Jibralta

This is something I would like to think about some more.

Remixes are always interesting. But I still prefer the original version of Wicked Game, by Chris Isaak. The girl in the remix reminds me a little of the girl in the original video.

I am composing my response for my raise. I want to ask for another 10% on top of what they gave me (3.75%). A couple years ago, I asked for 11% and they gave it to me. I regretted not asking for more. But man, I am scared! This will be the second time I've asked for a large increase. Yes, it's just a question, but it's also kind of brazen. I fear it will backfire in some way. But why should they be angry if I ask? I'm just looking out for my own interest, as they are. And I do top-notch quality work. I know this because I see what other people do. Argggh, angst.

Sophie B. Hawkins Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover This is a cool song. I remember the video a lot differently. Looks like the band is having fun, though. [video=youtube;Lt6r-k9Bk6o]

That is a great song! I couldn't see what it was yesterday because my internet is f*cked.

Back in September (post #26) I wrote about some trials and tribulations that I experienced with the mentoring program that I am participating in. Basically, I felt like the mentee, Bill, was overwhelmed and intimidated by the path ahead of him. His communication dwindled, and I didn't know how to help him push through the fear. So, I backed off. I called him once more to keep our monthly meeting, and he didn't answer. So I didn't keep the meeting after that. I felt a little bad about giving up, but I'm not going to beat a dead horse. Frankly, I felt a lot better after I gave up on him. This was, however, an unofficial resignation. I had an uh-oh moment when, a couple weeks later, the program coordinator emailed both of us and asked how things were going. Bill responded positively. I just sort of rolled my eyes at that and responded with a neutral, "I'm here to help." Which I still was, if he decided to put some effort into things again. He didn't. A couple weeks after that, the program coordinator contacted me and asked how things were going with Bill. I told her that I hadn't heard from him since October. She said she would reach out to him and see if he responded. I got the feeling that he had stopped communicating with her as well, which is why she reached out to me. Three weeks later, she told me that she still hadn't heard from Bill, and that she was giving him two weeks to respond before she terminated the mentorship. He didn't respond, and she terminated the mentorship. She asked me if I wanted to start a new mentorship or take a break. I agreed to start a new mentorship. What the hell. It's like almost no work, and it could help someone. So she matched me up with a new guy, Alan. I haven't spoken to him yet, but I read his profile and liked what I saw. Very no-B.S. We exchanged emails and plan to talk next week. Hopefully, I can be of some help to him.

Thanks, reinventmyself and dias. Yes, I have become disenchanted with the corporate world. It's the people who are keeping me here at this point. This year, I am going to position myself to move on. I don't know if I will or not, but intend to be able to do so by year-end.

Sounds like you are moving right along. I remember worrying once, during the melancholy period following an unexpected break-up, if it would be possible for me to find a companion if I wasn't 'broken' in some way. It seemed like so many guys gravitated to a certain pain-pattern. Women, too, obviously, but I was more concerned with my 'mate-ableness' at the time. I don't know if that makes any sense, now that I type it..... But anyway, I was in therapy at the time, working on myself, and I had this fear that if I resolved my inner turmoil, it could actually be unattractive. The White Knights would certainly run screaming (no major loss there), but what if real men were repulsed by sound mental health as well? Oh well, didn't stop me. And everything turned out fine. But I do see the patterns of attraction, for sure.

I take it back. It was meh. Sorry, Barb.

That is wonderful :) Merry Christmas.

This is the riff that I thought of (around 2:50) when I heard the first riff of the above song. Although I guess you can argue that Metallica used a similar sound in Blackened. Slaughter had a phenom guitarist. Unfortunately, he died young.

The other night, we heard this song come on in the car. The guitar in the very beginning reminded me of an old band called Slaughter, but as soon as the drums kicked in, I thought it sounded like someone doing their best to imitate Metallica. As the song went on, I heard so many Metallica-esque moves that I thought it much be Metallica imitating themselves--no one would dare imitate Metallica so much after what happened with Napster, lol. I listened to some of the lyrics and googled when we got home. It was indeed Metallica working through their old bag of tricks. Anyway, this is the song. I really do not like Metallica after the black album.

Oh no! I wish she wouldn't do that!

Fire Woman The Cult

High Enough Damn Yankees No, it's not about drugs...

