lostandhurt

She knows you can't do Friday so perhaps that is why she chose that day. If you want send her a text. Hi ____________, if your schedule frees up Wednesdays or Thursdays work best for me for a date. Then leave it and see what she does. If you don't hear back very soon after that text one way or another she isn't all that interested. Give it a shot, it is only a few seconds and keystrokes. Lost

I am a guy and when guys have been single for a while they are not in relationship mode/mindset. No excuse just stating facts. If he did like you said and realized he screwed up and apologized then that is a good thing right? People make mistakes and if everything else went well is he worth a little more of your time to see if this was an aberration or he really has no class? Was it cool? NO it was not. Is it worth writing him off without a second chance or some grace from you? I don't think so. If you or I did something stupid on a first date like this I would hope we had attracted someone that would give us another shot to redeem ourselves. Lost

This right here. At work she felt comfortable having you as a coworker or even a friend but it seems like that is all she sees you as. I am sorry and I know it sucks even worse when you felt for sure it was going to work out. Chances are she was being polite and avoiding hurting your feelings. If you send her a text leaving the ball in her court then you end up waiting and waiting for a text from her which is not a good place to be. She knows you are interested so she can reach out if she wants to pursue anything romantic with you. At least you didn't ask her while you worked together, that would have been awkward... Lost

The reason this is swirling around in your head is because this is special and you can feel that. The more important something/someone is to us the more we fear losing them/it. If it was just okay then it would not be hitting you this hard. Perfectly normal to feel this way but do not let it control you. I am not sure why you are terrified of falling in love and being hurt. You have in the past and here you are wiser and willing to take that leap once again. A broken heart heals and is not fatal but regrets can haunt us a lifetime. How about you do a reset on yourself and just look at this for what it is. A great guy you are crazy about that seems to be crazy about you. Let nature take its course with any fears safely tucked away. Look how far you have come from Stinky McStinky to Mr Wonderful. Well done!!! Lost

It was 15 bucks, not jewellery for goodness sake. An old friend sent you a gift that is all this is. If it was a woman sending you this gift would we be discussing this? No we wouldn't. Your bf is a child that threw a tantrum. Are you sure you want to date a child? You didn't do anything wrong so stop taking the blame for your boyfriends insecurities, jealousy and control issues. Lost

You asked her to meet outside the gym and she clearly let you know she is dating someone so hands off. So far she sees you as a good guy that took his time to get to know her and yes I know it sucks knowing now that if you hadn't taken so long she would have went out with you but you did and she is now taken. Stay friendly but respectful of her new relationship and see what happens. Who knows she may have a cute friend that is single. Just don't be that guy that tries to snake some other guys girl. Even if you did manage to steal her away then you end up with a girl that easily walks away for the newest shiny object, how long before it happens to you? Lost

You nailed it right there!!! We all could use more balance in our lives, some more than others. Just like any bad habit or addiction the first step is identifying it and accepting that you have it. Solving it or working on it takes time, sometimes a lot of time. Please remember you took years to find yourself where you are at so it will take some time to find the balance you seek. You can see the issue and accept it is a real problem which is a huge first step. I have lost sight of what is really important in my life many times but I always seem to find my way back. We only have so many days on this earth to live a happy life and I do not want to waste any of it on something that is pretty low on my importance list. Lost PS Do you feel like you can fix this yourself or need a skilled therapist?

This is about control. In your work environment you are in control while your non work environment you don't feel the same or no control. It is a form of escape that gives you comfort and a sense of safety. This is not uncommon and not specific to alcoholics/recovering alcoholics but many do use it as a crutch to keep them from drinking. What is it you fear? Certainly the world will not stop spinning or your company will not implode if you do not do all these work related stuff on your off hours so what is it that you fear? Lost

I am not so sure he was ever your boyfriend. He was just some guy that put in just enough effort to keep you around. Look back with eyes wide open, that will be your closure. You don't have to bite into a lemon to know it is tart, you just know by seeing what it is. Same goes here. Lost

Lat's leave the money thing aside for a moment. He just very recently was dumped by his gf and he freely admits it was because he plays video games to much and dotes over his truck instead of the relationship. This right here is reason enough to run for the hills. Then add in he is broke as a joke AND living with mommy and daddy and you have a recipe for disaster. Thank goodness he was broke and that was your deal breaker because you were about to become his next victim. This is not the guy for you, heck he isn't the guy for anyone at the moment. Most solid people would be taking time to heal from a recent break up, getting back on their feet financially, getting their own place and then start thinking about dating. Lost PS How can he be so broke if he is living with his parents rent free? Bullet Dodged for sure!!!

I don't think you have anything to worry about. I would bet she feels like a lucky woman to have you in her life. Have you made out at all? If so or in the future when you get there and things are hot and heavy on the couch simply guide her hand down there and say something like "I want you to know I am not big all over" or words to that affect so later when clothes come off you will feel more relaxed and her expectations will be tempered. She is a big girl so imagine what she will be thinking undressing in front of a guy that is in great physical shape. I am sure she is worried about being rejected as well. I recently started dating a wonderful woman and we have been intimate a few times but my issue is the opposite of yours. When she told me I am a lot bigger than any guy she has ever been with you would think I would feel good about it but I didn't because I was concerned about hurting her. It swings both ways and we cannot change those body parts by dieting or working out. It need not be awkward so keep it light and fun when the time comes. She sounds like she is into and since you have been friends for so long she obviously accepts you for who you are. Best of luck Lost

She will not make it past the first interview trust me. I worked for an agency for over 30 years and even our lowest employee was run through the department of justice. To be in law enforcement in any place that is not corrupt they take new hires really seriously and check them carefully. We had one guy that is all he did, even as far as flying all over the country to talk to friends, ex spouses, ex employers and the like. You need to let go of this Lost

I agree, what good will come from meeting one on one? Nothing but grief for you and stress for your fiance. This sounds like more of the same from your ex, her way or the highway. Just tell her if she wants to meet for lunch just the 3 of you it would be nice but you see no good reason for a one on one meeting. Make this a statement, no a question or compromise. Then leave it. After all she cannot force anyone to meet her one on one. If she brings it up again simply ignore it. In time your boy will bond with you more and more so stay on the high road, be honest with him and he will see who you really are despite what his mother may say or do. Lost

Step back and let her come to you. If she does don't think the friendship will be like the old days because it clearly isn't. Things change, people grow and evolve and relationships/friendships need to as well. Interestingly enough something similar happened to me. Good friend almost like a brother and we hung out all the time. Then we lived in the same place and hardly hung out like before. Counter intuitive isn't it? Lost

Home was wrecked long before you came along. Let it go but learn from this. Look at yourself when you started dating. Did you have all your stuff worked out and healed from the last relationship? Was your ex for sure out of your life? Since they never truly left each other it was never real to either of them was it? Try and date men that have finished with their past before trying to start a future with them. Tough spot but you did the right thing. Lost