Have you ever experienced a relationship breakdown so difficult that it felt like something inside of you was breaking as well? If so, you’re definitely not alone. This situation is incredibly common, unfortunately, and many people struggle to understand how to move on from a broken relationship.
When we feel the powerful pain of a breakup, no amount of logic or advice can shift our intense and all-encompassing emotions. It’s easy to become stuck in this pain, and become bitter towards the world and ourselves in the process. For those of us who have experienced particularly damaging relationships, the task of moving beyond this pain can seem impossible.
It’s worth noting that thoughts, feelings, and experiences of anger and resentment during the aftermath of a breakup are very natural and valid responses. However, allowing yourself to never let go of these feelings can be hugely detrimental to your own wellbeing.
You might feel that focusing on other aspects of your life is betraying the intensity of your prior experience, or even think that giving up on an ex will decrease the significance of that person's impact on you. Allowing yourself to become mired in bitterness, however, won't achieve either of those goals.
In fact, wallowing in negative emotions from a past relationship inadvertently gives it more power over your life and personal growth. Refusing to learn from your experience and move on is futile, and robs you of time and energy that could be spent better elsewhere.
The most productive response to a difficult ending is to focus on improving the present and building a brighter future. In the moments when grief or sadness over the past creeps in, counter this thought with one which acknowledges how far you have come since.
Believing that post-relationship life will consist of nothing but lonely days without passion can breed in us a desire to cling to relationships which won’t fulfill us, out of fear. Refusing to accept a less-than-ideal relationship allows us to fight for what we truly deserve, and aids in the production of healthier, more stable relationships for the future.
Breaking free from the limitations of the past requires hard work and dedication. It may feel initially difficult, but refusing to move on and surrender to bitterness will only make the process harder and hinder the freedom of self-expression.
Making strides towards discovering your newfound independence will be incredibly rewarding and can act as a newfound source of comfort and pride. Embrace the future, and take moments here and there to be grateful for all that went before, as it made your current experience possible.
Breaking away from toxicity within any aspect of our lives – whether that be job, family, or romantic relationships – gives us the power to create a reality of safety, fulfillment and joy. The only way to create it is to start down the path of positivity and self-love, no matter how much the journey may challenge us. So, don’t be afraid to delve into your past, acknowledge its lessons, and then continue on with the future in your own unique way.