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jordan1234

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  1. jordan1234
    I usually send and emial or a text the next day saying I had a good time and I will call to do it aagain sometime. That way you are showing interest, but are not getting into another long conversation after just haging out the night before. FWIW. I think you HAVE to call her again. Dont be shy, if you are you will never know.
  2. jordan1234
    ok, so the prevailing advice seems to be that I shoudl just do nothing and maybe not even contact this girl even if she contacts me.....remember that we have never met, still valid?
  3. jordan1234
    And lady, it's too bad your not listed on the online site....
  4. jordan1234
    Yeah, thats kind of where I am. I'm not upset or anything and it is true that she really didn't give me much of an apology, although if i took her for her word, she had JUST gotten out of work. But, she agreed on the day. I did see pictures of her, and everything seemed legit. I guess what sucks is that I was pretty unsure about the whoel online thing in general (I am really not a shy person, but just do not g out as much as i used to), but thought i would give it a shot. The nature of my job i have to be a little secretive so i dont have a pic posted but i sent her one. She seemed happy after it for sure. I guess its just weird how it went down.If she contacts me again then I'll weigh my options maybe, but definitely no e-mail to her right?
  5. jordan1234
    So i met this girl on a dating site. I sent her an email. She sent an email to me. We started emailing each other for about three dyas. She seemed great. Now I am not a shy person, and felt that the emailing was sort of killing what would be a very cool first date so i asked her to grab a drink one night. She was psyched and agreed. we made plans and she gave me her phone #. The first time we were supposed to meet she had to reschedule due to working too late, but we quickly made it for another night. Then the night we were supposed to meet.....she stood me up. I text'd her at the bar and got a text back saying she was sorry but she had just got out of work and that her scheduel was busy lately. I sent a text saying well how about a drink? Nothing.....then i sent a text saying no big deal, but if you want to meet up sometime let me know. Now I'm new to this stuff, and this is the only girl i have found mildly interesting. Should i let this go? Send her an email? She seemed so into it? Is this typical?
  6. jordan1234
    To be honest, i can tell you a story.....When I was in school i had a long distance girlfriend. We would see each toehr maybe 2 times a month. I met this girl next door to me. she was amazing. We would hang out everyday for a year. It was awsome and i loved being with her. but i never considered her at all romantically. And she was attractive. I would look at her as a great friend and continue to enjoy her company. She might be verys ecure with her relationship which is fine. I wound certainly not push anything and i would not think about her in a romantic way. You'll only ruin what you might be ableto have...a great friend.....
  7. jordan1234
    You know, the reason i gave the advice i did was from personal expiriece. When my ex and I were getting back together, most of my firends and family were saying i should not persue it. I would tell them its not a big deal and im just being low key, and im not into getting back, but int he back of my mind i definitely was. I just didnt want to hear all of the negative vibe stuff form others. I would say dont worry about hear say from friends. My buddy told me for years he wasn't totally into this girl he was dating and they just got married....if she had overheard our conversations back int he day she might have bolted....we laugh about it now. Just react to how he treats you....if that changes then worry
  8. jordan1234
    you know, sometimes guys say things to save face, and it reall yis nothing more than that. He might be getting a lot of crap for seeing you again, so he downplays it. Its how he acts towards you that is important. That wasn't meant for you anyway, so i wouldn't worry about it.
  9. jordan1234
    I think youre thinking way too much....let me ask, are you just out of a relationship? First off, make a move. It seems that she is doing a lot. You might be calling her but she is making the suggestions, dates, ideas etc. Also, why dont you try to kiss HER. I would always try to at least kiss a girl after a few itmes hanging out. other wise you give out a friendship vibe...
  10. jordan1234
    I agree most women want that craziness form a man, but it shoudl also come from her as well. I f youa re making all the sexual effort then i would just have a conversation telling her what you think is wrong....
  11. jordan1234
    and that is comepletely negating the posibility that the woman will have sex with someone and realize that it was WAY less meaningful than with their ex....
  12. jordan1234
    Well, the fights were over stupid little thing (like always)....misunderstandings and whatnot. We seemd to get on the same which is why i didnt think anything crazy was going on. She claimed that she had lost her "Strong" feelings for me. But, she said this last year as well, and then begged to get back, whcih we did and were very happy. She sadi her feelings came back. So that was what she said when she ended things. She is very uncertain about things in her life at all times (goes back and forth). We did talk about how our communication was not the best towards the end (especially not talking about why we hadn't had sex). But, i just felt that relationships have ebs and flows and this was a little rut.
  13. jordan1234
    I was in a relationship with my GF on and off for about 2 years. Our sex life was amazing. We were that couple that would have sex for 45 to an hour on average. We would have what i would charaterize as a normal amount of sex. 4-5 times a week. It was always a strength in our relationship i felt. Starting in December we hit a bit of a rut. We were very busy with christmas stuff (every weekend we had tons of plans). We stayed at my brother's house and could not have sex one weekend and then another weekend I was gone. On top of that and obvious women issues, we just kind of got out of the habit for about a month. We didn't really talk about, since i felt it was just a circumstantial phase, but then in the second week of january she ended things quite suddenly. I am wondering i guess a chicken and an egg question. Was the no sex because feelings were being lost or part of the losing of feelings. I mean she could have easily initiated as well, and had in the past. Of course i did not lose feelings for her during this, just felt it was a rut. A part of me feels that if we had just had sex a few times it might have eased some of the tension. We were fighting a bit more than usual but not a ton. thoughts?
