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Thread: Is there something wrong with me?

  1. #1

    Is there something wrong with me?

    I'm an undergraduate student.
    After my last short-term relationship (not sure if i can even call it that), I just realized that i treat girls like a goddamn video games achievement.

    Believe me, i wasn't doing it on purpose. When i saw an attractive girl, i just couldn't help but flirt, flirt, and flirt. I invested so much time doing that and when she finally starting to show interest in me, i lost interest in her almost immediately. I treated her like she's not even fcking existed.
    I stopped texting and talking to her, and when we accidently met in campus, i don't even make eye contact with her.

    In my head, there's only regret from wasting so much time and effort, and the question "why did i flirt with her again?" always pops up.

    The week after, i found the next attractive girl. And the cyle repeats.

    I found that i really like the adrenaline pump from flirting with girls, it's challenging!
    Heck, given how fast my heart beat, i probably even fell in love with them at the first sight.
    But when i learned that they starting to like me, it stops being fun. That 'love' just completely disappear.

    There's even this one girl that actually asked me out. And i was like "is she fcking crazy?". I completely cut off all contact with her after that.

    So, am i just the typical normal as*hole ? Or do i need to be worried?
    Finding out about this scare the sh*t out of me, but at the same time, being scared about it excites me! I really don't know whether to be scared, or happy.

    F*ck, this is probably just me overreacting.
    I don't even know why i wrote all of this in the first place..

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It sounds like you're too awkward with girls and not ready to date, because when push comes to shove you run away like a scared little kid. You're not an ass because you seem fully aware of what's going on.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Slow down. There may be no harm done now as you're still young. I'm all for good times and testing yourself especially when you're young. If you're not careful though your reputation will catch up with you and people will learn to avoid you (both men and women). You may come across as having an attitude problem or a womanizer. The downfall might be incorporating this as a habit and it being so hard to break over a period of time that you really have difficulty making friends or having any type of relationship (people just don't trust you or like you, period).

    Everything within reason. Have fun.
    Last edited by Rose Mosse; 10-16-2019 at 05:49 PM.

  4. #4
    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    It sounds like you're too awkward with girls and not ready to date, because when push comes to shove you run away like a scared little kid. You're not an ass because you seem fully aware of what's going on.
    Scared? I yearn to be in a long-term relationship. But how do you date someone who you don't even like anymore? When i got close enough with them, they became strangers in my eyes. All the feelings that i felt before just completely disappear.

    Different with girls who's not my love interest tho. I got along pretty well with them. Even one of my very best friends is a girl. She's the one that told me to stop being an a*shole because she's the one that they complained to, not me.


    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    Slow down. There may be no harm down now as you're still young. I'm all for good times and testing yourself especially when you're young. If you're not careful though your reputation will catch up with you and people will learn to avoid you (both men and women). You may come across as having an attitude problem or a womanizer. The downfall might be incorporating this as a habit and it being so hard to break over a period of time that you really have difficulty making friends or having any type of relationship (people just don't trust you or like you, period).

    Everything within reason. Have fun.
    Well I'd hate for that to happen.
    Thanks for the advice!

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    What you are calling "love" isn't love at all, it's just a rush of hormones and adrenaline when you meet someone you are attracted to. Everyone experiences that and yes, it does feel like a high. Literally a rush. It's also....kind of meaningless and short lived as you are finding out.

    You are still young. I don't think you are broken or some such, just a bit immature and inexperienced and probably not really ready for any kind of a serious relationship and.....guess what?....that makes you a pretty normal guy for your age.

    The solution is really simple - date more, get some experience under your belt because that's really the only way to get experience. Date different kinds of girls, focus less on being in a relationship and more just learning and growing from the experience - who you are, what kind of women float your boat and what kind do not, etc. Overall, what wiseman said, you need to get comfortable with women at large and learn that they are just human, just like you.

  7. #6
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    You sound very insecure, immature and you also have trust issues. You cut it off as you are incapable of following through.

    Perhaps, you should seek counseling and leave women alone until you deal with your issues.

  8. #7
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    If you are an Undergrad, you old enough not to be behaving like this. I agree with the girls regarding your behavior. Sorry, but you are acting like a high schooler. Walking by and ignoring them. C'mon.

    Have you always been a big attention seeker?

  9. #8
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    I wonder what you are afraid of? You take it to the brink and then you withdraw. You're a tease and the double standard here is that they call woman that do what you do a rather nasty name. Not sure what label would apply to a guy.

    Maybe you ought to quit the teasing and just concentrate on your school work until you get the courage and desire to do more than just tease.

  10. #9
    Bronze Member MirrorKnight's Avatar
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    No you are not the typical @sshole, the typical @ss would try to get laid before ditching the girl... unless you just missed out that part in your post, which would make a big difference in your "diagnosis".

    If you literally just like the chase, but lose interest as soon as any interest is reciprocated, then yes, something is wrong with you and you should probably seek therapy to understand what is wrong exactly. Anxiety, commitment, abandonment, trust etc... are words that come to mind.

  11. #10
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Some young people aren't ready to fall in love. Don't worry too much about it. It's a phase.

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