I'll See You in my Dreams Giant I remember this video from when I was about 12, watching MTV all day (back when it actually played music all the time). The image of the lonely old lady at the beginning and the end of the video filled me with dread. The message seemed clear: Love was in her grasp, but she screwed it up by arguing and now she was alone and full of regret. If she'd only held her tongue, her lover would have stayed. Her solitary life was punishment for her assertiveness. It's silly, but that image has always kind of haunted me. Like, I'd better start falling in line and learning my place lest I end up like her, sitting all alone on a stoop, regretting my uppity ways. So I wanted to revisit the video. But for some reason, I incorrectly associated it with High Enough, by Damn Yankees (another really good song). A quick visit to YouTube straightened that out in my head, but I still couldn't figure out where this lonely old lady's story came from. I heard this song on XM's Hair Metal channel a couple of months ago. I knew the song, but couldn't remember where I'd heard it before. It's quite melodramatic, but I think the melody is beautiful. Last night, the melody popped into my head and I queued up the song on YouTube. Lo and behold, I found the lonely old lady and her story!

I'm snagging this and putting it here as a bookmark so that I can reflect upon it later. I don't want to derail the original thread. But it's funny how priorities change over time. This too: Oh this comment is rich! I'm a Hispanic woman who voted for Trump. I know other Hispanic blacks, and Asians who also voted for the guy. To call every Trump support a "white supremacist" is absolutely ridiculous. I've seen some bigots who support the Democrat party (Antifa, BLM) - including the chair person of the DNC calling Hispanics "Taco Bowl Voters" in an email -but that doesn't define the whole party, right?

I got a sht raise, and I'm pissed. Objectively speaking, it is a decent raise because it exceeds the cost of living. But it falls FAR short of my expectations and I was quite clear about that when my boss gave me the figure on Thursday. In retrospect, I feel a little bad about my reaction. I don't think I was rude by any means, but I wasn't appreciative at all and I regret that. When I saw the increase I didn't believe how low it was and was actually waiting for him to hand me an additional figure. When I realized I was looking at the final number, I blurted out with something like, "This is not ok." This year, I received a high performance rating, which is almost impossible to get. But my increase rate is actually lower than it was last year, when my performance was merely "Strong." Apparently there were sht raises across the board this year, and mine was comparatively high. But in the realm of reality it's like a slap in the face. My boss said that he agreed that it was unfair but his hands were tied. When the amounts came in from upper management, they were not able to contest them. He asked me to wait until midyear for him to get me a better raise, but I was not amenable. I said, "That was the strategy last year. Now it's going to be another half a year??" Last July, when I officially received my license, I asked him for a raise and he agreed, but suggested we wait until year end, because he felt the increase would be higher. Now we were both staring at the unhappy increase that resulted from waiting. We talked about it for another couple of minutes. But basically I just argued every point and refused to give ground. I couldn't help it. I just kept opening my mouth and speaking my mind. Finally, he said to give him a month. Get together what I think I should rate. I agreed. I returned to my desk livid, but also feeling a sense of freedom. This shtty raise meant that I could look elsewhere for a job. That meant other options for living and commuting, which would be a relief. But that sort of move would still take time to plan. Plus, I am literally midway through a two-year project that I want to see through to the end. Another year at this company seems inevitable, either way. With this g-damned horrible raise. Yesterday was quiet and I spent the last half of the day designing a budget for next year. I am also going to have to do a lot of research about the kind of job I want to target, and find a practical place to live. I also have to get my resume into shape, and put together a portfolio. There's a lot of work to be done this year. I'd hoped to take some art classes in my new-found free time, but it looks like I'll be needing to push recreation aside for a while. I want to believe that my boss is on my side, but after this incident, I wonder. That makes me feel bad. But how can I know what really happened? I don't know. I really do like him, and the other people that I work with. I feel like I am learning A LOT. Much more than I would learn elsewhere. It would be a risk to leave. I'd planned to stay for another two or three years, just because the experience is so good. But the company SUCKS. I hate this company. I hated it before the raise, and now I hate it more than ever. It's run by idiots who have no appreciation for their employees. They pinch pennies and lose dollars. There was a coup after the merger, and now clowns are running this place instead of competent people like my boss.

I am constantly discovering new things about myself and what I really want!

Thank you very much :) I'm glad you called security on that guy. I hate people who try to intimidate other people.

Ugh. Nauseating.

Dragonslayer Yup, circa 1981. Made my boyfriend watch it after he made me watch Reign of Fire. It's an old favorite of mine, right up there with Ladyhawke and (gasp) Krull. Dragon still looks pretty awesome after almost 40 years. Maybe I can get him to watch Red Sonja one of these days...

No coconut flour, either!

I'd really like to eat some savory, cheese-filled pastries right now.

Yes, I'm referring to me, and others like me. With regard to the men remaining silent, I mean they are often less judgmental of women than other women are.