katrina1980 Posted September 10, 2017 Share Posted September 10, 2017 No, he's been back almost a week now, or maybe even longer. Definitely not just a couple days; hence another reason for my reluctance. And thank you. You're very welcome hun and totally get the reluctance given he's been back almost a week. Kinda sucks actually, but if you're gonna reach out, don't wait too long. And try to stay upbeat and positive. And just to know, I would. In fact probably would not have waited this long, would have texted Wed or Thursday, assuming I REALLY liked him. I don't tend to "over-think," I am more spontaneous. I feel like doing something, I just do it. But there are positives and negatives to that, but I take my lumps. Hell I've even double texted! That said, I just went back and read your original post. Two dates, with a hug at the end, no kiss. He ended the second date early, albeit with a reasonable excuse. No text while he was on vacation (understandable I suppose but still), and no txt upon his return. It's iffy at best, your call. Again personally I would, assuming I felt a real connection with him. But I am not afraid to take risks (within reason). I know no matter what happens, I will be okay. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted September 10, 2017 Share Posted September 10, 2017 I don't think he's all that interested. He's been back for nearly a week and you've heard nothing. My guess is that he liked you, but not enough to bother reaching out when his vacation was over and he was back in his regular routine. Link to comment
milly007 Posted September 10, 2017 Author Share Posted September 10, 2017 You're very welcome hun and totally get the reluctance given he's been back almost a week. Kinda sucks actually, but if you're gonna reach out, don't wait too long. And try to stay upbeat and positive. And just to know, I would. In fact probably would not have waited this long, would have texted Wed or Thursday, assuming I REALLY liked him. I don't tend to "over-think," I am more spontaneous. I feel like doing something, I just do it. But there are positives and negatives to that, but I take my lumps. Hell I've even double texted! That said, I just went back and read your original post. Two dates, with a hug at the end, no kiss. He ended the second date early, albeit with a reasonable excuse. No text while he was on vacation (understandable I suppose but still), and no txt upon his return. It's iffy at best, your call. Again personally I would, assuming I felt a real connection with him. But I am not afraid to take risks (within reason). I know no matter what happens, I will be okay. I wish I had your nerve, Katrina. The amount of pride I have to swallow to text him is almost too much for me. I'm just flip-flopping back and forth here. I may just go in and delete him as a match altogether. I'm just hoping he didn't message me when my phone died last Sunday. I actually didn't want him to kiss me after either meet. He's actually extremely reserved and you could say a bit shy too, but not enough not to reach out. Link to comment
milly007 Posted September 10, 2017 Author Share Posted September 10, 2017 I don't think he's all that interested. He's been back for nearly a week and you've heard nothing. My guess is that he liked you, but not enough to bother reaching out when his vacation was over and he was back in his regular routine. Thanks, misscanuck. It hurt to read this, but you may be onto something. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted September 10, 2017 Share Posted September 10, 2017 You were able to meet right quick initially. Then it got to be a lot of trouble back n forth for a second meet/ first date. Then no contact on either side for two weeks. Just seems like weak interest both ways to me. Link to comment
milly007 Posted September 10, 2017 Author Share Posted September 10, 2017 If I reach out, to maybe try and revive this, any ideas on what to say? I was thinking very simple - Hey, how are you? How was the trip? As I'm sending this, I'll be scared...and wondering if I'm kicking a dead horse. Ugh, even if he did reply and we met up again, after reaching out, I think I'd have a hard time looking at him the same way. I'd feel somewhat uncomfortable. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted September 10, 2017 Share Posted September 10, 2017 If I reach out, to maybe try and revive this, any ideas on what to say? I was thinking very simple - Hey, how are you? How was the trip? As I'm sending this, I'll be scared...and wondering if I'm kicking a dead horse. Don't do it if you will be far more upset if you hear nothing. If you can tell yourself and believe that if you hear nothing it's nothing personal then yes, contact him. Link to comment
milly007 Posted September 10, 2017 Author Share Posted September 10, 2017 Don't do it if you will be far more upset if you hear nothing. If you can tell yourself and believe that if you hear nothing it's nothing personal then yes, contact him. Thanks guys. I feel like you've become my buddies through all this. Lol Link to comment
