RonChalant Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 So I'm talking to a girl that I am Super attracted to. We laugh and joke here and there for the most part, but she overall is boring as hell. Been on a few dates and they go decently enough, she always says she had fun, always is ready to hang out again...but when we do I feel like I have to lead conversations. I'm not a super talkative person but I can fake it pretty well...shr answers my questions and all but, and will have random follow up questions, but again it's me doing all the work I feel. On top of that she has no sense of adventure...in order to have a little more fun on our dates I suggested we go to the gun range, she came but would barely shoot, suggested me go jetskiing, said she would never do that, there have been a few more things she said she just won't do and I'm just sitting there like....oooook. Problem is I'm attracted as hell to her physically, just don't have much in common I guess which sucks. I feel like we have better conversations via text than in person but how can you get anywhere with that type of dynamic? Link to comment
Keyman Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 You both are not compatible in your eyes. Let her down easy and go date someone more in line with what you are looking for. There are plenty of adventure girls out there, go find yourself one of those. Link to comment
Andrina Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 It's not like she's the only girl in the world who you could be super attracted to. Go find one who you can have a great time with. Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 Do you only associate with her because she's good looking? That's very shallow of you if it's the truth. Find someone else. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 Find an out doors kind of girl. Lots out there. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 There are plenty of super hot super attractive women who are also adventurous and have more of a personality that you would actually get along with better. Why on earth would you settle for less. This is a total no brainer - stop wasting time on this chic so you can spend that time finding someone who actually rocks your world in every respect. Link to comment
RonChalant Posted June 13, 2017 Author Share Posted June 13, 2017 Do you only associate with her because she's good looking? That's very shallow of you if it's the truth. Find someone else. Is it so wrong to be shallow sometimes. Recently out of a 5 year relationship so not looking for anything serious by any means which she is aware of...isnt this the little bit of time I am "allowed" to be shallow? Ehh either way I think I am going to take everyone's advice...hell boredom never been a friend of mine let me tell you. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 Is it so wrong to be shallow sometimes. Recently out of a 5 year relationship so not looking for anything serious by any means which she is aware of...isnt this the little bit of time I am "allowed" to be shallow? Ehh either way I think I am going to take everyone's advice...hell boredom never been a friend of mine let me tell you. lol....flings are supposed to be fun, not work man...... Link to comment
RonChalant Posted June 13, 2017 Author Share Posted June 13, 2017 lol....flings are supposed to be fun, not work man...... Very true, you just hit the nail on the head...thanks for that Link to comment
Hollyj Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 So I'm talking to a girl that I am Super attracted to. We laugh and joke here and there for the most part, but she overall is boring as hell. Been on a few dates and they go decently enough, she always says she had fun, always is ready to hang out again...but when we do I feel like I have to lead conversations. I'm not a super talkative person but I can fake it pretty well...shr answers my questions and all but, and will have random follow up questions, but again it's me doing all the work I feel. On top of that she has no sense of adventure...in order to have a little more fun on our dates I suggested we go to the gun range, she came but would barely shoot, suggested me go jetskiing, said she would never do that, there have been a few more things she said she just won't do and I'm just sitting there like....oooook. Problem is I'm attracted as hell to her physically, just don't have much in common I guess which sucks. I feel like we have better conversations via text than in person but how can you get anywhere with that type of dynamic? So, she does not enjoy the gun range - don't know many people who would - and jet skiing. How about coming up with something both parties can enjoy. Sounds like it is all about your interests. You are way too shallow for her. I feel sorry for her, to be dating someone like you. Do her a favor and lose her number. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 Is it so wrong to be shallow sometimes. Recently out of a 5 year relationship so not looking for anything serious by any means which she is aware of...isnt this the little bit of time I am "allowed" to be shallow? Ehh either way I think I am going to take everyone's advice...hell boredom never been a friend of mine let me tell you. Grow up! Shallow has a negative connotation. Look it up. you are also bad mouthing her. You are simply using her. What does that say about you! Does she know this is only about her looks and sex? Link to comment
s0fly Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 If you're not looking for anything serious, isn't sexual chemistry more important? If you're looking for someone that you have more in common with that kinda sounds like you want the whole package AKA a girlfriend. Just have fun in bed.. Link to comment
Titanll Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 Is it so wrong to be shallow sometimes. Recently out of a 5 year relationship so not looking for anything serious by any means which she is aware of...isnt this the little bit of time I am "allowed" to be shallow? Ehh either way I think I am going to take everyone's advice...hell boredom never been a friend of mine let me tell you. What is the definition of shallow anyway? I'm probably very shallow if it means being physically attracted to my SO. But then, I don't concern myself with other's opinions of how I am. I say keep on dating this woman. Could be that you will stumble upon some mutual interests or maybe she's a little guarded for some reason. Certainly, if you meet someone else, go for it but until then I say there's nothing wrong continuing to date this boring woman. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 What is the definition of shallow anyway? I'm probably very shallow if it means being physically attracted to my SO. But then, I don't concern myself with other's opinions of how I am. I say keep on dating this woman. Could be that you will stumble upon some mutual interests or maybe she's a little guarded for some reason. Certainly, if you meet someone else, go for it but until then I say there's nothing wrong continuing to date this boring woman. He is only with her for her appearance. He does not like her personality. That is shallow. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 shallow adj 1 having little depth 2 lacking intellectual or mental depth or subtlety; superficial Link to comment
