modiac

Seems like you have nothing to worry about, except the age/sex issue. Just because she's not jumping your bones doesn't mean she's not into you. I've dated many guys who I really dug, but it took me a while to be comfortable getting intimate. Hey, worst case if this goes on for a while - talk to her about it.

In no particular order: 1. Nice facial features (eyes, smile, etc) 2. Ability to make me laugh 3. Love for intellectual and/or deep conversations

In high school I had a major crush on one of my close friends. He'd just broken up with a girlfriend, and I admitted my feelings. He rejected me. At first, I was a little hurt/embarrassed, but I eventually got over it. You have to if it's someone you regularly hang out with. After a couple of 'healing' days, I started the flirting again and he eventually asked me out. Any other times I was rejected, I bounced back pretty quickly. As I got older, I learned not to make the mistake of being rejected Anyway, I'm sure the reaction to rejection is similar with both sexes...most people have very similar emotions when it comes to that stuff. Some people just hide it better than others.

All the advice I can give is that you need to trust that what he says is true and be more secure about the relationship. I know it's difficult. I used to be that way with my boyfriend, but once I just said "let it go, whatever happens happens," everything got better. To have a healthy relationship, you need lives outside of each other. So while he's living his, you go live yours. Then your insecurities will diminish.

I'm sorry about your unfortunate experiences with alcohol in your family, and can understand why you don't want someone you care about drinking. However, trying to control your girlfriend when it comes to alcohol is not going to help. In high school, I was the same way as her. I never drank and didn't really see the point. Once I went to college, all of that changed. I drank just as much as my friends. It's definitely a phase that she'll probably get through. On the one hand, I can see how you find it disrespectful of her to drink in spite of your issues with it. On the other hand, she shouldn't have to feel guilty about drinking if she wants to. The way I see it, either you have to allow her the freedom to do what she wants (as long as it doesn't get out of control) or give yourself space from her. Maybe you should find someone who doesn't drink so that you're not tearing yourself up over it.

There's no need for you to not hang out with them - I agree with you there. Doing that would just make you appear insecure and immature. If she's not mentioning it anymore, then don't worry about it. You can always keep and eye on her when you're all hanging out and if she pulls anything weird just confront her about it (alone). I know what you mean about kinda friends....one of my friends has a lot of acquaintances but no close friends. It's good to have a lot of people to hang out with, as long as there are a few you're close to. Good luck!

Been through this so many times. Be careful when analyzing a girl's feelings. What you consider flirting, she might consider friendliness. I'm not sure why she would have gotten so mad at you when your friend told her you liked her, but I wouldn't read into her actions too much if I were you. She could be acting flirtatious to make sure you keep liking her, despite the fact that she might not return the feeling. Teenaged girls are like that. They like to be adored (I did at that age). Anyway, good luck - I hope she comes around.

I agree with everything that's been said. If your friend truly values you as a friend, then she would not be pulling this in the first place. According to her "rule" you are doing no wrong. You've already been with him for so long, and she just started having feelings for him. Definitely don't ignore what she's saying. You need to tell her how it makes you feel and make her realize that she's being a bad friend. And don't forget - with friends it's not quantity, it's quality. My best friends are the ones I've known for the shortest time.

Thanks for the replies guys. Mahlina...he had no choice but to invite me to visit his family - he lives at home! But I think you're right - including me with them is a nice thing to do. And I know he's a great guy. I just sometimes wonder about his family. Especially his extended family. They tend to be very controlling and rude sometimes. We do communicate, and he knows how I feel to an extent. I just wanted to see what uninvolved people think. I think what bugs me the most is that he's SO babied by his mother, and she's making no moves to let him be independent. He's not in school - he's almost 25 and working full time. I've worked for two years and am attending grad school in the fall. His mother still does his laundry, makes his lunch, schedules his doctor's appointment....it's pathetic really. I blame it on his Italian roots. I'm just afriad he'll never cut the umbillical cord. Kungfumaster...believe me, I am unlike your ex. If he lived 4 hours from his family, I wouldn't mind their visiting. But he lives within 30 minutes of ALL of his close family, and they are ALWAYS around. I hang out with his sisters every time I'm there. He sees his family constantly. There's a slight difference there. I'm sorry that your ex was so selfish! However, I still appreciate all of your opinions, so thanks!

I figured I'd come here for some unbiased advice.... I've been with my boyfriend for about 2.5 years. The relationship started out great, but now it's getting a little tense. I think it might be mostly due to my own issues, but I want to make sure. My boyfriend still lives at home. I now live at home temporarily but lived in an apartment for the bulk of our relationship. Since we live an hour apart, we alternate weekends at each other's homes. When I'm at his house, I always manage to get irritated by his family (two sisters, mother, father, and extended family all within 15 minutes). I find them selfish and inconsiderate of my relationship with my boyfriend. When we're at his house, his family is constantly harassing us. We never get left alone - half the time his mother invites herself out with us! Then when he's at my place, his family is always calling his cell phone for ridiculous reasons ("my dinner made me sick - how's your stomach?"). Sometimes they even ask him for favors. He claims his family shares and does favors for each other, which is fine. But I feel that he sacrifices himself for them. He's always doing absurd favors that he shouldn't have to do. It's as though he's always on call for his family, and they don't do anything for him. Being around his family irritates me to no end. His uncle smokes in his house despite the fact that we all hate it, yet my boyfriend won't bother to say anything. He'd rather die than disturb the peace. I don't know if I'm being crazy or possessive or what, but I just wish he'd not focus so much on his family and focus more on himself. I'm hoping that when we move in this September, things will change. However, I'm afraid his mom will call him all of the time and he'll go running on home.