thatguy

yeh im like that too, i think if you can relate to what they're talking about it helps in being able to squeeze in some comments and start a conversation. just because ppl may not respond to you right away doesnt mean they think your a loser or whatever, so don't let that get you down. I think just like anything else, practice makes perfect. and it always helps if you have information from news, or something else that people might have an opinion on or be interested in. good luck, hope this helps

this seems like a big problem. have you talked to him about any of this, you should see how he feels on the matter, since you aren't together anymore, what is the point of living together. i dont think theres anyway you can force him to move out, since you both co-signed.

Believe it or not I've got the EXACT same problem as you, for all my life throughout school i was usually depressed and althought i had a fairly large group of friends I was never as outgoing or determined as them. and after highschool i just started drifting away, smoking pot, and always bein ashamed of myself, and it just kept getting worse and worse, I couldnt stand to see even my own picture, I always thought down on myself, and i was just hiding from it through getting high. I think its because as long as I can remember i've been torturing myself over the fact i've never had anyone special in my life, and its really hard to think positive when theres nothing positive happening. so I've decided to quit, and am considering anti-depressants, I took them when i was younger and they seemed to help. Maybe this is an option for you too? sorry, i easily get caught up in my own worries when the point is to help you. you ask "what did I do to cause this". I think its because your self conscious, and have low self esteem, jus' like me . I started thinking that all of my friends didnt like me because i didnt have a life of my own, and purposely avoided going to party's. and I avoided situations that would make me feel uncomfortable, But that didnt help at all, it made it worse because my thought pettern began eating away at who I really am. but i've come to realize that im still very young and I cant continue to live my life in misery, its doesnt matter how many friends you have, or how much money you make. What it all comes down to is being happy with yourself, cause thats really the only thing in your life you have complete control of. and when your happy with who you are, you won't ask "whats wrong with me, why don't i have many friends". You'll think things like "im a great person, and anyone who says otherwise can go to hell" and the reason you think "I guess it's my personality that scares people away from me. No one likes to be around me" its your self consiousness that scares people away from you. if you always think negative things, people will only see negative things. take some time to reflect on your life and was it always this way? For me that helped alot cause there have been times in the past when I was happy, but my depression has taken over a large part of my time. I still struggle with myself, and very easily get into a depressed mood I could type on and on for hours because all i really do is think about "why?". I hope my story has helped give you some insight on your problem, and if you ever need someone to talk to, just give me a PM. good luck

I dont have much experience when it comes to relationships, but it sounds like he thinks he can just say whatever he wants to you and get away with it. you have to let him know that you wont stand for it and that if he cant treat you with respect theres no point in being together. hope this helps at all

I still have the same problem as most of the people in this thread. But im trying to find out why... I think its because I've always been very self conscious, I am skinny and look alot younger than i am. for years throughout high school I would just think of avoiding relationships with girls, because I feel as if because im different from other people, that no one will accept me for who I am. This is because I havent accepted myself for who I am. Which in turn leads to lower self esteem. and from reading all the post of ppl who havent had girlfriends, I've come to the conclusion that they avoid contact with new people (especially females). and they keep running away from people because they are in secure. thereforeeee they become more and more socially inept and never become happy with who they are. you notice the people that have had many relationships and friends always seem to be "better" than yourself. Thats because while you've been in hiding, afraid to face the world. they've been out there meeting new people, striking up convo's, whatever, because they know who they are, from learning through other people that they are just as good as everyone else. The answer lies within yourself no ones going to get a girlfriend for you, you have to man up and get out there, you only live once and you can't expect to be happy by hiding from yourself. Im not saying this is the reason for every guy thats never had a g/f, But from reading these posts its the best conclusion i can come up with. I_Kicked_Kennedy is thinking in the right direction. BTW. just out of curiosity, how many people who havent had a girlfriend, have had girls as friends??

I can think of two solutions: Try talking to her more and see if she has the same feelings for you. Or take your mind off of her by doing things that you love, i.e. sports/hobbies whatever. And to just be happy that you have her as a friend.

Thank you for your advice DiglyD. it really opened my eyes. although I do have some self-direction. I just focus on the negative aspects when Im depressed. I've been working full time as a carpenter and have been saving for a car for about 5months, I think what I need to do is spend some of the money on myself (i.e. new clothes e.t.c). and I really need to start getting out more. I definetly need to stop smoking weed, all its doing is killing my motivation...

I am currently 18 years old, have never had a gf, and am in need of some help. just recently I have come to realize that I am not and have never been comfortable with myself, I was born 3 months pre-mature and was kept in an incubator for 2 weeks I believe, and I have always been under-weight, im about 6' and 130 pounds. I have tried going to the gym and tried eating more, but it never seems to help, over the past year i have been smoking alot of weed. I dont know why, whether to un-consiencously better my eating habits, or to escape from the reality that im different from everyone else. I've been on a few dates and such arranged through friends, but since i am not comfortable with myself I would never pursue any relationships. I have been reading posts from people who havent ever had a gf, many of which seem to be very un-happy and miserable. I know a few people who are in there 40's, never had any long-term relationships and still live in there parents house. I don't want to end up like them. I know that i currently am headed nowhere good, since being out of high school for a year I can't even seem to make up my mind on what i want to do with my life. I have stopped going out with certain friends just because I feel as if they will critisize me(they're all more social/popular). Im not horribly depressed or anything (*yet), I have alot of things in my life to be thankful for. I feel as if I have been hiding from who I really am, All throughout school I just dragged my ass, barely graduating. I never actually thought about why I was this way, but now the answer is so obvious. I feel as if I have been lost all these years wasting my life away... Any help/comments are much appreciated.