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Thread: charity adopt a family gift concern

  1. #1
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    charity adopt a family gift concern

    Every year we "adopt a needy family" through our church. You are given a paper with info about the kids: sizes, favorite colors & gift wish list.

    This year one of the three kids I was assigned wanted Hello Kitty stuff. The kid is 4; she wasn't even born when Hello Kitty was popular. Well no stores had this. I don't on-line shop & I have to give the presents to the sponsor organization tomorrow by noon so I can't order on line at this point anyway. I got a generic pink stuffed animal cat. Somebody please tell me I'm not terrible.

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    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Do you think you're "terrible"?

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    I hate to be the source of a kid's disappointment especially at Christmas . . . so yeah I feel kind of terrible for not ordering on line over Thanksgiving weekend.

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    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Terrible people don't donate to charity. You donated. So, therefore...

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    No - not terrible at all. The opposite. I'm not a fan of these kinds of very specific preferences for presents (I've been involved in similar programs through my son's school/workplace). I likely would have done a gift card with a note that her caregiver could buy a Hello Kitty. I'm totally fine with the lists these days of what kinds of food items are best to provide -that is really helpful and I am glad I can shop for those. We did that too for a holiday food drive.

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    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    Not terrible at all.
    Sometimes that donation means a child getting a present at all. A family being able to have a nice Christmas meal with goodies, and you should never feel bad about that.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It's not an ego contest, it's about giving a disadvantaged kid something, no? This is not about trampling over people to get whatever exact special thing. If your church expects that maybe you should reconsider this program or that particular church.
    Originally Posted by TeeDee
    Every year we "adopt a needy family" through our church. I got a generic pink stuffed animal cat.

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    It's an expectation I placed on myself but the list was so specific & it's a kid. I specifically don't take the families where the ask is for the new I-phone or some other $1000 thing, not that I could afford that but honestly until I shopped I didn't know Hello Kitty was out of style. Did I get the wrong substitute with the generic pink cat? Is there something I could have gotten that is better? I don't give gift certificates or gift cards; I know people love the convenience but I think they are lazy gifts, like the sender didn't care enough to try to figure it out.

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    Silver Member MirrorKnight's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by TeeDee
    It's an expectation I placed on myself but the list was so specific & it's a kid. I specifically don't take the families where the ask is for the new I-phone or some other $1000 thing, not that I could afford that but honestly until I shopped I didn't know Hello Kitty was out of style. Did I get the wrong substitute with the generic pink cat? Is there something I could have gotten that is better? I don't give gift certificates or gift cards; I know people love the convenience but I think they are lazy gifts, like the sender didn't care enough to try to figure it out.
    I suppose you could go to any Japanese-themed shop and buy something similar, if not Hello Kitty specifically. For example a Rilakkuma plush.

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by TeeDee
    It's an expectation I placed on myself but the list was so specific & it's a kid. I specifically don't take the families where the ask is for the new I-phone or some other $1000 thing, not that I could afford that but honestly until I shopped I didn't know Hello Kitty was out of style. Did I get the wrong substitute with the generic pink cat? Is there something I could have gotten that is better? I don't give gift certificates or gift cards; I know people love the convenience but I think they are lazy gifts, like the sender didn't care enough to try to figure it out.
    From my many years of personal and indirect experience people who are having financial difficulties love cash. The end. Or a gift card to a standard place like Target. My mother sends us cash for our birthdays, anniversary, holidays - not because she is lazy and not because we are in financial difficulty -because she wants us to buy what we like -and she sends a lovely card. I also get actual gifts and frankly I've gotten so many useless knick knacks over the years it's ridiculous. And toys for my son he plays with for five minutes. And an unasked for tadpole that died and upset him so. Cash or a gift card to a place they know I like is much appreciated. So is cash.

    I have a friend who is struggling financially and has serious health issues and she stayed up the last few nights crafting to make christmas gifts for family members. Cute stuff she made and sure her nephew might love the display piece she made with the child's name and put it on her table and think of her Aunt and instead of the sleep deprivation, the stress she told me about, the trips to the craft supply store, the putting aside her contract work to put food on the table -begging her mother in law to babysit her kids Extra hours so she could do all this crafting -she's making these cute personalized crafts because "gifting is her love language. Please. If her family wouldn't appreciate a gift card and a nice card to go with it then that says more about the recipient.
    And meanwhile my friend is stressed, sleep deprived and struggling. I'm sharing this example because I'm so tired of this emphasis on gifts and pickiness about gifts and assumption that someone who clicks on a gift card instead of a pair of holiday socks is lazy.

    The whole point of giving gifts to these particular children is so their families can have a present wrapped to give their child - one is plenty whether they are poor or rich (and some families do giving to others instead of gifts - like to these families!). Whether they use a gift card to buy something or wrap what you gave is irrelevant. This year I gave a book, a writing pad and a target gift card for the school and work foster kids gift drive. No specifics were given other than age range of kids

    I heard a former foster child on the radio yesterday who said that the gift drive she was a recipient of made her feel great to get that one gift - she didn't care if others got more, she didn't care if it wasn't from "Santa" -she just liked that feeling of getting something small at that time of year. Whatever it was. And now she helps giving to others. I don't think it would have ever occurred to her to think of any giver as "lazy".

    Last year we gave a Target gift card to the school bus driver. She works her behind off I know. I'm not sure if anyone else gave anything and I don't care. She gave my son a card to give to all of us - how much she appreciated our thoughtfulness, how she wished us all the best - it was gushing in that card -she was overwhelmed. I guess I was really lazy giving her the equivalent of cash - should I have had my son hand her a mug with his photo on it? Or a kitcschy coffee table book about our city?
    Last edited by Batya33; 12-08-2019 at 08:53 AM.

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