Originally Posted by smackie9
How? When you start to see positive life changing progress. Not all therapists are the same. You are the one in the driver's seat to guide them, in what you want to work on/talk about. If things still feel flat, don't hesitate to find a new one. Maybe check their reviews online.

Been online giving advice for years, and one thing I noticed, people who are already in therapy are coming here. That tells me they are unsatisfied with their progress...so I point out, why keep seeing them? Try someone else!

Another very likely possibility, theyíre being told what they donít want to hear.

OPer, youíre being told to leave this toxic relationship by your therapist so you feel they arenít helping you, youíre told by us to leave this toxic relationships now were bullyís.

Whatís the common denominator here?

I promise you, you arenít the first person to claim they canít leave someone because theyíre a narcissist or abusive or whatever. To that I say Iíve worked with women who left abusive men in the middle of the night with nothing but the clothes on their backs, if you truly wanted out, youíd be out. Thatís just the reality. Youíre expecting sympathy because youíre using the Ďabuseí word. But abused or not eventually everyone becomes sick and tired of being sick and tired. The truth is, to me, from what you wrote and how and how you disappear and come back, you donít really want to end the relationship, you come here during your fights and off seasons to cope, then you go right back. So youíre posting is to attempt to get us to help you cope until you go back, you want your therapists to coddle you until youíre ready to go back.

Until you are ready to help yourself, no one else will get through, you have life rafts floating all around you... you have to be willing to swim to one...