  14. jordan1234
    Well she said that she "lost" her feelings in november, and that led to her thinking we should break up. Although she said this to me last year when we broke up and we got back together. So its hard to tell. We broke up in january. We were both putting in a little less effort, but i still felt we had agreat relationship. She seemed happy, but we hit a bit of a rut, as i felt (we had been steadily together for about 8 months). I feel now that I might have given less than steller effort, and that led to us growing apart a bit. I do think she didn't put in as much effort as she could have as well, but i guess why i ask, is that when yo are sensing that someone has a guard and you have feelings i would usually think most would try a little harder and are less likely to give up....
  15. jordan1234
    I have posted frequently about my brak up with my GF. She broke up with me. We had bronken up before and it took 3-4 months of limited contact to get back. She said "i love you".....I said it back, but we did not say it too much to each other although i did call her "lovie" all the time. I guess i was a little guarded. I trated her very well, but over time we settled a bit. I think i took her for granted a little, but was stil romantic at times. I felt this was normal. My question, i know women have different thresholds for loving attention, but does that influence feeling? if you have feelings for someone you wokr at it right? If not then it takes hold...i am grappling to understand if this was the issue that led to thebrak up. Basically me being guarded....
  16. jordan1234
    well im going to start trying this. it has actually been abou 37 days for me of no contact. We have broken up before and she has always come back. Now i have gotten nothing. I kind of just expected her to come back to me so i didn't do anything to get her back after the break up conversation. I'm starting to get weak though. I don't think shes with anybody, and we have had a very amicable end. I have a few clothing items at her house and im thinking about texting her casualy to get them since its been 5 almost 6 weeks. thoughts?
  17. jordan1234
    well i guess my point is that time brings clarity in some cases. In some cases the people move on, but in others it can bring clarity. THe dumper can go out and date or see whats out there and relaize their mistake....but then there would be all this time apart with no contact.
  18. jordan1234
    Overall discussion.....can two people who do not talk for months, after a long relationship, even get to the point where they can talk about reconciling. the reason i ask is i have not talked to my ex in 5 weeks and having a conversation would seem to be so akward......even if she started to have regrets and feelings.....does this happen or is it usually a quicker reconciliation, or talking through the break up time still? I feel its better that i have not talked at all to her both for her and me. Gives time for clear thoughts ont he matter. But it seems so weird if we were to talk all of a sudden. Thoughts on this?
  19. jordan1234
    Saty the course....let her only have the times you were together as a reference....if she thinks she made a mistake she'll come back. In the meantime do all of the things you love to do and enjoy yourself. Im telling you this is the winnning combination.
  20. jordan1234
    know i agree completely. i am very sad not to have my ex. very sad. I miss her everyday and think about her often. BUT, i am kind of happy to have this time to be single and do my own thing. Not to date neccessarily but jusat to be for awhile. I thinkt hats the best mindset going forard as well. I haven't seen her in a month or talekd or text'd. things seem very weird for sure. in amonth it would be akward i think. but in 4-6 months i dont think so. and if were both single and willing, whats the harm......we can learn from mistakes for sure....
  21. jordan1234
    yeah im sure....i am not going to wait around for her, but i do hope we get back. i ahve had enough relationships to know when one is special to me. If she doesnt come around then i will move on, but i thnk it just takes time. As you said i think that the heartbreak has to wear off for both of us and then we can see each other as we used to.....thats the key to all of these situations and why NC is so important...
  22. jordan1234
    Yeah i meant without her. The hardest part is undertsasnding it takes tiem. This is something that i am grappling with since it has been 4 weeks since i have heard from my ex at all. Last time we broke up there was a little contatc early on. even though we were only together for less than a year it took months for us to feel comfortable again and her to realize she wnated things. It takes time to trust....my friend is psychologist and has stated it takes 8 weeks to really have all emotion drain away and really look at a person objectively with a clear mind. This can be good or bad, but can only happen with clear insights. My ex and i were very close and really got along so well. she is just very guarded and i think had trouble letting go of some baggage. it could be over for good this time, but i am going to give it months. the key is if they call i think you should answer. show its doesnt bother you. looking pety is worse than lookng needy in my opinion....
  23. jordan1234
    I would give this longer than a few months. I'm telling you I think you should definitely go away on your trip. don't even hesitate. If you start planning your life around her at all at any stage of the complicated getting back period then your toast. Take it from me. book it. plan to go on it alone. plan everything alone. And see where things go....
  24. jordan1234
    this si just how my ex and i got back togehter. I think if you ignore her then you are only completely closing the lines of communication. IF you can HANDLE the conversations then i think its fine if not ideal whats happening to you. I do think though that it takes time. a 4.5 year relationship is long and its very hard to end. For any chance of reconcile it will have to take a long time for her and you. I find that the longer the relationship the longer the time it takes to make the decison to go back. I would say stick with what you are doing, continue to move on, and see what happens. you did very well though...
  25. jordan1234
    i think when your young and your in college, AND taking time to study abroad, you would naturally be curious about what elese is out there. Sticking out this type of relationship is hard and i dont think there is anything wrong with taking some time (when your young), to make sure your doing the right thing.
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