moneypennyxx

It has nothing to do with, pigeon holeing, in fact i have been away and given all of myself to a role to help in the hope to do something and feel good about myself and my contributions in "making a change" but ive come back and everyone is happier then me, settled, have money, moved on, bought houses, and not feel the loneliness that i feel. I feel that no-one has time for me cause ive been away and no longer a usual attendee of things and feel ive missed alot. im just saying to expect to caome back from these thingsm feeling forfilled, but im empty, and feel ive come back to nothing, all sacrifice (which i accepted) but i just dont connect with anyone. I wish i could have fell for someone out there, i just am not attracted to african males, very different culture, the way they talk, their build, they dont make cups of tea. any suggestions on fitting back in. im not a mopy person normally

yeah, im sure he was a pr%%ck, im just a bit off my game, and yes just adjusting. thanks, actaully that has really helped xxx

Hi all. Im 27 and never had problems when first dating men, i was usually chilled and didnt even think that i liked them till 6 months in!! ive been in Africa volunteering for a year in pretty horrible conditions, where all the men are black africans with HIV pretty much everyone i met had it. As you can image i wasnt even attracted to men there let alone have any possibilties. So i havent had to think about dating. Ive been back 3 weeks and started dating again, met a guy off a web site and thougt that he was cool. We went on one date, and had a nice time, he text me after, I have been quite casual and cool, but cracking up inside. I have been waiting for him to contact me to make a new date, but we were both too busy, he told me he`d be at a club this weekend and hed hope to see me, so me and a mate went, he ignored me, and then told me his ex was there and so he could talk to me, so then I told him just to get back with her and not contact me again. (ok, i was very drunk, alcohol is also something ive not had in almost a year) I cant get him and the scenario out of my head, he was rude and being as we`d only been on one date im glad that im not getting myself into someting bad. I dont know why im tormenting myself over a guy i only had one date with!!! Im never this full on. When i was away i was so alone and isolated but convinced my self that once i was home, i would meet someone. But i feel a mess, i dont know how to relate to people, i want to cry all day, but obiously im looking for work. Im thinking of exs that never bothered me before, and i jsut want to meet someone, so that i dont have to keep thinking anymore. I doubt anyone can help me, but i am so tormented and would appreciate advice from anyone!

How long was it when you were able to pull yourself out of it. how long did you go through "the mess" Ive been missing my ex for nearly 3 months now, and i consider that too long. x

Please please post us in 6 months and tell us we are wrong. Please do this. I would love to hear from one person that stuck with it and didnt get hurt. none of this stuff is to hurt you, no-one said you were stupid, infact every said you were pretty and didnt deserve this, none of us do. i know your hurting, but please some back and tell us all was ok in the end. This is at the end of the day a support board and we are trying to support you, you have to remember that people who are on support boards are those that need support them selves and thereforeeee most people on this site have been wronged, by their other. I was with a guy, who told me to give him time, the next time i saw him he was on a date, we didnt get back together. I have no interest in other men, im not an ugly person inside or out and i didnt deserve it, i was blind to the cr*p he`d been feeding me. please email me and let me know that for some people it does work out. I would like to have hope in your quest to save this love. Take care I and everyone hope it works out for you. x

Oh my god girl!! what are you doing!! ""after talking for quite a while... he gave me a date. He said if he hasn't found someone else in 6 months, he is going to marry me. He says he doesn't think that he WILL find anyone, and made a promise to me that he wouldn't get physical unless he knew that it was over between us"" to help you through the denile ( cause i`ve been a "im not ready for us right now" gal) this paragraph above implies that he is LOOKING FOR SOMEONE ELSE!! what happens on nights when he doesnt come home and you are all alone in the house? what happens when these nights become weeks? what happens where he starts to smell different, talk differently and have new phrases that you havent heard before? what happens when in these six months he does infact FIND SOMEONE else? all this you dont want to read/ hear etc!! but you have to. what happens when he sleeps with someone else, intentionally or not? things with a girl "just went too far" is oral sex allowed then?? he is ALREADY dating right in front of you!! what part of that is acceptable!! one day all this will sink in!! and you will be angry at the blind fold of love falling over your eyes, that he is infact a guy unfortuantly at this time being led by something other than his brain, and you, desperate not to loosing him are giving him a free reign. By saying ""after talking for quite a while... he gave me a date. He said if he hasn't found someone else in 6 months, he is going to marry me. He says he doesn't think that he WILL find anyone, and made a promise to me that he wouldn't get physical unless he knew that it was over between us"" you ARE in fact a back up!! imagine giving a friend in a similar situation advice, what would you say to her!? When this ""and made a promise to me that he wouldn't get physical unless he knew that it was over between us"" havent technically things been over for a while, isnt that why you justified him going on a date?? your trying to justify for actions as you said "YOU REFUSE TO MOVE ON TO ANOTHER GUY" you are refusing to accept all this, and trying to justify everything with your own excuses. Things are over between you he is ALREADY dating other women, it is only a matter of time!! x

