7 Days Of No Contact

I really need some words of encouragement. I am 7 days into no contact and my ex has called me every day except yesterday. This morning he sent me a bunch of texts saying he missed me, wanted to see me, and asking if he could come over. It's so hard for me to not give in but nothing is changing and I am just so mentally and emotionally exhausted from the situation. I'm literally drained. Every time I do talk to him or see him, it's straight back to the same crap. He will ignore me until it is convenient for him, he wants everything on his terms, he just treats me like crap. But I feel so bad ignoring him. Ugh.

Why haven't you blocked?

If your complaints are genuine - block.

If your complaints are not genuine and you get off on this drama ( pretty sure this is the case) look within and be brutally honest with yourself.

You SHOULD end contact because he’s playing emotional games with you. But right now you’re just relishing on the fact that he’s chasing you, as you said you know the second you respond he’s gonna ignore you again, the power will have shifted.

It sounds like, as a whole, you’re the one in the power deficit in this power play relationship ( you care more than he does) so use this ego boost and end all contact for good, after the initial pain and withdrawal symptoms pass you will feel so much better

Oh wow - read your previous threads, girl, he’s playing games with you while he’s with his baby mama. You need to do better and block him already.

Also I suspect these threads are about to be closed. You said please don’t be mean I’ve posted here before and people were mean but your only post before you said that had no replies so i think it’s safe to say this is a second account.

This guy cheated on you and went back to his ex. You should be done.

Why do you feel bad after the way he treated you? Doesn't make sense.

He will ignore me until it is convenient for him, he wants everything on his terms, he just treats me like crap. But I feel so bad ignoring him. Ugh.

^

As long as you continue to use this excuse you'll remain on that dead end street. Of course, you already know this...

What is preventing you from blocking him? Because you "feel bad"? Do you think he feels bad when he attempts to cheat on his current girlfriend with you?

Sorry to hear this. 🙁 How long were you dating? What were the reasons for the breakup? What do you want to change? Do you hope to reconcile or hope he "changes"?

Part of no contact is deleting and blocking an ex from all messaging apps and social media. As you can see this is not "no contact" because his pestering is already stressing you out.

I am 7 days into no contact and my ex has called me every day. This morning he sent me a bunch of texts saying he missed me, wanted to see me, and asking if he could come over. It's so hard for me to not give in but nothing is changing and I am just so mentally and emotionally exhausted from the situation.

I think you're not all that mentally/emotionally exhausted from the whole situation or you would have blocked and deleted him by now. What are YOU getting out of the drama that keeps you mired in it? Something is floating your boat about it... is it ego?

Come on, the guy cheated on you! You can't be that desperate to take him back. And who knows, he might have been sleeping with his ex while dating you. You can do better.

Come on, the guy cheated on you! You can't be that desperate to take him back. And who knows, he might have been sleeping with his ex while dating you. You can do better.

He left her for the ex. Absolutely, he was cheating.

I'm really, really struggling to understand why you would 'feel bad' for ignoring somebody who cheated and then abandoned you for somebody else. Why would you even care about how he feels anymore?

I understand what it can be like to feel bad for ignoring someone after they cheated on you. Often times, when people end up in situations like these, they become trained (through their ex's behavior, their own behavior, or the mutually-created relationship dynamic) to give up their own well-being for the sake of something else. Even when knowing otherwise, the brain is hardwired to instill these feelings of guilt. Those feelings shouldn't be there and a goal should be to no longer be subjected to those feelings; however, those feelings are there and they really suck. With time and effort, those feelings can be diminished or removed. I went through that a lot myself. I never liked drama, I never liked feeling bad, and I didn't have much control over my feelings in that regard, but I was aware of that, so I didn't internalize it -- I hope you don't internalize it yourself.

I don't really know anything about your story, but I would wonder if there might be some core factor that contributed to both your feeling like you should feel bad if you stand up for yourself (by ignoring him and not giving in), as well as his choice to cheat.

Now, this is not to say cheating is your fault. It is never your fault to get cheated on. However, it's possible that an unhealthy relationship dynamic was formed with him to begin with where he felt like he could walk over you and do what he wants for his short-term emotional gains at the expense of your well-being, and that if you didn't accept this, you had done something wrong or should feel bad. It is also technically possible that you "like feeling this way deep down", but I find that kind of negative thinking to usually be both wrong and unhelpful. You'll have to look into yourself to try to figure that out. At least for myself, I found analyzing these types of things very beneficial for my own healing and like they have prepared me well for my next relationship.