New guy with baby mama drama

I wanted some advice here since I don't make good relationship choices. My ex husband and I finalized our divorce and I met a guy who lives a few blocks from me.

He's divorced too, but they haven't settled financial matters or child custody issues. Their court trials have been going on since 2012. He has 3 children with this mom.

Within several months after filing for divorce in 2012 (he claims she was cheating ), he got another girl pregnant and they have a child together. He has upcoming court dates to establish child support with this mom. So he has 4 kids and 2 baby mamas who both despise him and he has to pay child support for 4 kids and alimony/attorney fees to 1 mom.

He seems like a really nice guy but my divorce is all settled with no more upcoming court dates and I don't owe child support , alimony, attorney fees and have only 1 son. Since I've made really bad choices before, I was hoping to get advice here. Should I be understanding or run?

Erm, I don't know you, but I think you could probably do better than somebody that is impregnating a bunch of baby mamas.

This would be a bad choice. He has a boatload of kids with 2 women he hasn't married.

But you could buy him some condoms, lol.

err, yeah, another vote for passing...

hang in there!

Thanks so much everyone!

I have the worst ability at making relationship decisions so I'm glad I can turn here!

Pass!!!! That's another boat of misery.

"So he has 4 kids and 2 baby mamas who both despise him../snip" - this right here is the red flag the size of China. You see that, you run. He is not a nice guy, he is showing you the facade that get's him the baby mamas. Do you want to be #3 baby mama and find out precisely why #1 and #2 despise him the hard way???? Never ever get caught up in thinking that you will be the special one who is different. You see bad history like this, you run for the hills. He is the common denominator in all his relationships.

The red flag lies in the doubts you're having.

I would listen to my intuition and

Yeah I would run. All guys seem like great guys at the beginning but his track record says otherwise.

I would stop to breathe. You are just out of your divorce with an abusive man. It is MUCH better to spend your time finding out why you make bad choices and change those reason. And raise your son to make good choices.

This guy needs a vasectomy like yesterday.

Totally agree with Victoria. Your divorce just got finalized. Take some time to breathe. While it's great to have a place like this to help, don't you want to be sure of your own decisions going forward?

You already know the right answer! At least one other woman thought the same way you did - take that for what it is!

Not only is he procreating indiscriminately and bolting, you have to be careful with guys like this because he needs a woman in his life to 'share' his finances with to overcome all the child support he is paying out for 4 kids (i.e., he needs to live with someone in order to not live in a hovel due to all the money going out for child support, so he'll use part of your salary to do that), but he'll also want to couple up quickly to have a women help him wrangle 4 kids and clean up after them and cook for them and parent them whenever he has them on visitation, so you'll be a 'surrogate wife' rather than him being fully responsible for his own kids.

I suggest you move on. He's already shown himself to be unstable, and he will probably have neverending financial issues trying to keep the baby mamas happen and all those kids supported.

It is what I like to call "The Muddy Puddle"

You are walking down a deserted street dying from thirst (your divorce from the jerk) when you come accross a muddy puddle (this new jerk) and look at it and think "wow that water looks so refreshing" when in reality it is a dirty muddy puddle that you wouldn't normally even step in and you surely wouldn't drink it except that right now you are not so sure a store will be ahead full of clean bottled water (a good guy) so you hesitate and only see water not what is in it.

Rose there are plenty of clean bottled water out there for you so please step over all the muddy puddles that cross your path.

Lost

that's a really good analogy!! thanks. i need to remember that.

ya... i vote run.. unless you want to be putting your money towards paying part of his child support for 4 kids to two different baby mamas.

Just sounds like a headache of unnecessary drama to me.

I'm fluent in dude, let me translate for you...

When he says "She cheated" he means HE cheated and got some chick pregnant.

What are you trying to join the baby mamma club... and he lives that close?! What, did you wake up n say "You know what, I haven't been stalked in a while. I could really use some drama in my life." Girl are you smokin mummy dust?!

I quickly agree with Victoria66. There is no doubt in my mind with that.