warnerbro1

They're hiding.

Yeah, I usually only stare at a girl if I really want to get to know her. There are obviously other attractive girls around, but I only really "stare" at a girl I want to get to know. As far as what I'm thinking: For me, I usually think that I wish I could get over my insecurities and EXTREME shyness (somewhat socially anxious) and just start a damn conversation with her. I have a huge problem with that cuz I think people think I'm probably real aloof and cold, but I'm really not. And when I am staring at her face, it usually only lasts for a few split seconds and then I get all nervous and look away and am on my way. It means I want to get to know her.

Here's the link for the article: link removed

Man, we could have a whole forum dedicated to the weird things that happen in all of our dreams. Dreams are still a big mystery to me. The funny thing is, I bought Newsweek this week for the first time, and the cover story is about the mystery of dreams. I haven't read it yet, but the article looks interesting. Oh yeah, silentone, I had a dream just a few months ago about this girl I kept seeing in my math class. It really is weird when that happens, 'cause you just get the feeling this girl is the one. I'd never had a dream about anyone I found attractive before. I won't go too much into the dream. Basically, I was walking home in the rain to my front door, when I turned around, I saw her walking real, I dont' know how to say, maybe sensually, with a bright dress on and carrying an umbrella, and the look she gave me was that of someone you just knew was for you. I was so into this girl that I got knots in my stomach and almost a paranoid feeling when she walked into class. I didn't talk to her at all, I greatly regret that. I agree with the earlier poster, just go up and try to find a natural way to talk to her. You'll never know if you don't try. But, that's easier said than done. I'm still working on my social anxiety in certain situations such as that. OK, I'm done, lol.

I'm actually doing the same thing right now. I'm working on improving everything in my life. I deal with depression and social anxiety. I just picked up a book a few days ago, it's called Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David Burns. It's a big time seller and has gotten a lot of recommendations by a bunch of people on some other forums also. I'm already feeling optimistic after incorporating the strategies in this book. I was an overweight, shy kid in high school, had few friends, had only a few close ones. I've lost about 60 lbs. since January, but even that isn't enough, you have to change the way you look at things and deal with your emotions. I'm trying this CBT technique and seeing if it will improve the same thing you are trying to improve. Hope you can help yourself also! Have a good one!

No pain, no gain (or something like that?! )!!

Hey Cranberry, I also do the intense 20 minutes every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday on a treadmill. The distance doesn't really matter. It all has to do with making progress and getting a little more intense over time. I do about 2.15 miles in 20 minutes now. When I weighed the most, I only did about 1.6 miles in 20 minutes. I do the interval training ( I follow the body for life program by Bill Phillips). It's all about sticking with it long term, by eating healthy and exercising. Just do it consistently. I've come to love running because after you do it for a while, you get used to it, and you'll be able to run harder over time. I've lost almost 60 lbs. since January 12th of this year (started at 270 lbs., I'm now around 210 lbs., I'm 6' tall). You'll definitely get a lot more benefit out of running intensely in shorter amount of time instead of taking it easy for a longer time. Another thing that really helps is cranking some tunes while halling a!! Keep it up!!

Yeah, I'm in the same situation. Actually, about all I do to help with my social phobia is to read forums, such as enotalone and yahoo! groups: shyness, to relate to others. It actually makes me feel a lot better that other people are going through the same ordeal and that I can relate to it. I know you probably know what some of the causes are. But basically, I have realized that it has a lot to do with my low self-esteem/confidence and I know it will just get worse as I get older. I'm trying to work on it, I just need to quit procrastinating and set some goals and go through with it. The worse part now is that I've lost a lot of weight thinking that would help with my situation, but it really hasn't. I've realized that there are plenty of people of all shapes and sizes that deal with this debilitating disorder and it just eats away at you. I have been going to college and I'm just extremely quiet in class, don't say a word, and sometimes when I see people, I realize that they must think I'm aloof and just cold with problems, etc. It's extremely annoying when you attracted to someone and you can't do anything about your problem and that person probably just thinks I'm a loner or just not approachable. I'm done rambling, I don't know if any of this makes sense, but I just had to say that I have been dealing with this problem also RagingBull. I too know that once I get to know someone, they actually realize that I'm cool to hang out with, but still, that irrational thinking creates a roadblock, and I continue to be self-conscious and become mute. If any of you have or is dealing with extreme shyness and/or social phobia, please share. And for those who have gotten better at overcoming it, please let us know how.

ISTJ. Yep, I'm pretty damn introverted, unless I'm . But I hardly ever get to that point.

After browsing this forum for about a month now, I figure it's about time I do a little post in here. (Just hope no one recognizes me here ) I am in the same boat as some of the guys here. I've never had a relationship with a girl. A lot of this had to do with my low self-confidence and being pretty damn shy and introverted. I have never asked a girl out on a date or anything like that. For the most part, I've always kept to myself and the couple of close friends I've had. Well, all through out high school I was pretty overweight. This obviously adds to my introvertedness and low self esteem, etc. I know what its like feeling isolated and such. Now I am 20 years old and have finally figured that it's time to improve myself. The last couple of years I've tried to stick with eating right and working out consistently, I would lose some weight and then go back to my old habits. Well, you could call it a new years resolution or whatever, but starting on January 12th of this year I finally started up again with my mission of a new healthy lifestyle. Since January 12th I have lost 55lbs. I started at 270lbs (I'm approx. 6' tall exactly) and am now down to 215lbs. The consistency of my eating right and working out has payed off, but I still feel somewhat depressed and just can't get out of my shell of being shy and introverted. Losing weight has obviously been a good thing for me, but my confidence is still low because I guess it has to do with what most of us do, and that is compare ourselves to others and what they have. I guess my question is this, or just let me know if any of you have been in or are in similar situations: How did you defeat your shyness? Even while I'm at college, I just can't get the nerve to talk to just about anyone in my class. I know its dumb, and I see that everyone else is pretty much just human like I am. Even my buddy will invite me to go to a party or whatever, and I always make an excuse not to go because I have such extreme anxiety and what not. I just want to know if anyone is in the same boat and what can I do to change my attitude and just say "Screw it, you only live once, just go for it!" O.K., sorry if this doesnt make any sense or whatever, I'm not used to being this open with anyone, and I would appreciate whatever it is you have to say about this and if you were once stuck like I am. When people that havent seen me for a while, they say how great i look after losing so much weight, but i still have this low self confidence and i just dont know how to get out of it. And ive always heard that its probably irrational for me to look at myslef this way. Because, I've heard people that were in my shoes before say that when they finally did start opening up and start talking to people, they realized that they had extremely irrational thoughts about themsleves, and as it turned out, they were actually the cool people to hang out with after all. If anyone could share their stories or whatever, it would be awesome.

Nothing wrong with being nice.