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Thread: Lied to my girlfriend about my age..

  1. #1

    Lied to my girlfriend about my age..

    So long history short : I have started dating this beautiful girl 7 months ago that i met on the campus of my college . As the time went on , when she asked my age , I lied telling her Im 22 ( i am 28) , although i look really young hence it worked well. Things have progressed well since then , however I am afraid of when revealing my real age , she might lose part of her interest since perhaps part of her being attracted, aside from other social values such as look ,( i consider myself a good looking guy) lies also on the fact she thinks I'm really young.

    2 main questions: How surprised do you think she is going to be? Also , what kind of discourse , do ladies in the forum would like to hear that would still keep her interested? I am trying to think of a substantial way of implying that i am going to do well after finishing college that would keep her interested. Again , I'm assuming that part of her attraction might lie on this persona that i have created and afraid therefore of losing it when revealing my age and therefore part of my status...

    What is the best way to convey that? I am self-aware that lying was a big mistake but i love her so much and i dont want to lose her..

  2. #2
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    If you love her so much, why lie to her for so long?

    And no, implying that in the future you're going to be making stacks of money wouldn't interest me at all. Unless she's shallow and only interested in what you can buy her, I can't imagine why you think that would make her overlook your very big lie.

    I would conclude you're very insecure and decline to continue dating you.

    BTW, why are you so insecure about your age? It's not like you're old enough to collect Social Security and you're pursuing high school girls.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    I mean it's not like you're 31 lying about being 29 just to say you're in your 20s. It's a pretty big lie to falsely include yourself in her demographic cohort, which many people understandably prioritize. What else is within this "personal you created?"

    The best way is to simply be straight forward. Let her know. Whether she trusts that this is the only lie you've told her will be up to her. And even so, whether she wants to stick with you will also be. Beyond being honest, it's out of your hands, so there's that relative degree of solace.

    In the future, don't lie. Especially about being younger as a guy. A lot of women her age do want a <25 year old as a partner. But a whole lot also don't mind at all dating older. In fact, it's often enough a bonus.

  4. #4
    Thanks for that. I am self-aware that i should not have lied but i think part of the reason I lied lies on the fact that she asked me on the wrong time. We were both coming from a night out , being on a Starbucks at 6am in the morning. I knew that if i was going to tell her the truth , she would be posing several other questions since i do look like 22. Anyways , i just dont want to lose her even though i know i made a big mistake.

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  6. #5
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    Wow, so she should have asked at a better time and not asked any follow up questions that might make you uncomfortable. You sound absolutely not ready to be in a serious relationship.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by phoenixreal1
    Thanks for that. I am self-aware that i should not have lied but i think part of the reason I lied lies on the fact that she asked me on the wrong time. We were both coming from a night out , being on a Starbucks at 6am in the morning. I knew that if i was going to tell her the truth , she would be posing several other questions since i do look like 22. Anyways , i just dont want to lose her even though i know i made a big mistake.
    Sorry, that makes no sense. You had to lie about your age because you were at Starbucks at 6 am? So what if she asked more questions? And how did you KNOW she would have asked you more questions? Why would that be a problem?

    You didn't answer why you're so insecure. Do you think 28 is old or something?

  8. #7
    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Sorry, that makes no sense. You had to lie about your age because you were at Starbucks at 6 am? So what if she asked more questions? And how did you KNOW she would have asked you more questions? Why would that be a problem?

    You didn't answer why you're so insecure. Do you think 28 is old or something?
    Not at all.. It just that i clearly look like 22 and i knew that the moment i was going to say 28 she would be clearly surprised asking more questions about it. Btw , i forgot to mention: In relation to the starbucks moment , its just that i was completely exhausted coming from a night out at 6am in the morning with her , so i guess saying that im 22 was an easy way to get away with it as opposed to telling her the truth and having to reply more questions on those circumstances.. not an smart choice in the long-run i guess ;(...

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    How old is she? Are you both students?
    Originally Posted by phoenixreal1
    I have started dating this beautiful girl 7 months ago that i met on the campus of my college . As the time went on , when she asked my age , I lied telling her Im 22 ( i am 28)

  10. #9
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by phoenixreal1
    Not at all.. It just that i clearly look like 22 and i knew that the moment i was going to say 28 she would be clearly surprised asking more questions about it. Btw , i forgot to mention: In relation to the starbucks moment , its just that i was completely exhausted coming from a night out at 6am in the morning with her , so i guess saying that im 22 was an easy way to get away with it as opposed to telling her the truth and having to reply more questions on those circumstances.. not an smart choice in the long-run i guess ;(...
    I look a decade younger than I am but that doesn't mean I lie. And no one interrogates me.

    I think you were afraid she wouldn't want to date you if you told her your true age. The whole I was too tired to tell the truth thing sounds like an excuse TBH. The bolded part seems to be the real truth.

    Again, why are you insecure about your age?

    All you can do is fess up and hope she doesn't mind that you lied. Maybe she won't mind.

  11. #10
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    How old is she? Are you both students?
    She is 22. She graduated this year while I am going to my final year in college.

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