Hooked Up with a Coworker - Now What?

Hi everyone - I'm hoping that at least one person who reads this will be able to give me some helpful advice. Before that advice can be given, I clearly need to give some background info so please bear with me as it'll be lengthy.

I am a 24 year old female that works for an insurance company. The company I work for is a very young company and in my department I mainly work with 23-40 year olds. I have 3 really good male coworkers that are in the same position as me in the same department that I'm always with - we always go to lunch together and are always going meetings together. Of those 3 men, one of them (lets call him Bob) is single and within the last couple weeks I've found myself flirting with him more and starting to become attracted to him.

Last week Friday, Bob invited me and another coworker over to his place for a small party. I went there and it was a lot of fun. I definitely wanted something to happen but I didn't think anything would since I don't really think I'm his type and I only know him and how he acts at work. But I couldn't have been more wrong -we ended up drunkenly hooking up (no sex because, unfortunately, it was that time of month). It was a lot of fun and I had no regrets at the time and I still don't.

It's been a week since it happened, where the work week started off a little awkward, but eventually got better near mid week. However, I don't know how he feels about the situation. To this day, we have not talked about what happened that Friday night. I honestly would love to do it again and maybe even see if a relationship can stem from this. But since I don't really know him super well, I don't know if this was just another casual hookup for him and nothing more.

One week from that night, I texted him the following: "I know you said you didn't have set plans this weekend, but would you want to hang out at some point? Idk about you but I had fun last Friday and figured I'd ask - no pressure one way or the other. Or you and your friends could meet me and my friends out in downtown saturday night" and all he replied with was "I think I am going out to lakewood tonight for a friend's birthday".

So with everything above - should I just assume his lack of reaching out to me and his response, that he wants nothing to do with me outside of work? I would love to just ask him if it's ever going to happen again, but I don't want to seem like all I want is sex/a hookup relationship. But I'd be okay if he told me it was nothing, I just want to know! But since I don't know and I would like to see if anything could come of it, do I keep trying to see if he wants to hang out or just give up and move on?

do nothing. if he wanted to, he had plenty of opportunity to pursue it.

i think the emphasis here is drunken hookup. sober bob doesn't sound interested.

I would take his response as a definite no.

He didn't say he enjoyed it, he didn't say he'd like to meet up. Those are the things he would have said if he was interested.

I would leave things be at this point. The ball is in his court now that you've reached out to him. I wouldn't text him again. If he texts you and wants to hang out again, great. If he doesn't, I think you will know where you two stand. Be careful here OP. Getting involved with a co-worker could be messy. Proceed with extreme caution.

"Give up and move on" (imo).

He probably thought twice about the potential consequences of getting involved with a co-worker. It can make for an extremely awkward working environment, if/when things go south.

My guess is you dodged a bullet.

It sounds like at some level you do know, but were hoping for a better outcome. Try to be professional and friendly at work and forget it happened.

I just want to know

Thank you everyone, I kind of figured but just as wiseman2 said, I was hoping for something better and that I was wrong. Ohh well - thanks again for reading and giving advice!!!!

You go back to being politely professional, hope he doesn't brag about you at the water cooler, and learn this very harsh lesson on why dating and/or having sex with coworkers is a terrible idea. I lost an entire profession, not just a job, doing that. Seriously, I say don't do it.

He did a drunken hookup and he'll only be back around when he wants more drunken hookups with you. And if you don't want to be known as the office bicycle I would say please take a serious pass on this guy. His intentions and lack of interest in you beyond the physical couldn't be more apparent.

And I'm not being harsh, I'm giving you a heads up about office politics and why sleeping with anyone in the office is just a terrible idea period. Date outside the office. It just saves so much wear and tear and lets you get ahead career-wise a whole lot easier.

One week from that night, I texted him the following: "I know you said you didn't have set plans this weekend, but would you want to hang out at some point? Idk about you but I had fun last Friday and figured I'd ask - no pressure one way or the other. Or you and your friends could meet me and my friends out in downtown saturday night" and all he replied with was "I think I am going out to lakewood tonight for a friend's birthday".

 

So with everything above - should I just assume his lack of reaching out to me and his response, that he wants nothing to do with me outside of work? I would love to just ask him if it's ever going to happen again, but I don't want to seem like all I want is sex/a hookup relationship. But I'd be okay if he told me it was nothing, I just want to know! But since I don't know and I would like to see if anything could come of it, do I keep trying to see if he wants to hang out or just give up and move on?

Yeah, sounds like a lack of interest. Sorry

Guessing games are so annoying!