat for a woman. The woman simple considers this as a fling, as her own weakness... and thereforeeee won't think of this guy as someone serious. Not many men can voice it, but many men feel it. They can feel too.

1. How true! I definitely agree. But is not it sad a bit? Women wanted to be independent so much ... in order to ged rid of "the entanglements of a relationship"...Interesting goal. I wonder why would a healthy, attractive person (especially woman) want a sex without a relationship? Cuz her soul is empty and the heart is getting colder? Just think about it deeper: is it about inability to deal with people on an intimated level (don't confuse with sex ok)? is it about being too business like that causes such inability? I guess independent women are getting successfully defeminized these days... by their own will. Of course you can say: forget about it, we want this independence from men! and that it. It is ok to want it, but it also brings along such coldness and soullessness...

I wish I'd have you optimism and live in your area Yes I did travel a bit, but man you don't want go there..if it is something that qualifies to be a city, usually it either has a quite high crime rate or quite rich\old\snobby people. and people simply do not walk there much, I gotta go inside a bar\club\restaurant. I still have not idea how to make friends at those places. You can drink, eat, but friends?

What is an approximate success ratio for you in online dating: number of emails you sent to women in order to get one reply from a woman? For example: you usually had to send 10 emails to 10 different women in order to receive a reply from one of them and 9 didn't reply. So the ratio is 1 to 10.

I don't undersandt how: girl are not willing to meet a starnger again. So I have no chances in real life to meet any girl: pretty or not so much. What were you talking about?

Yes, it is familiar feeling. But what is your point? The best thing you can do is to date somebody else. Do not try to forget her... just date other girls. What do you find "hard" about it?

Interesting. If I don't have any female friends it seems I don't have even a chance? oh welll..

1. Women have much higher sensitivity in general. She thinks you started stalking her... 2. Yes it is true. Be ready for even more frustration since dating has always set a line of rejections. 3. It is not scary... it is normal and common. You know, people die and we find it sad rather than scary. We have to deal with it. Dating is general nothing like perpetual fun. Why? cuz in order to find sombody we have to experience many many rejections. Think of it as if you are in HR dept: you gotta hire sombosy and gotta reject the rest. It is a common way. 4. They said a right thing. Click NEXT man...it doen't matter if you can control yourself when you see her or not. Just move on to the next girl, can you do it? It is simple... I don't ask you to try to forget her. Just move on and dat eother girls. A simple practical application of the theory described

Was your experience of "silent" rejection from onlind dating? I mean where did you meet guys? Sorry, but I cannot fully get what you are saying: he doesn't call, ok, fine. He is not inteested. Was it after the 1st date? If yes...so what??? he didn't hurt you then, he should somewho say "sorry I am not interested" and I don't think it is a very good way to say it face to face. maybe he doesn't have guts to do so.

Thats understandable. You still need to filter out responses anyway, even if you would have all hot guys writing to you. But some of them are not "hot" enough... that's why I advocate good pics. One good photo in a studio alone may bring 3 times more replies than 10 pic we shot themselves. I wish I had a friend who works in a photostudio Besides, were you adaptive? I mean if a profile doens't bring good responses, it needs to be revamped.....

Ceema, You seem preceptive, I imagined how I felt if I were you on that date. I am glad I managed to convey I'd feel. And that's definitely a very good policy to have!