MM58904 Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 This question is mostly for girls, but guys can answer too.. Do you think it's okay for a guy to go to a strip club when he has a girlfriend? My boyfriend's friend asked him to go and he said he might. I know he's not gonna cheat on me, but I just feel kinda weird about it. My boyfriend said the girls will probably be unattractive and stuff. What are your guy's opinions?? Thanks. Link to comment
Beec Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 My SO does not like when I go, but a couple times year I do, and it has not changed when I was single or otherwise. It's not about wanting sex with the strippers. Link to comment
Drunk Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 I think its fine for a guy with a girlfriend to go to the stripclub. I actually went with my guy (now ex, but that has nothing to do with it) to the strip club cuz it was our friends bday present. Unless your guy is going all the time, i wouldnt worry about it. Most clubs you cant touch the girls. The way i see it is that they are watching a porno in 3~D. What you can do is tell him that he better come home to you afterwards and then you can show him why he is with you and not the strippers! Or you can go with him if your into that, it'll be like you guys are watching a porno together (could even spice things up!) But dont make him feel bad about going, that will just cause drama. Hope that helps! Link to comment
Mun Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 My boyfriend said the girls will probably be unattractive and stuff. . OH my, I laughed at that one ! The girls at those places work very hard to stay in fabulous shape and mostly have breasts implants so they can get the good tip$. I think ugly is the last thing they would be called. Doesn't his friend have another, and preferably single, friend that he can invite instead of your guy? It's a personal thing. I wouldn't be bothered if my guy went, unless he made it a habit...but that's me... Link to comment
kr356 Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 This question is mostly for girls, but guys can answer too.. Do you think it's okay for a guy to go to a strip club when he has a girlfriend? My boyfriend's friend asked him to go and he said he might. I know he's not gonna cheat on me, but I just feel kinda weird about it. My boyfriend said the girls will probably be unattractive and stuff. What are your guy's opinions?? Thanks. It depends, if he goes every week I would say something, if it's a once every so often with some mates, I don't see the harm in it. If he starts going regularly and it cuts in to your time together then it is a problem. Link to comment
kr356 Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 OH my, I laughed at that one ! The girls at those places work very hard to stay in fabulous shape and mostly have breasts implants so they can get the good tip$. I think ugly is the last thing they would be called. personally my partner hates that stripper look, the majority of them look fake.. which to him makes them ugly.. being beautiful to him is someone that looks real, whether they have big or small boobs or whatever. So while some guys find these fake girls attractive, not all do.. so they are called ugly in some instances Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 it's an individual thing. for me, personally it would not work unless it was a once in a blue moon bachelor party kind of thing. It's not cheating unless he has sexual contact with a woman while he's there. Do you trust him? If he thinks the woman will be ugly, what is his motivation in going? How do you feel about his values and standards on this issue? I don't have the answer - but I think you should ask yourself that question. Link to comment
melrich Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Yeah I think it is an individual thing. And I agree if it is a weekly or monthly event it is more problematical. But a one off or on the occasion of a batchelor party or something I think it is the sort of thing that shouldn't be too big an issue. If it is fundamentally contrary to your values then you could let him know that but I think he still has the right to make his own decision as you would have the right to make your decision around what that means. Link to comment
MM58904 Posted February 23, 2007 Author Share Posted February 23, 2007 personally my partner hates that stripper look, the majority of them look fake.. which to him makes them ugly.. being beautiful to him is someone that looks real, whether they have big or small boobs or whatever. So while some guys find these fake girls attractive, not all do.. so they are called ugly in some instances Yeah, same here. He said last time he went was when he turned 18. He's 21 now so yeah. I just get a little jealous sometimes lol. Link to comment
Grosse vache Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 I wouldn't care. And in my experience the girls that work there aren't that nice. They look grubby and just a bit rough in my opinion. Why do you think the lighting is so dark in there? I went to a job at one once and she had the most disgusting hair extensions in, glued in with what looked like tar, her fake tan was so cheap it made her just look dirty, her face wasn't that pretty and she had the grubbiest thong on that I've ever seen. Maybe this place is the exception and all other strippers are lovely but it'sall about fantasy isn't it? Link to comment
kr356 Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Yeah, same here. He said last time he went was when he turned 18. He's 21 now so yeah. I just get a little jealous sometimes lol. I know that jealous feeling well, you need to realize that if he was going to do the dirty, he probably would hide the fact he is going to a strip club from you, instead you know about it... and if he doesn't really find the girls attractive he is probably just going because his mates are and he wants to spend some manly time with them.. I wouldn't think to much of it, just tell him to come home to you that night and have a good time when he gets home lol Link to comment
