asia604
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sounds like this guy is just using you, ditch him, you can do so much better.
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well it turns out he lied about his friend coming over, he was on msn for most of the evening, so it looks like he didnt want me to come over. I have been avoiding him, and just limiting the contact between us. He left a voicemail asking if I wanted to go out with him and his friends on friday night, and emailed me asking if I am pissed off at him. I replied back stating I was busy, and then he replied saying "sure sure, promise?" I am pissed off because first he tells me he wasnt looking for a long term relationship and wants to be friends, I agreed, and now he is looking to get some. He keeps changing the conditions and expects me to play along. I am so confused, I just want to be friends, and if things happen they happen right? I am looking for long-term and refuse to settle for anything less. Please tell me if I am on the right path.
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I really like this guy, but he just got out of a 7 year relationship. He told me that he isnt looking for anything long term and wants to be just friends. I agreed. After chatting for a few weeks, he told me that he really likes me and wants something more (granted he has been drinking alot lately). I told him I dont want to pursue this as of yet. I dont think he is ready. I do like this guy, but he is headed towards a negative path of destruction and I dont want to be dragged into it. He invited me to his house the other day, but after having this chat, he blew me off, and said that I couldnt come over only because his friend wants to come over and see his pc that he is selling. Is he trying to get back at me for turning him down? I am beginning to wonder if he is just looking for a rebound. I still want to be friends. I mean if I sleep with him all these emotions will get involved, and if I dont he gets upset with me. I cant win. He wanted to be friends, and I agreed, and now he is changing the conditions. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
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Well, he told me the next morning that, if he had been alone with me, it would have not been good, and when I was drunk, I remember him telling me that I looked so yummy and that he wanted to take me somewhere where we could be alone ...(if you catch my drift). And also he had asked me if I wanted to go out with his him and his friends for more drinks after. He wanted to show me off to his friends. I just get the feeling that he just wants to sleep with me, as well as just have me as a trophy girlfriend. Am I being paranoid? I am not sure what to do, he is really nice and sweet. I have not met a guy like this in a LONG time, but I know if I do date him its not going to go anywhere as he is looking for a short term relationship (whatever that means! ). Should we just get to know each other as friends? Please help.... Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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Its important, it doesnt matter if she gets along with her parents or not, if you end up marrying this girl, at least you will have her parents blessing. In the long term, I think its great that her parents like you.
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we both love each other, but i dont see myself married, help
asia604 replied to AwsomeDude's topic in Relationship Advice
maybe you are not ready for marriage, I think if you were ready for marriage, you can see yourself married to this person, and the little things she does should not bother you. You definitly need to be honest and talk this over with her. Its not fair to her or yourself. -
Where do I go from here?
asia604 replied to BehindBrownEyes's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
K@t is right, this guy isnt worth your time. I know exactly what you are going through, my ex cheated on me, it took me over 8 months to get over a 2 year relationship. I did the same thing, I phoned him, emailed him, etc. The first thing you have to do is tell yourself that you are too good for him. I know its hard, Take everything that reminds you of him and throw it in a box in the back of your closet. Delete his email address (and his emails, or put them in a hidden folder), delete his phone #. I had the same thoughts as you, wondering how someone that can love yo, be so cruel. Its not you, and its not him, its the situation and it wasnt meant to be. My advice is very similar to K@t's. Keep busy, focus in schoolwork, go out with friends, read, have fun. What helped me the most was the support from my friends and getting a gym membership. Try to go at least 3 times a week. It gets your mind off of things and you meet new people and it does make you feel better. My friend told me something that really stuck, guys are like a bus, they come every 5 minutes. Obviously this guy is not worth your time. I know this sounds harsh, but forget him and look after yourself, after all thats what really matters. I hope this helps, chin up, you will be fine. Trust me. -
I really like this guy, and I think he likes me too. We talk everday and have been chatting on IRQ for a about a week now. The other night, we went out for drinks with our mutual friends. I got really drunk and he only had a few drinks, but I told him I really like him, and he said he really likes me, but the thing is he just got out of a 7 year relationship, and is not looking for anything long term. I am looking for a long term relationship, and I have talked to him and told him its ok if he doesnt want a relationship, we can just hang out and be friends, he agreed. Does that mean he was just looking for sex, or a rebound, had I not confessed while I was drunk? If he is, I dont think I can handle that. He invited me to a party that he is throwing next week, how do I face him? Or should I just avoid him completely, he is a really sweet guy, and I dont want to lose him as a friend and yet I cant turn off my feelings for him. Help! Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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thanks kipster, I will definitely try that (complementing other guys in his presense) , but you are right, he is clearly not the one for me, as a good friend once put it, a leopard never changes its spots. And if he does want me back, and if I do decide to go back to him, it will be the same vicious circle, he is a year older than me, but still has a lot of growing up to do. It just still hurts, its been a month now since we broke up. And from the day after we broke up, he acted as if nothing happened. Maybe it was just a act, or he has no heart. Only god knows.
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thanks so much kipster, you always know the right things to say. With this previous relationship, it was more neglect, it felt like he wanted me to live my life on his terms, and if I went out with friends, we would get angry for neglecting him, even though he had nothing planned. He would call me when he felt like it, when I called him or wanted to do something, he said he was busy. I mean after 3 weeks he said he loved me, and wanted to marry me, I told him it was too fast, and then he flat out asked so you are never going to sleep with me. That is when I knew he was after one thing. I think he wants me back now, because he is staring at me at work. Its either he wants me back or he is playing mind games again. I have tried to ignore him and not let it bother me, how do I get past this?
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is there any advice anyone can give me?
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thanks for your advice ash. I just ran into him in the lunch room a couple of days ago, and he gave me a smug smile, I just took my coffee and walked away, made no eye contact. It hurts to know that he doesn't care. I didn't even have his home phone# and after our last fight, I called him at home, and he had the nerve to ask how I got his phone#. (he wasn't answering his cell) then I emailed him and broke it off. Since the official breakup, I have caught him in so many lies, like him going back to school, being busy with his family, etc. You are right he can't give me what I want. I made if perfectly clear to him that I wanted 2 things, more of his time and his love. I didn't get either. Heck he didn't even call me on my birthday. I am just scared as to what will happen when I see or run into him again.
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well just when I was getting my life back together (I ended a serious relationship of 1 year back last november) I got into another relationship. I got a new job and things were going good, then a guy (he works nightshifts at the same place where I work) asked me out, it was good for the first 2 weeks, then he started being distant, I kept calling him and he kept making excuses not to see me, then by the 4th week he wanted to sleep with me, it was too soon. By the 6th week I had enough, I said either you give me some of your timea nd try to make me a part of your life or we are through. that is it, its over. He wasn;t willing to give me the time of day, he only wanted to see me on his terms when he felt like it, so I broke it off. And now I feel so crappy, like I am back to square one. Any advice as to how I can overcome this, I cared for this guy and obvioulsy he was just looking for one thing.
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he wants a break do i deserve this or not?
asia604 replied to oxygen_lsv's topic in Breaking Up Advice
if he wants this break, he obviously has committment issues, and it proves that he isn't committed 100% to you. -
This is for the girls out there, and may or may not pertain to guys, this site helped me out a lot after the first few months of my breakup. I highly recommend it. link removed