This place has really helped me

I was with my ex for almost two years. We got together two months after I separated from my ex husband. I was hesitant at first but he was so much fun and we just clicked so I couldn't help liking him. Our relationship got weird though and it became more of a friendship than a real relationship, we turned to each other during bad times and had a lot of fun in our own little world when we were together. But sometimes he'd disappear for a few days and say he had a lot on his mind and he didn't want to keep bringing me down with his issues. Every time I would get upset he would say sorry and try harder but he always would pull away and come back after awhile. But this last time feels like the end because it's been five months and I figured out he blocked me on his phone. I told him I never wanted to see him again because I was tired of him and his mood swings cancelling dates when he's upset about something. He said he was sorry for the way he was and that he wouldn't bother me anymore. i told him I really loved him and I really appreciated everything he did but I couldn't take it anymore. I texted him once after a week asking to talk but no reply. I called twice within a week of each other and no answer. So I decide to just do NC. On the 30th day I leave a coupon for him on his car that I took because I didnt want him to lose it and I said sorry for taking it. No reaction. Then another 30 days and I texted him asking again to talk but he doesnt reply. I figured out he blocked me by testing it out. I haven't tried to contact him any other way because we're not friends on any social media we mostly communicated via phone. A month ago I sent him a nice letter about how I really felt about him and still no reaction. This will sound stupid but I still want him back and I still hope, but I know it probably will not happen. I love him so much. I wanted so badly for him to be the one and he even said he wanted the same thing. It's been five months so I feel better than the first few months, i was so heartbroken and I just avoided being idle and worked as much as I can grabbing extra shifts and keeping busy. But I feel like some people just imprint on your soul and you can't do anything about it. Just wanted to share my story and I'm sorry it isnt a happy one. i just hope that hes happy and doing well and I'm sad I lost a seat in his life but he will always be special to me.

He imprinted on your psyche because you got together with him much too soon after your separation. His inconsistent behavior should have been a huge red flag, it you ignored it rather than face being alone. As he has blocked you and disappeared, I would remove the rose colored glasses and see him for who he really was....not who you wanted him to be.

Honey,

This place has helped me as well. I realize that I am better 4 months later, but I still have a ways to go. Like you, my ex refuses to communicate. There isn't much you can do with that. I have tried casually to communicate and I have been shutdown each time.

It is hard to let someone you love go. I don't know how some people just turn that off and on. Like you, I still hope for another chance someday. That's what hard to let go. I have made a deal with myself that I refuse to pine away. I will live and have fun and leave open the door. I don't have to give her up all at once. Slowly, as I am ready. Time to focus on me. I wish her happiness and I hope there is both happiness, love, and forgiveness out there for me, too.

I miss my tragically flawed, wickedly smart, emotional girl

I cannot help but wonder if he was doing a balancing act when he did his disappearing act, meaning that he had another woman in the picture. Then he just bailed for the other woman. It is a possibility. chi

He wouldnt really disappear just not respond to me. But he would tell me that he was at home and going crazy. A lot of personal issues that he had to deal with, financial, death in his family and just not moving on from his old life where he had everything and now he struggles every day to pay his bills.

Sorry...but I think his financial issues have been solved by latching on to another woman and that is why you are blocked.

Sorry...but I think his financial issues have been solved by latching on to another woman and that is why you are blocked.

Wow you are really bitter about something. Well I dont know about another woman maybe thats true but no whiff of it on facebook or anywhere.

It isn't bitterness. Because you don't agree with two posters?

Why else does a guy simply disappear AND block you from contacting him? Its common sense.

Unless you were stalking or harassing him via calls and texts.

It isn't bitterness. Because you don't agree with two posters?

 

Why else does a guy simply disappear AND block you from contacting him? Its common sense.

Unless you were stalking or harassing him via calls and texts.

I dunno, in my book, telling someone I'm done with them doesn't leave room to contact them again after that and expect NOT to be shut down.

Regardless, I'd agree it's a done deal no matter who is or isn't in the picture.

OP, you're looking at double grief because you still hadn't recovered from your other ex before taking up with this one. That all kind of gets compounded together, and it can seem like it's all about the most recent loss. So be kind to yourself, and don't start looking for a new guy until long after you're over all of this and find comfort on your own.

Learning how to fly solo is the most empowering thing, and it will prevent you from making lousy choices in leapfrogging from one poor match to the next. When you're on solid ground, you'll know it. Your ability to screen people will be enhanced because you won't be looking for a distraction from pain.

Head high, and write more if it helps.

You're right. You guys are entitled to your opinion. i don't really know why I posted my story but I was hoping someone would share something similar and have a happier ending. He could be with someone else but not for financial reasons as that was one of our issues, I was a lot more well off thaf he is and I was younger so he always said he couldn't even offer me a good life because He had nothing and he even felt embarassed when he saw my parents because he felt like he didn't seem too deserving in their eyes fyi my parents don't care they just want me to see me happy. Very old-fashioned. And he was always reassured me that he only wanted to be with me and that he was so bogged down by his own issues he can't even think about being with someone else. Anyway, thanks for your opinions, I just hope someone would share something more positive.