emma34 Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 It totally depends on the person...i've never really cared about that kind of thing until my current boyfriend - particularlly because he has lots of single friends. If you trust your boyfriend, I say - don't worry about it! But keep an eye on that friend of his...is the friend single? I, like more girls I think feel that I really don't like my boyfriend going to see strippers - but on the other hand feel that it's not my place to stop him or say much because technically he's not doing anything wrong. Personally I don't like it because I find it degrading to women and I don't want my boyfriend getting any of those ideas in his head that women are objects and so forth. Again, it's an individual thing. Link to comment
Scotcha Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Maybe I'm just crazy but am I really the only person who wouldn't be okay with this? But then I'm a bit biased.. I used to be a dancer myself.. (I'm not proud.) I think it's so.. Degrading.. For both the men and the women. Link to comment
xmrth Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 I used to mind, and then I didn't mind when he actually went to one. But yeah, they aren't like on TV where they are ugly-- I don't think I've ever seen strippers portrayed as good looking anywhere, like TV or in I don't even know what. A lot are young and pretty. My friend's boyfriend when they had broken up, her boyfriend seriously thought this stripper he saw frequently actually liked him. They had a website and she showed it to me, and since I've never been to one, it was like a window into what these girls are like and how they look, and they really weren't all that bad looking. They were younger than me, my age, they weren't perfect, but they weren't ugly, and that's what I don't like. They can be gross and no I won't care, but to be so close to home and be my age, and actually look decent, that's threatening. Not that my boyfriend would do anything or want to, but no I don't think I like it. But to be honest, as long as I don't know and as long as he remains trustworthy which I don't see why he wouldn't, then it won't kill me to not know. Its really that kind of thing. Link to comment
kr356 Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Maybe I'm just crazy but am I really the only person who wouldn't be okay with this? But then I'm a bit biased.. I used to be a dancer myself.. (I'm not proud.) I think it's so.. Degrading.. For both the men and the women. I dont think you are crazy, we are all allowed our own opinions on the matter and i'm sure you are not the only person that feels that way. I think it can be degrading to women, as can porn, but only if they are forced into doing something they don't want to do, personally apart form my friend getting into that business the last time I spoke with her I havent had much to do with the industry.. actually nothing to do with it.. so I am only speaking from my opinion. I know that sometimes they are forced into doing something they don't want too, but I know that some women enjoy the job as well.. Link to comment
caro33 Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 It just gives me the heebie-jeebies really. I don't like it, but... My husband has been to several in his life (before me met me) but it's generally been a male social thing, hanging out with other guys at work after they've had a big night out. Husband is the least sleazy man I know, and he respects women enormously. One day he'll go again I expect, so I guess I just suck it up when it happens - I know how much he adores me and I think the damage of me thinking I can get heavy and say "you can't do that b/c I don't trust you" is far greater than the damage that comes from very occasionally going to a strip club. He knows I am anti-lap dance, and he says he'd respect that. I still hate the concept. But it's one of those things I am prepared to make a slight compromise on because we share fundamental values, he has integrity, and I can trust him. He also is like a teenage girl sometimes and his take on things just makes me laugh rather than get paranoid. Link to comment
dawn515 Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 My boyfriend says he's only been twice in his life -- once for his 18th birthday and another time at the behest of a friend. He said that both times seemed like a huge waste of money. But then he has a thing about women pretending to be attracted to him. Link to comment
rocio Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Do you think it's okay for a guy to go to a strip club when he has a girlfriend? It's okay if his girlfriend doesn't mind. It's not okay if she does (in other words, you're not entirely comfortable with it. thereforeeee he has no business going. Would you do something purely for the sake of entertainment if you knew it made your bf feel insecure or less loved?) And strippers are not necessarily beautiful. I've been to some strip clubs in rural Alberta where the women were... how shall I say this?... less than average. But then I've been to strip clubs in Montreal - a city revolving around sex, sex, sex - where the women were absolutely stunning. It depends on the establishment, the community, and personal taste. Link to comment
iwishiknew Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 I go to strip clubs alot. The women are so friendly, nice, kind and pretty. They make you feel special but they just want $$$ and can care less about you. Link to comment
jengh Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 It might make me a little bit uncomfortable, but if I'm in a relationship, I obviously have trust in this man to make the right decision and not betray me so if one of his friends was having a bachelor party, I wouldn't piss and moan about him going. Now, if he made a habit of going to it with his buddies every week or month, then I would have a problem. Link to comment
EvaGina Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 IF anything I woud be peeved about being left out... but I wouldnt feel uncomfortable about the strippers. Link to comment
pesh Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 You should definetly tell him how you feel. Say that you dont think he will cheat, but that you still feel weird about it. Link to comment
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