tru8lue

I recently went NC again after a 4 month period of just being 'friends' with the ex (we had broken up back in late January and had NC for 1.5 months). We would fall back into the same cycle of acting like we where together although we officially where not. I got sick of it...she would not get back together with me after much talking...so I went NC two days ago. She has tried to contact me 3 times since then and I simply ignored her voice mail and texts. They where immature and she's not respecting my wishes. I told her to only contact me when she is ready to say 'yes we are going to be together' and follow through with her feelings. I need to let her know that I am serious and I refuse to be strung along.

I am doing great people! I have had enough of the abusive relationship and how bad I was being treated...it's easy enough to stay NC... I had to break contact last week with her to figure out how to get my things and money back...I sent her an email...given our history...trying to get my things back might get ugly...so i'm considering forgetting about the $400 she owes me...I don't think its worth going backwards and bringing more pain again to myself...after this long of NC... I still miss the goodtimes with her...and it sucks because I still have to eventually see her (we run in the same circles) but I will remain strong and have self respect...I used to always be the one running back...i've had enough

WOW...this is insane...why does this sound EXACTLY like the relationship I just got out of... WOW... I know EXACTLY what you are going through...we always had those arguments...differences of opinions...tension always building up because someone always had to be right... This type of relationship is TOXIC...usually one person belittles the other person's opinion due to their own insecurity...they always have to be right because they are so insecure to be wrong... It's been 4 years since the OP posted this thread...hopefully you have moved on...you shouldn't be in a relationship like this...I too know see with a clear mind and not with a confused heart...she was very co-dependent...and I pushed too hard to save our relationship because of all the work I had already put into it...but unless the other person fixes their own issues.... We don't live forever...some relationships are just too much work...you can't fix other people's issues...life's too short to wait around for one person to change....when there are over a billion others in this world.

SuperDave, I just broke up with my g/f of a little over a year. It was a very unhealthy relationship, but it was great at the same time. About a 50/50 mix. We would argue alot, belittle each others opinions, there was selfishness on her part, insecurities on my part, etc. I have been thinking the past few days on how this relationship would have worked if so much baggage was not brought into the relationship by both of us. It was the perfect recipe to ruin something that could have been great. Our relationship was ended very immaturely by her over a text message (she is 26 by the way, i'm 27). This infuriated me and then I became immature and blew off my lid. Many insults where exchanged and that particular day i was sure that we would hate each other forever. I love this girl a lot and didn't mean many of the things I said. Some of the things that both of us said had nothing to do with our relationship (insults to our appearance, etc). I am bitter that this relationship didn't work out because there was extreme potential. I am also bitter that she didn't follow through on my suggestion that we both attend couples and individual counseling together. It made me think that she didn't care about this relationship as much as I did. Many of our common friends where envious of us, how we had so much in common, love to do all the same things, had same style of clothing, list goes on.... This relationship would have been over 6 months ago if it weren't for myself pushing so hard. Sometimes I wonder if I made a mistake. I have read your posts on just focusing on myself for now, not worry about what she is doing, etc. I find myself obsessively seeing who she is leaving comments on whos myspace/facebook page on a daily basis. It's hard to stay with NC, she recently came down with the Mono and wish I could be there for her, but at the same time i'm angry and don't want to be around her. We had a wonderful platonic relationship before the romance started. I really miss those days and I never wanted to lose her completely. Deep down, I would like another shot at a romantic relationship with her AFTER working on myself and fixing the things about myself that I new contributed to the demise of this relationship, yet I know that I should move forward with my life without expecting any of that. When would be a good time to break NC? I know that I definitely want to be friends with her at some point, but how long do I wait? Any suggestions on how to do it? I wouldn't push romance again, I would just let nature take its course if we where to become friends again. It's so hard...I have been really down...depressed...grieving...etc...I find that I have to go out every single day to avoid being alone with my emotions. If I stay in, all i do is sleeping all day to try and escape the reality. This is only day 4 of NC...but this thread has made it a little easier after reading about everyones experiences. One other thing...unfortunately I will definitely run into this girl again without a doubt after she recovers from the Mono (after about a month at least). All our friends are pretty much in the same circle. I don't want to stop hanging out with our mutual friends or doing activities with them, but seeing her would be torture and depressing. What do you reccomend?

If you cheat and you don't tell your partner, your relationship is a lie. Why? Because you have to have trust in a relationship and be open about everything. If you withold that piece of information, you have fake trust. You have no right to continue a relationship with the person that you cheated on. You have to tell the person and let HIM/HER decide if they want to continue the relationship and rebuild that trust with you.