New to this whole thing.....big quandry!!!

[jordan1234]

So i met this girl on a dating site. I sent her an email. She sent an email to me. We started emailing each other for about three dyas. She seemed great. Now I am not a shy person, and felt that the emailing was sort of killing what would be a very cool first date so i asked her to grab a drink one night. She was psyched and agreed. we made plans and she gave me her phone #.

 

The first time we were supposed to meet she had to reschedule due to working too late, but we quickly made it for another night. Then the night we were supposed to meet.....she stood me up. I text'd her at the bar and got a text back saying she was sorry but she had just got out of work and that her scheduel was busy lately. I sent a text saying well how about a drink? Nothing.....then i sent a text saying no big deal, but if you want to meet up sometime let me know. Now I'm new to this stuff, and this is the only girl i have found mildly interesting. Should i let this go? Send her an email? She seemed so into it? Is this typical?

[Batya33]

It's just like real life dating - there will always be fickle people and unreliable people. I would leave the ball in her court. If it were me I would move on because she stood you up without a real apology, but that's just me.

[DN]

I have no idea if it is typical but if I were you I would forget her and move on. That sort of behaviour when you haven't even met is an indicator of how she will behave in the future.

 

Sorry - but better luck next time.

[Lady Bugg]

Hmmmm Jordan....I must say I agree with the others.

Her behavior sounds..ummmmm fishy to me.

Did she send you pics or anything? maybe she is not who she portrayed herself to be....It happens in that medium.

 

Best of luck in your search!!

[coollady1957]

I too agree that you should just forget about her and move on to finding someone else to try to get to know. She seems quite unreliable. I was stood up once , with a lame excuse afterwards. I swore then that I would not attempt anything with that person again.

[jordan1234]

Yeah, thats kind of where I am. I'm not upset or anything and it is true that she really didn't give me much of an apology, although if i took her for her word, she had JUST gotten out of work. But, she agreed on the day. I did see pictures of her, and everything seemed legit.

 

I guess what sucks is that I was pretty unsure about the whoel online thing in general (I am really not a shy person, but just do not g out as much as i used to), but thought i would give it a shot. The nature of my job i have to be a little secretive so i dont have a pic posted but i sent her one. She seemed happy after it for sure. I guess its just weird how it went down.If she contacts me again then I'll weigh my options maybe, but definitely no e-mail to her right?

[jordan1234]

And lady, it's too bad your not listed on the online site....

[Lady Bugg]

LOL Jordan....

[shes2smart]

If she's too busy/unorganized to even manage to get an hour to meet for a drink, she doesn't have enough time/time management skills to be in a relationship.

 

Move on. There's plenty of other gals who have it more together. NEXT!

[JoeWho]

I agree with the other posters, this is just a sign of things to come if you did get involved with her.

[jordan1234]

ok, so the prevailing advice seems to be that I shoudl just do nothing and maybe not even contact this girl even if she contacts me.....remember that we have never met, still valid?

[shes2smart]

If it was me, I wouldn't initiate anymore contact with the person.

 

If they contacted me, I'd be polite & friendly but a little distant. If they suggested getting together and I still felt like meeting them, I'd let them pick the day/time/place....and then I'd hold no expectations of them actually following through.

 

If I didn't feel like meeting them (or I was legitimately busy at the time they picked), I'd politely but firmly decline the invitation and get on with my life.

 

The bottom line is this: at this point, you should both be in "first impression" mode...that means on your best behavior, presenting the best possible version of yourself. If she's being this flaky now, what'll it be like when she's comfortable? Do you really want to find out?

[Aurian]

^^ Excellent advice I think. Once I would understand, but twice or more? I would say she is too flaky and unreliable at best or hiding something at worst. I'd just move on.