Had a threesome with best friend

I had a threesome with my best friend (who I've known for almost all my life - childhood friend) and this guy she has a hook up relationship with. We had a few drinks to break the ice. It started out good but this guy was all over me and kissing me and paying attention to me only. I tried involving her but I had no idea what to do or how to handle this.. She ended up walking out and leaving her apartment. I feel so bad. We talked about it before about how there would be no jealousy. I'm thinking this guy had her before, so of course he was paying more attention to me at first. I feel bad about it and I don't want to loose her as a friend over this. Also this was ALL her idea. So I'm kind of just stuck in the middle

Have you talked to her about why she walked out, what she was feeling and asked her what you could have done to prevent her feeling that way?

You should be going to her about this because anything we tell you will just be speculation and won't do a thing to rectify. Perhaps she was more upset with him then you.

BTW: Dumb idea doing that with a friend and HER fb. They should have brought a stranger into the mix and kept you out of their bed.

Wow my friends never did that for me. I need to start finding a different breed of friends.

As to your situation, while it is her problem you may want to try and be the one to mend fences. It would be a nice gesture.

she won't talk to me i've tried

she won't talk to me i've tried she's being very immature for someone who pretends to want things that she's not ready for.

 

Is she one of those that thinks she can handle a FB dynamic but really can't and has feelings for him? If she is now she's in even deeper in her posery by pretending that she can handle sharing him.

Doesn't sound like much of a threesome, more like watch me f your guy. Why didn't you stop it?

I'm thinking this guy had her before, so of course he was paying more attention to me at first

Buying a boat, dating a stripper, and having a threesome are near the top of my list of things that are almost always better in fantasy than reality. Fantasies never have negative repercussions; reality does.

we had sex for about a minute, she walked out and then me and this guy stopped and tried to figure out what to do. terrible experience lol

Why not get your own one-on-one bf?

after a minute of having sex after she walked out i stopped in and we just sat there trying to figure out what to do.... really bad experience. lol

Unfortunately if she doesnt want to talk nothing you can do.

I agree that most often, these things are better left fantasys. Very few people are actually cut out to deal with all the dynamics involved in a swingers lifestyle

Dont blame yourself, all the blame is on her and her bf. They wanted this and he didnt show her enough attention. It's not up to you.

I guess some people have to learn the hard way that they are monogamous. Now she feels like her best friend cheated with her boyfriend. It may drive a wedge between all three. Well, at least you learned a lesson I guess, sorry.

I'm saying this, you need to let her have time to cool off. And she may never, because my read on this is she never really wanted a threesome to begin with. I'll go out on a psychic limb here (I'm not, but I am experienced in the ways of the world which is actually better) and say she likely has fallen hard for her FWB and thought giving in to his desires would "win" him over to her. When that didn't happen she of course got very upset and stormed out.

Now she's embarrassed and hurt and is taking it out on you. It may also be the guy is now talking only about you and giving her an even harder time to get you back for him, so yeah she's chosen the mister over the sister. Which is a crappy thing to do and not your fault.

If you feel it would help I would send one text/email message to her telling her, "I had no idea how you felt about this guy or I would never have agreed to a threesome. And you shouldn't have either, because if he cared about you at all he would not have pushed you into that. I'm sorry you got hurt. I don't care about or for the guy at all, I miss my friend. I'm here if you want to talk, but this was not something I asked for and would have agreed to had I known it was not 100 percent consensual on your part."

You send that, then you go on about your life. Sooner or later she may realize she was pushed into something she couldn't handle, then miss you. Or maybe she doesn't ever accept her own part in this and you two part ways. I cannot predict that. All I can tell you is it isn't your fault and she clearly was not as on board with the whole thing, and she's not just in an FWB on her side anyways, or she wouldn't have gotten upset.

I don't think either of you predicted this was how it would go, but now that it is all you can do is let her process it and come to you if she will. I'm sorry this happened to both of you, she should not have put you in that position or herself either if it truly wasn't what she wanted. And I'd say judging by her reactions it wasn't.

Doesn't sound like much of a threesome, more like watch me f your guy. Why didn't you stop it?

It actually sounds to me more like a, "Watch me f your best friend." It sounds like the OP was on the receiving end of his moves, and he was the one ignoring his regular hook-up woman. The OP tried to involve the other woman, but was very inexperienced in this sort of thing, it sounds like. It does sound like they stopped immediately after the best friend walked out, which was apparently also immediately after the OP and the guy began intercourse. My gut is that this threesome idea came from the guy, and his f buddy agreed to it reluctantly. I think he wanted to live out a threesome fantasy, and wanted to get into your pants.

This is a good cautionary tale about threesomes and being clear on what you REALLY want. It puts the "painful reality" meat on the "awesome fantasy" bones.

I am so sorry that you two are estranged, and I feel terrible for the two of you.

What an unwise, sad ending to a good relationship.

Paris Paulette, I wrote my post before reading yours. You articulated far better everything I was trying to say, and many things I hadn't thought of.

I continue to be impressed by how brilliantly you capture and express the essentials of ENA's OPs' issues, and the advice you give for their next steps.

Any chance you'd make an exception to your no PM rule for me? I have something about which I would really love your input.

Youareworthy

Buying a boat, dating a stripper, and having a threesome are near the top of my list of things that are almost always better in fantasy than reality. Fantasies never have negative repercussions; reality does.

Pure Gold.

There's really nothing you can do unless and until she decides to talk to you.

It was a very silly move on her part to even suggest involving you. I have participated in this kind of activity before and would never ask a close friend to be our third party. It's far too risky for the friendship.

If you've already attempted to make amends with her and it's not working, you just need to give her time and space. She might come around, or this might be the end of the friendship.

Personally, I'm glad I never had to cross that bridge. One is enough for me.