Someonesecret Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 Just found out my ex cheated on me. We broke up 1 year ago and now the grief is back. How do I approach this. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 How did you find out? Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 You've been broken up for a year. Why do you care? Link to comment
Billie28 Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 It sounds like perhaps you never grieved the relationship? Have you been clinging onto hopes of reconciliation? What do you mean by how to approach this? Do you still have ties to your ex? A child to him? Link to comment
Clio Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 You approach this as confirmation beyond doubt that you are better off without him and that indeed the break up was the best thing for you. Losing a cheater is a blessing. You can now move on knowing for sure that you lost nobody special and that he was not your one. You also need to approach this as confirmation that keeping tabs on him and digging in the past delays healing and moving on. It's time to delete and block him from your present. As you have discovered, seeking information about him delays healing and brings the grief back. You need to stop acquiring new information and leave him in the past. Good luck. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 How long did you date? How did you find out? Link to comment
smackie9 Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 I get it, it's another blow to your self esteem....the breakup that keeps on hurting. Just process it, and be grateful it ended. Could have been worse, you still with him and finding out he's cheating on you. Good thing this A hole is out of your life. Link to comment
Rose Mosse Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 I can't imagine how painful this, regardless of how much time has passed. I would be shattered also. That time you spent with someone would have been special in its own way and if it was monogamous there's an agreement to be faithful. I can only echo Clio. Keep putting distance between yourself and the past and telling yourself that it's over. What happened then or what continues happen now is not part of your present narrative. It does not define you. What you were then was you but it's not you now and it doesn't define you in the future or how you wish to direct the rest of your life. You can continue to go on and life past all that and enjoy more joyful and rewarding experiences. Link to comment
Lambert Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 However you feel is how you feel. This doesn't change anything. With that said... I tend to look at these types of 'revelations' from the past as further evidence that I was lucky to get out when I did. And to not out too much thought into it. Link to comment
Lambert Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 However you feel is how you feel. This doesn't change anything. With that said... I tend to look at these types of 'revelations' from the past as further evidence that I was lucky to get out when I did. And to not out too much thought into it. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 Hm, OP seems to be a "hit and run" poster. Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted September 23, 2020 Share Posted September 23, 2020 Hm, OP seems to be a "hit and run" poster. I tend to think when that happens people have responded with comments that they didn't want to hear, so they bail. Link to comment
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