The main thing that you need to see here is that there is still no improvement, if he`s gutsey enough to check your emails and listen when his mom calls then he is gutsey enough to ask you back or ask you out to talk. But the fact is, he still doesnt want to talk to you and he still isnt being very respectful to you. The minute he contacts you he knows you will jump when he says. The whole point of the no contact rule is to say I WONT BE TREATED LIKE THIS! its not so he`ll call and then the minute he does you yake that as a lead to keep contacting him again. i dont know about this god brother stuff. But anything that involves seeing or finding a reason in the back of your mind to speak to him is bad. Do not contact him, let him know for once what he is missing! and dont start over calling him the minute he contacts you again! x

i think that this could be possible, but then i didnt see the offending mucus. And sometimes if i`ve had a rough day i like to shower before getting intimate. but it depends on how much you believe her, cause if she is that paronoid she probably wouldnt let you do other things. (i.e. more intimate) you guess is as good as ours

Quite simply, if you cant be mad and sad at the same time. if you can remain angry at someone then you dont feel the hurt, if you hate them you dont miss them. you most likely have your share of unresolved problems, and my holding on the these she can stop herself from hurting, i.e. if you remember only the bad stuff you dont miss, your not gonna remember the good stuff you do. if you really want to give it a chance, then be patient, call her and plan to meet, and talk it out, it may take more than one meeting and may take hours, but write down your problems tackle them one by one, but your right, she wouldnt stay mad if she didnt care. x

Ok, i take it you are self harming, how long have you been doing it for ? but you mentioned suicide, so i acant work out your problem xx

Ok, for a start, you mates are rubbish. try looking at the "do not contact" section!!! on these pages there are two things that you dont have by calling and texting someone, thats respect and most of all power, the reason why us girls cry so much when men dont call or text is because we are powerless to the situation! and in fact the more that you do, the worse things are!! mission one: DO NOT CALL its obious that you have too much free time to think about him and the relationship, whether his calling etc etc, get a second job or start a hobbie, i started working in a bar and made great friends and before i even realised i stopped thinking about him mission 2: fill your time! most of all, the ball is in his court now, stop trying to contact him and make "things ok" i hate to be blunt but you are making things worse, and allowing him to get nastier and nastier towards you. mission 3: get new mates!! the ones you have obviously like you alot, but they dont need to talk about this guy all the time, one should at least be saying by now to pick yourself up, in the long run looking like you are "over it" to him and your mutual friends is gonna make him come running back alot faster than him hearing you are constantly moaping and calling. i wish youthe best, its the only way to get yourself back a litle respect and power. L x

Hi I think we have kinda the same problem, the bloke I was very jealous and controlling, i couldnt see my friends and when i did he`d have little strops till eventually i cut back from them. He wanted to be the one thing i needed always and thereforeeee would be there if i was ill, even wouldnt let me sleep alone, but its not love that makes him do it, its him knowing he knows where you are and that you need him. controlling men can the the kindest but also the nastiest people around. when it was just me and him, things were amazing, but i couldnt have just him in my life, and thats were the problems started. the reason why you need time is that you still feel trapped by him, that you need space time to sort out your head, but if you cant work that out in 6 weeks appart then when are you?? i know that i could love him, but its that side that stops me, and makes me wonder if he really is the one i want. i dont know yours and his history, but you need to find what is stopping you from loving him fully and that`ll be the reason your arent together. x