Roommate issues

There has been a lot of conflict between my roommate and I, she refuses to do anything and sits at home all day. I am a full time college student, and I work full time, when I come home, cleaning or doing any chores is the last thing on my mind, but my roommate won't even do little things like take out the trash, she just let's the trash pile up until it's an unstable pile and then she sets her trash on the stove. I had calmly talked to her about cleaning before and it was like I wasn't even talking to her. Things escalated between her and I and one night we got into a screaming match at midnight because she had left her groceries in the middle of the kitchen floor for a day and a half, so I put them in her room and she was mad at me for that. Our argument resulted in her calling her mom, who came over with her sister and her mom got in my face and was yelling at me as I was trying to calmly explain to her that I just wanted everyone to do their part and her daughter wasn't doing hers.

Ever since our fight, she got worse....

She has this nasty habit of sleeping in the living room despite the fact that I have asked her countless times not to because on the mornings I go to school, I would like to sit in my living room, open up a window, and watch TV while I eat my breakfast; she has the better bedroom, and has the living room set up like it's her bedroom, she has pillows and blankets out there, and she leaves the TV on all night because she has to sleep with a TV on and I told her that this could ruin the TV.

She had a friend who used to invite himself over, he would literally just come over and let himself in and act like he owns the place and when I brought it up to my roommate, she told me that it was my job to tell him that I didn't want him over as much (he was coming over every day) because she didn't have the problem with it. The friend and I settled on: He will knock before entering, and he won't come over every day...both quickly changed.

Someone was caught pirating on my WiFi and when I confronted my roommate and her friend, both denied it but I haven't seen her friend since.

I know she has been going into my room while I'm not there, so I need to put a lock on my door...which is sad.

She helps herself to my alcohol, and won't replace any of it because she "Has no money".

I have had to clean feces and blood off the toilet seat because she just doesn't clean up after herself.

I didn't think that what I was asking was unreasonable, but she really thinks I am some sort of evil tyrant.

She has been opening my mail and not telling me that I even have mail, so I have been late on 2 bills already.

I'm tempted to just report her for opening my mail, and taking my TV out of the living room and putting it in my room, because she won't respect anything I say, so now all I have left is action...

Can I get some guidance here? I spend as little time at home as possible, and when I'm at home I hide in my room the whole time so I don't interact with her. This is no way to live....

that's a proper nightmare!

where do you both rent? is this a dorm or are you renting a place off campus?

can you talk to the landlord about this?

someone needs to move out.

eta: report the mail thing. that's serious business. maybe pay for a PO box until one of you has moved out?

Until you have found another living arrangement yes I would TOTALLY move your TV out of the living room, lock your doors ALWAYS when you are away, and report her for openeing your mail. People like this dont listen to words but maybe they'll listen to action. What a crappy excuse for a human being, if I were living with someone like that i'd have put my foot down LONG ago, and done everything I could to kick her out / move somewhere else. PLEASE dont do this to yourself any longer.

I agree with Bunney. Also if she wants to sleep in the living room, fine but when you get up go about your business- do lights/tv, whatever you need to do because that's your area too and if you are up in the morning you can use the room too. Nice of you to tiptoe around but she has a room and can go in there to get more sleep.

What is the rental agreement?

Are you financially liable for her bad habits (deposits etc)?

@Raggie- She and I are both financially liable for her bad habits (She put 3 holes in the wall when moving in) so there is no way I am getting the deposit back. The rental agreement was a standard rental agreement, but we had a roommate agreement that we had to sign too and I had told my Landlord about the issues and how my roommate isnt doing her share , he informed me that there is not a whole lot he can do as far as that goes because the company doesnt see us as individuals, but one whole entity so we would both get in trouble.

I also left out the part where she left me her share of the rent in the kitchen under a hammer that is usually in the hallway closet, and she was short on what she owes me because we split electricity and internet, so she has to give me $400 a month, and all she gave me was $340, which is $10 less than her half of the rent. By leaving it under the hammer, it felt like a threat not to ask about the rest.

@RainyCoast: We live in an apartment

Rather than talk to the landlord about nonissue such as not getting along or being messy, talk about getting out of the lease. Start looking for a replacement and move out asap.

Until then keep all your belongings in your room or move important things elsewhere. Why leave tvs, booze, etc lying around then complain? Have your mail forwarded to parents. Do your bills online.

Rather than talk to the landlord about nonissue such as not getting along or being messy, talk about getting out of the lease. Start looking for a replacement and move out asap.

 

Until then keep all your belongings in your room or move important things elsewhere. Why leave tvs, booze, etc lying around then complain? Have your mail forwarded to parents. Do your bills online.

They were left out because she had never touched my alcohol before now, then she has friends come over and starts to 'show off' for them. The TV was left because its supposed to e a living room, she and I were friends before all this.

Put all of your belongings and alcohol into your room. I would forward all your mail to a PO box too. Talk to the landlord about subletting your part of the lease. If he agrees, find someone desperate, get that s__t signed, and leave.

Update

I had tried to report my roommate for opening my mail and was basically told that once the mail is in my apartment, then theres nothing they can do because my roommate lives there too.

The problems with her not taking trash out is still an ongoing issue, we missed trash day because she didnt help out with the trash while I was gone. Currently every trash can in the house is overflowing, and we have a bag of rat feces in the hall that has been there for about a week now.

There are so many dishes that need to be done and none of them are mine because I have been washing my dishes right after I use them, she keeps half eaten food in her dishes to basically rot, we have a molded bowl of spaghetti ohs that she just left on the counter. All of the dishes are mine, I am tempted to take them and put them in my room after I wash them...if it comes down to me having to wash them.

Our rats had to go to the vet because they got sick, she told me it would be $100 and refused to help make a payment because she "has no money" and I had said that I would pay for things for the animals...despite not having money I found out later that she bought a $40 bong, 2 concert tickets that ran for about $36.50 a piece, a new $40 keyboard, and a poster.

What are you doing to move out?

And yes, put your dishes in your room and lock it. Get a PO box and forward your mail to it. She can't open it then.

At this point, if I were to move out I would have to either:

Get off the lease early and pay the fee because I was supposed to be on it for a year, and even then I cant leave until I find a replacement.

or

Get my roommate to sign a paper saying that we are both in agreement that I should get off the lease, and also have to find my replacement.

I doubt my landlord will let me off the lease without charging me a fee, but I am going to talk to him again and see what he says.

Yeah talk to him about getting off the lease and finding someone else. Clean up the apartment well beforehand and start looking online for someone messy and desparate.