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Thread: Should I pursue this guy further, or not?

  1. #1
    milly007
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    Should I pursue this guy further, or not?

    We were matched online on August 1 and I initiated contact. I told him I liked his profile and asked how he was doing.

    The next day we exchanged messages online and numbers. He texted me right away just to say that he would like to meet-up as soon as possible, as opposed to relying on texting.

    He asked if I was interested in meeting at a pub near me. He would drive to my area. We only live about 20 minutes apart in a very large city.

    I arrived at the bar first and earlier than I thought I would. It was a Thursday night. He made reservations. When he arrived, we had great conversation and a few laughs. I wasn't sure if I was attracted to him at first, but found that my attraction was growing as the night went on.

    When we parted ways, he seemed concerned that I would be walking home alone at 10:30 at night. He asked if I was okay on my own. I told him I was fine. We hugged and he said that "we would be talking soon".

    When I got home, he sent me text asking if I got home safely and said he really enjoyed meeting me. Also mentioned that he wanted to get together soon. I told him I had a great time, thanked him for the good company, and said we would chat soon.

    On Monday he texted me asking if was available later in the week. I replied the same night morning advising him that I was. Tuesday night he sent me a text saying that he found a great pizza place (second best in the city - he knew I loved pizza) and asked if I approved. I was sleeping at this point, but messaged him Wednesday morning to say it would work.

    Thursday rolled around and he texted me around 9 pm to say that he ended up working late and had to attend a client dinner, and that although he initially mentioned that we could meet later in the week, asked to reschedule for the following Monday or Tuesday.

    I was a bit disappointed, and wish that he let me know sooner. I told him that I had to work late on Monday and Tuesday, so asked him if we could touch base the following week or reschedule for another time. He said, "Sure. I wish you luck!".

    On Sunday I messaged him to see if he was available Wednesday, as I was out with friends on Thursday. He said he was busy but asked if I could on Friday night. I said I could.

    While I was out with my friends on Thursday, he messages to see if I was still available on Friday. Although, my phone died and I couldn't get back to him until later that night when I returned home to charge my phone.

    Friday morning he messaged to say that he was available too and I asked him if 830 was okay for a meeting time. I jokingly mentioned that I needed vegetables since my night out with friends the evening prior was full of poutine and burgers. He then kindly asked if I'd prefer to go to a salad bar instead (as opposed to pizza place). I thanked him, but mentioned that I was good with original plan.

    At about 5 pm, he texted me to say that he was officially on vacation until the day after labour day. I didn't respond because I didn't see a need. We were meeting in a few hours.

    Just before I arrived at the pizza place, he texted me to say that he was "sitting at a table for two on the right", with some pizza emojis. The resto was super packed! We talked and laughed once again and seemed to have a good time, but man was I tired.

    Since he was on vacation, he was travelling out of town the next day to visit his sister, nephew and bro in law to go camping for the week. He had to get home and pack, as he had to be on the road for 8 am.

    By the time we left the resto, it was around 11 pm.

    When we said goodbye, he said it wa good to see me and we gave each other a hug. I told him to have a safe trip and to enjoy his week off.

    He knew I had to work on the weekend, so he told me to not work too hard, and then said "Byyyyyyye Milly" with a smile as we were walking away from each other. Then says, "we'll speak soon".

    This was two weeks ago, and he just would have returned to work last Tuesday after his vacation, which was over one week of camping.

    I haven't heard a word and am a bit disappointed. I was really hoping to hear from him again. He seemed interested and I sensed chemistry/connection. He was a good guy.

    I just need some advice here.

    Would you bother reaching out to him, or should I let sleeping dogs lie.

    Not sure what to do, but trust that if he was interested, he would reach out.

    He's still a match online and hasn't closed me as a match yet - on eharmony). Although I would like him to if he's moving on.

    I'm reluctant to reach out. My friends and mom say they wouldn't.

    I hate this siutuation, as I end up wondering if I did something wrong when we met.

    I'm also wondering if he got frustrated because he was initiating contact more than me?

    I just need advice. Not sure if I should just let it go.

    Any input would be great. Thanks!
    Last edited by milly007; 09-09-2017 at 08:27 PM.

  2. #2
    Batya33
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    I would drop him a quick line "welcome back -hope you had a great vacation -look forward to seeing you soon!"

  3. #3
    HeartGoesOn
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    I'd send a brief message asking how his vacation was. This, more or less leaves the ball in his court where he'll either sink or swim, yet you'll have your answer.

    JMO...

  4. #4
    milly007
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    Quote Originally Posted by Batya33 [Register to see the link]
    I would drop him a quick line "welcome back -hope you had a great vacation -look forward to seeing you soon!"
    Thank you, Batya. I always appreciate your advice. I'm definitely tempted to text, but feel as though I'd be compromising my integrity in the process. This is tough...at least for me.

  5. #5
    Batya33
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    Quote Originally Posted by milly007 [Register to see the link]
    Thank you, Batya. I always appreciate your advice. I'm definitely tempted to text, but feel as though I'd be compromising my integrity in the process. This is tough...at least for me.
    I get it -and you have a good excuse simply to inquire about his trip which he told you all about -yes he will also know that you're doing it because you haven't heard from him but that's ok. My sense is that he met someone else -maybe even on his trip. Sorry!

  6. #6
    milly007
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    Quote Originally Posted by HeartGoesOn [Register to see the link]
    I'd send a brief message asking how his vacation was. This, more or less leaves the ball in his court where he'll either sink or swim, yet you'll have your answer.

    JMO...
    Thank you, HeartGoesOn. I'm trying to get up the nerve to do it.

    Out of curiosity, would you contact if in my shoes?

    Swallowing pride is a difficult task. Actually it feels like more than pride. I feel like I may be compromising my dignity.

    Or maybe I'm over-thinking.

  7. #7
    Helpmesavethis
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    I too see nothing wrong with a hey hope you had a great vacation message... Open or closes the door for you...

  8. #8
    MrFisterZA
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    He may still be settling in from vacation but i agree with the others, I would still drop a line and say something along the lines of ' hope the vacation was good etc'.
    I'm reluctant to reach out. My friends and mom say they wouldn't. i don't think you need to be reluctant to reach out based on what you have mentioned.

  9. #9
    milly007
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    Quote Originally Posted by Helpmesavethis [Register to see the link]
    I too see nothing wrong with a hey hope you had a great vacation message... Open or closes the door for you...
    Thank you, Helpmesavethis.

  10. #10
    milly007
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrFisterZA [Register to see the link]
    He may still be settling in from vacation but i agree with the others, I would still drop a line and say something along the lines of ' hope the vacation was good etc'.
    I'm reluctant to reach out. My friends and mom say they wouldn't. i don't think you need to be reluctant to reach out based on what you have mentioned.
    Thank you, MrFister. Your thought that he's still settling in crossed my mind, too. But at the same time, we haven't communicated in two weeks. I didn't want to message him while he was on vacation and with family. It didn't seem right, considering how we only went out twice.

    I guesss my thought is, if a guy is truly into someone, they'll make an effort to at least communicate and confirm another date.

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