My boyfriend is on a dating website.

I have done the one thing I promised myself I wouldnt do and I trusted him 100% and never looked through my boyfriends phone until tonight.. Something made me feel like I should so i looked through the history on tje browser and he has been on a dating profile so I went on to it and looked at his profile. His profile on the website says that he has a girlfriend and is only looking for fun for us to get a little wild, which isnt the issue, my issue is I had absolutely no idea he had this profile nor did i know he was messaging and flirting with other women online, nothing sexual but messaging them and complimenting them. This is killing me and I havent said a word that I even know about it because I hate confrontation and I dont want him to know I looked through his phone.. I dont know what to do I finally thought I had found someone that loved and respected me and now its hard to feel good about myself.

Do you want to be in a relationship with a man who is doing this behind your back? Only you can decide your boundaries. Personally, I feel like this is ground for a break-up. Maybe take a break from dating for a bit too to work on self-love. When you're more confident in yourself, you will reject this behavior without a second thought.

Have you posted under another screen name? This sounds familiar to another poster.

Well I'll tell you what I told them, there's no fixing what you did, you can't put the genie back in the bottle, it's up to you to decide if you want to be in a relationship with a cheater.

Thread already exists (below).

https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=551797

I would break up, this is not cool. It's not you - it's him. If he's not capable of being monogamous, he should have told you that. NEXT!!

Snooping is not something I feel like you should make a habit out of, but if you have a gut feeling and genuinely just need to know, I totally get it. You deserve to know. In my opinion you did nothing wrong so you have nothing to apologize for. He on the other hand is scum bag and you should not waste one more minute on him. He cannot be trusted. Say you talk about this and move past it, you will always have this in the back of your mind. Trust is gone! He is not worthy of you. Don’t let him dictate how you feel about yourself. He has the problem, not you.

Should you break up with him? Heck yes! This is not a mature man, this is a reckless man who only cares about himself and his wants and needs.

He has no respect for you or for your feelings. He is a liar and a manipulator.

This type of man can only bring you heart ache. And no one wants to be always looking over their shoulder making sure their jerk of a boyfriend is behaving himself.

It's just better to leave him and find an actual man, one who respects a woman and doesn't play these games.

You deserve better.

I would end it immediately. He will know why.

Also, you don't necessarily have to bring it up that you looked through his phone, you could play the sneak game back at him and say a friend seen him on the dating site... :)

He is cheating on you. Plain and simple. Find someone who you can trust.

I hate confrontation and I dont want him to know I looked through his phone.. I dont know what to do I finally thought I had found someone that loved and respected me

No confrontation necessary. You tell him what you saw, that the two of you are done and there is nothing to dispute.

Yes. . he'll likely have something to say about it, but you choose not to listen.

 

His profile on the website says that he has a girlfriend and is only looking for fun for us to get a little wild, which isnt the issue...

What do you mean it's not the issue, it is exactly the issue! He's cheating!

I actually felt a little sick to my stomach reading this, imagining if I discovered my boyfriend was doing this - and god forbid I ever did, no matter how much it hurt and sickened me, we would be DONE.

I don't really even understand why you created a thread about it; I mean it's just so obvious he can't be trusted and you should end this.

Except for perhaps emotional support because of how difficult it will be to walk away from a man you trusted and whom you thought (mistakenly) cared about you and your relationship, and if that's the case, then please continue posting.

But seriously, I think you should follow reinvent's advice -- tell him what you found and that you are DONE. There is really no justifiable excuse, so not worth even discussing with him.

I am really sorry this happened - god that's just so hurtful and you deserve so much better than that crap!