tru8lue Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Hello. My girlfriend of one month just broke up with her boyfriend. She went from one relationship to the other. Actually the relationships overlaped a few months. She cheated on her boyfriend with me, but she reassures that this is the only time in her life that she has ever done this with anyone, and I believe her. Now that I am with her, I trust her completely, although that infidelity history is still there. Well, her ex is moving out of her apartment and she wants another roommate. The problem: she only wants a straight male roommate. First of all, I am not OK with my new girlfriend having a guy move in with her into her apartment or vice versa. I have talked to several guys and girls and they ALL have told me that they would not like this either. Second of all, although I trust her completely, I don't trust guys. She is very attractive, outgoing, and unfortunately there is that history of infidelity that makes me nervous. And guys will be guys. This can potentially be a recipe for disaster. Third, regardless of this infidelity history, I would never be comfortable with my girlfriend living with a straight male roommate. Why put yourself in a situation that can lead to temptation? Why risk getting hit on by a roommate of the opposite sex who is not gay? Her reasons for wanting a male roommate are that "girls are drama" and she's never "gotten along with male roommates". She has made it very clear that this is what she wants and will do and thinks that I don't trust her. If that was the case, 100% of guys would not trust their girlfriends in this situation (talking about guys that I have talked to that would not be comfortable in this situation). I have told her that if she really cares about my feelings and love me as much as she says she does, that she would at least COMPROMISE and get a gay male roommate. Worst case scenario, if she really could not find a female or gay male roommate, she can get a straight male roommate over 40 that is hardly ever there (less risk seems like). There are millions of females out there with other female roommates that get along fine. No roommate relationship is perfect, but when there are options, why does it have to specifically be a straight guy??? Doesn't make sense especially when its not considerate to my feelings and I know if the roles where reversed, she would not like it at all. She denies this assumption I have about her, but if she gets jealous when I dance with other girls (partner dancing, no disrespectful moves), i'm pretty sure that me living with a girl would throw her over the roof. Should she COMPROMISE with me, if not honor my desire for her to have only female roommates? Should she really be looking inside herself to find out what she can change so she can get along with female roommates so as to be considerate to my feelings? I told her that I would never even consider having a straight female roommate myself because I am just very considerate when it comes to other peoples feelings. Please help, my relationship could potentially be on the line because of this. I don't know how I can or if I can tolerate her living with a straight guy. Moving in with her is not an option right now since im stuck in a lease, but if she is unwilling to compromise, why bother right? PLEASE HELP!!! I will appreciate any input. Link to comment
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