Should I Get My Ex-Partner Back?

Dear eNotAlone: I am in a situation in which I feel stuck. I have started and ended relationships many times, but the relationship I am stuck in now is different. I was with this person for six years, she was my best friend, and we had a lot in common. We were both strong, independent people and able to make it work for as long as we did. The problem came when, after 6 years, we started fighting more and more, about small things. We tried to fight through it since we were both so invested in our relationship, but it just seemed to make it worse. Eventually the little things add up and I felt like I had to call it quits.

We are now separated, and I miss her. I know that all of the fighting got in the way of us enjoying each other's company, but I still feel like we could resolve out differences if we give it another shot. I don't know if I am just deluding myself in trying to get her back though. I know that even if we got back together, it would never be the same. I can't stop thinking though that if we tried again, we would be able to get through our issues and we would be happy. What do I do? Do I get her back or leave her in the past?

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When you are in a sticky situation, it is important to weigh your options and think about what is really best for you. In your case, you need to decide whether getting back together with your ex-partner is really the best choice for you. While it can be tempting to want to return to the past, it is important to remember that sometimes things just don't work out the way we want them to.

It is normal to feel like you want to give it another shot, after all, you two were together for a long time and it is natural to want to go back to something familiar and comforting. However, if you have already broken up, there must have been a reason why this happened in the first place. If it was simply a matter of little things adding up, then you should still take a look at those same things and ask yourself if they are fixable. Can you and your partner address these issues and move past them? If so, then it could be worth exploring a reconciliation.

On the other hand, if the issues that led to the breakup are more about conflict between the two of you, then it may not be worth reinvesting in this relationship. Conflict and disagreements happen in all relationships, but when those disagreements become rooted in incompatibility or differences in values or beliefs, it can be difficult to work through them. If this is the case, then chances are it won't get any better if you try again. While it is natural to want to run back to the past, it is important to remember that our relationships evolve and change, and sometimes it can be beneficial to move on.

The decision is yours to make. If you think that you and your partner can work through the issues that caused the breakup, then you should talk to her and explain how you are feeling. However, if the issues run deeper than the usual everyday conflicts, then it may be better to simply let go and move on. Take some time to really reflect on your situation and take into consideration whether it is really worth it to try to get back together, or if it is better to let the relationship go and start anew.