Thanks catfeeder. I'm trying really hard to just move on with my life without jumping into a relationship and that's really easy because I'm really not interested at this time. My ex bf was just someone I met while looking for a job. I pray every day that I just move on already but I had a conversation with my co-worker the other day and I realized that he did what he did because he was completely done with me and he didn't want to do this back and forth we've been doing for the last two years. And I had an embarassing meltdown when I finally got home from work. Rebound or not, I really fell hard for him, every time we were together I just felt so happy to be with him and I felt so lucky that he wanted to spend time with me. Even though he was going through something, he would always say that I was annoying because every time we were together he couldn't help but feel happy even though he wanted to be depressed about his life. He was a good boy, just a really crappy boyfriend. And maybe thats the key word, he was still very immature about some things even though he was older.

A few days ago I swallowed my pride and went over to my ex's work and waited for him to come out. Imagine my surprise when he hugged me instead of scorning me. We went around the corner to grab a bite to eat and got caught up. We kept telling each other how happy we were to see each other and we both thought this day would never come. He was afraid that I didnt want to see him and vice versa. Then I found out on facebook he is with his old ex from hs after he denied it when I asked him when we were having dinner. I was understanding on text but I was actually very upset and disappointed. He said it was up to me if I wanted to keep being friends but he was sad because we just made up and it seemed like we were going to fight again. Before I left for vacation we had dinner and went to a party together and he brought me to the airport. The whole night we were holding hands and kissing and reminscing about all the stuff we used to do together and how happy we are now that we are spending time together again. We did not talk about his ldr. To be honest I dont think that relationship will last if we keep seeing each other like this. I just wanted to share to prove that sometimes you really have to go with your gut. Our separation was borne out of my anger so I needed to fix it. As for his current ldr it just started in october and was initiated by his ex. I don't know what the deal is with them, but I don't care for their relationship. This separation made me realize that I am willing to do whatever it takes to have him back in my life and I am sorry in advance if It hurts anyone in the process.

A few days ago I swallowed my pride and went over to my ex's work and waited for him to come out. Imagine my surprise when he hugged me instead of scorning me. We went around the corner to grab a bite to eat and got caught up. We kept telling each other how happy we were to see each other and we both thought this day would never come. He was afraid that I didnt want to see him and vice versa. Then I found out on facebook he is with his old ex from hs after he denied it when I asked him when we were having dinner. I was understanding on text but I was actually very upset and disappointed. He said it was up to me if I wanted to keep being friends but he was sad because we just made up and it seemed like we were going to fight again. Before I left for vacation we had dinner and went to a party together and he brought me to the airport. The whole night we were holding hands and kissing and reminscing about all the stuff we used to do together and how happy we are now that we are spending time together again. We did not talk about his ldr. To be honest I dont think that relationship will last if we keep seeing each other like this. I just wanted to share to prove that sometimes you really have to go with your gut. Our separation was borne out of my anger so I needed to fix it. As for his current ldr it just started in october and was initiated by his ex. I don't know what the deal is with them, but I don't care for their relationship. This separation made me realize that I am willing to do whatever it takes to have him back in my life and I am sorry in advance if It hurts anyone in the process.

1. So the posters you accused of being bitter were right.

2. You said you dont want to be with anyone right now, but you were stalking your ex.

3. Dont tell someone to 'go away', then be confused when they do as you requested.

4. I did the same thing after my 10 year marriage; jumped into a relationship with an ex from HS right after. It failed miserably. It takes time to find yourself again and be someone that can contribute to a productive and sucessful relationship. (maybe I will be someday...)

5. Good lick on the path to self destruction. We will be here when you get back.

Wow you are really bitter about something. Well I dont know about another woman maybe thats true but no whiff of it on facebook or anywhere.

 

Then I found out on facebook he is with his old ex from hs after he denied

Sweet smell of bitterness ---- nah.

We did not talk about his ldr. How convenient for him!

but I don't care for their relationship. Speechless

I am sorry in advance if It hurts anyone in the process My guess is it will be you

Negativity aside, I hope it works out for you. You've put a whole lot into this.

Just updating for myself so I can look back at this and laugh one day. Thanks for your thoughts and taking the time to reply. But I'm done with negativity, it's what got me in this situation in the first place. Every negative thought I had ended up coming true when it came to this relationship, but sometimes there are things you have to do for yourself because you know you don't want to have any regrets. And sometimes you just meet someone who you know is worth it. If I get hurt then so be it. But like Adele said, at least I can say that I've tried lol.

We drank a toast to innocence

We drank a toast to now

And tried to reach beyond the emptiness

But neither one knew how

Perhaps Dan Folgerberg is your man....

So he finally left her for me. We've been dating for a while now. All I did was enjoy his company and one day he told me that he had made up his mind and wanted to be with me. It's far from a happy ending, the honeymoon period is over, and we're just working on building something that will hopefully last. Last year we weren't even speaking and I was blocked from his phone. Sometimes you just go with your gut and hope for the best. I hope this time we make it.