Batya33 Posted September 10, 2017 Share Posted September 10, 2017 I didn't "not contact" because I was afraid to take risks -I just knew for me personally that if a man was sufficiently interested in me he would not want me to be snapped up by another guy and would contact me to make plans in advance to make sure we had a plan (and that included, often, making a plan before a vacation for after the vacation). Lukewarm just wasn't going to work for me. I asked out several men and would have done it more often if, back then, it was an effective way to find a long term relationship potentially leading to marriage. Asking out men was really not a big deal to me, didn't feel risky, just wasn't effective for my goal. Having said that, no harm done to text and ask how his vacation was. Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted September 10, 2017 Share Posted September 10, 2017 milly it's not really about me having "nerve," if I felt as 'off' as you do about it, I may not. But I wasn't there on your dates, I don't know what your connection was like. All I know is that when I feel or felt a good and positive connection with a man, no matter how much times passes, I will reach out. Sometimes it has worked out, sometimes not. Excuse my "french" lol, but shyt happens, you have no idea what's happening with him or his life. And sometimes *I* have shyt going on in my life too. As for him, he may have lost interest, or he was never interested, or something else. It's only been two dates, if you "really" like him, you have absolutely nothing to lose, imo. Even if you get knocked down, you pick yourself up, shake that **** off, and carry on, right? Just don't tell your mom! LOL Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted September 10, 2017 Share Posted September 10, 2017 Don't do it if you will be far more upset if you hear nothing. If you can tell yourself and believe that if you hear nothing it's nothing personal then yes, contact him. I agree with Batya about this. Link to comment
milly007 Posted September 10, 2017 Author Share Posted September 10, 2017 You were able to meet right quick initially. Then it got to be a lot of trouble back n forth for a second meet/ first date. Then no contact on either side for two weeks. Just seems like weak interest both ways to me. Thanks Itsallgrand. We initially met on a Thursday, and planned on meeting up towards the end of the following week. Work got in the way for him and he asked to reschedule for the following Monday. I couldn't meet then, and was a bit bugged that he messaged me late on Thursday evening to reschedule. Late in the week meant Thursday or Friday to me, but I realized it was my fault for not confirming a day/time with him earlier on. I messaged him on Sunday though to meet up on Wednesday, but he said he could meet up Friday, which is when the second meet happened. Link to comment
milly007 Posted September 10, 2017 Author Share Posted September 10, 2017 I didn't "not contact" because I was afraid to take risks -I just knew for me personally that if a man was sufficiently interested in me he would not want me to be snapped up by another guy and would contact me to make plans in advance to make sure we had a plan (and that included, often, making a plan before a vacation for after the vacation). Lukewarm just wasn't going to work for me. I asked out several men and would have done it more often if, back then, it was an effective way to find a long term relationship potentially leading to marriage. Asking out men was really not a big deal to me, didn't feel risky, just wasn't effective for my goal. Having said that, no harm done to text and ask how his vacation was. Thanks Batya. Still mulling over what I'm going to do. Link to comment
milly007 Posted September 10, 2017 Author Share Posted September 10, 2017 Just don't tell your mom! LOL So funny! Link to comment
milly007 Posted September 10, 2017 Author Share Posted September 10, 2017 Well, I texted folks. I feel like I'm going to pass out. Lol Link to comment
milly007 Posted September 10, 2017 Author Share Posted September 10, 2017 I'm also in the midst of setting up meets with other guys online. It's all good. Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted September 10, 2017 Share Posted September 10, 2017 I'm also in the midst of setting up dates with other people. ^This is good! BTW, what did your txt say? Link to comment
milly007 Posted September 10, 2017 Author Share Posted September 10, 2017 ^This is good! BTW, what did your txt say? A very simple text - "Hey, how was your vacay?" Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted September 10, 2017 Share Posted September 10, 2017 A very simple text - "Hey, how was your vacay?" OMG, I'm nervous for you! Seriously, my heart just started beating faster, not kidding. Lol Let us know when he texts back! Please! Link to comment
milly007 Posted September 10, 2017 Author Share Posted September 10, 2017 OMG, I'm nervous for you! Seriously, my heart just started beating faster, not kidding. Lol Let us know when he texts back! Please! You're supposed to be the calm, cool and collected one! Lol Link to comment
milly007 Posted September 10, 2017 Author Share Posted September 10, 2017 I feel like I'm going to be sick. Jeeez. Ugh, emotions. Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted September 10, 2017 Share Posted September 10, 2017 I feel like I'm going to be sick. Jeeez. Ugh, emotions. Can you tell if/when he read it? Link to comment
milly007 Posted September 11, 2017 Author Share Posted September 11, 2017 Can you tell if/when he read it? No, I can't. He's a very proud person too, so i wouldn't be surprised if I don't hear from him until tomorrow; that's if I hear anything at all. Who knows what's going through his mind. If he only knew the amount of courage and the extent of tummy aches behind this text I sent. I know his bedtime is around 10:30, lol based on what he told me, due to early work hours. Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted September 11, 2017 Share Posted September 11, 2017 No, I can't. He's a very proud person too, so i wouldn't be surprised if I don't hear from him until tomorrow; that's if I hear anything at all. I know his bedtime is around 10:30, based on what he told me, due to early work hours. What time is it now? I'm in southern Cali, it's only 5:10 pm. Have a glass of wine maybe? Lol Link to comment
milly007 Posted September 11, 2017 Author Share Posted September 11, 2017 What time is it now? I'm in southern Cali, it's only 5:10 pm. Have a glass of wine maybe? Lol I texted him at 7:10 pm, but it's 8:18 pm now. I feel good that I did this, because I'll know either way, I think. Link to comment
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