DancingFool Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 OK, no need to attack the OP. He is not looking for a relationship, she knows this. They are both adults and nobody is a victim here. If he thinks she is too boring even for a fling, that's his prerogative to end things and spend his energy elsewhere or stick to sex only as they both please. Nobody's business to judge their choices and decisions, let alone berate the OP for being attracted to someone he thinks is an attractive person. Whether the physical attraction is enough or not, is for the OP to decide and it doesn't make him shallow. Quite the opposite, he is here because he is realizing that physical attraction is not enough. If we are even remotely honest, we don't start talking to someone because they are so gosh darn intelligent, we start talking to them first because we think they are attractive, the rest, the substance follows and it's either there or not. The OP is finding out that not much is there for him. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 OK, no need to attack the OP. He is not looking for a relationship, she knows this. They are both adults and nobody is a victim here. If he thinks she is too boring even for a fling, that's his prerogative to end things and spend his energy elsewhere or stick to sex only as they both please. Nobody's business to judge their choices and decisions, let alone berate the OP for being attracted to someone he thinks is an attractive person. Whether the physical attraction is enough or not, is for the OP to decide and it doesn't make him shallow. Quite the opposite, he is here because he is realizing that physical attraction is not enough. If we are even remotely honest, we don't start talking to someone because they are so gosh darn intelligent, we start talking to them first because we think they are attractive, the rest, the substance follows and it's either there or not. The OP is finding out that not much is there for him. Do you think she knows that he thinks she is boring, and is only with her because she is hot? Even if the situation is casual, I would be hurt if I were involved in this dynamic. He simply has to move on, if he is looking for fun and casual. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 Do you think she knows that he thinks she is boring, and is only with her because she is hot? Even if the situation is casual, I would be hurt if I were involved in this dynamic. He simply has to move on, if he is looking for fun and casual. No I wouldn't be offended or hurt if I went out on some dates or had a brief fling with a guy and he ended things because he didn't think we really click personality wise. Not being compatible doesn't speak poorly for either person and there is nothing to be offended about. Not like you can't sense yourself the stifled conversation and that easy going fun spark lacking, but hey you both scratched an itch and maybe it was better than nothing for the time being. You are both responsible for the choices you are making individually. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 Compatible is one thing, but having someone think I am a bore and simply sticking around for sex is another. I have dated guys where there was no chemistry, but ended up being good friends. Link to comment
RonChalant Posted June 13, 2017 Author Share Posted June 13, 2017 First let me say...I am LOVING all the hate mail lol. Everyone is the slightest bit shallow, we all try to interact with people we find attractive, that's how things work. I'm wrong for that apparently lol? I've asked on MULTIPLE occasions, what do "you" like to do to which the answer is always "I don't know, nothing really" so how can I do anything but try to see if she might like any of my hobbies...that makes me only worried about what I like...lol you guys kill me with some of your statements but again I love it. Also never said I didn't like her personality, she's a sweet girl just doesn't do much...HollyJ, I'm new here but I guessing you're the neighborhood troll from what I can tell. Either way like I said I've pretty much decided to ghost on her so that should please the lot of you. DancingFool seems to be my only friend lol Link to comment
Hollyj Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 If they were simply meeting up for booty calls, then that would be one thing. But, they are going on actual dates; therefore, it is a different dynamic. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 No I wouldn't be offended or hurt if I went out on some dates or had a brief fling with a guy and he ended things because he didn't think we really click personality wise. Not being compatible doesn't speak poorly for either person and there is nothing to be offended about. Not like you can't sense yourself the stifled conversation and that easy going fun spark lacking, but hey you both scratched an itch and maybe it was better than nothing for the time being. You are both responsible for the choices you are making individually. But, he is conflicted because she is hot. This is my point. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 First let me say...I am LOVING all the hate mail lol. Everyone is the slightest bit shallow, we all try to interact with people we find attractive, that's how things work. I'm wrong for that apparently lol? I've asked on MULTIPLE occasions, what do "you" like to do to which the answer is always "I don't know, nothing really" so how can I do anything but try to see if she might like any of my hobbies...that makes me only worried about what I like...lol you guys kill me with some of your statements but again I love it. Also never said I didn't like her personality, she's a sweet girl just doesn't do much...HollyJ, I'm new here but I guessing you're the neighborhood troll from what I can tell. Either way like I said I've pretty much decided to ghost on her so that should please the lot of you. DancingFool seems to be my only friend lol No trolling, just speaking the truth. I too, date people I am attracted to. But, I do not continue to date, if I do not care for their personality, for the sole purpose of getting them into bed. So, now you are going to ghost her. You are a real standup guy. What not do the decent thing, and tell her that things aren't working out. Link to comment
s0fly Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 Why don't you just meet for booty calls OP? Going on dates with someone whom you have nothing in common with is a waste of both your time. Stick to having fun in bed if it's just based on physical attraction.. Link to comment
akrngrl Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 Is this the same girl as your last thread? Short answer to your question OP is you can't. She's a homebody and you're not. That doesn't make her "boring as hell" that makes you two incompatible. ...and ghosting her is a terrible thing to do-if it's only been a small number of dates, but more than the initial meet a quick text is sufficient I think, but full out disappearing/ignoring her if she reaches out to you is the lowest of low. Link to comment
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