Women: what do you think about men accusing us of being emotional?

[caro33]

I do think that women manage their emotions, and allow themselves to feel them, better than men. I do think we are wired more in that way than men, just look at the work that has been done to show how many more words women have at their disposal than men do. I read it was something like an 8 lane superhighway for women to manage communication, versus a country lane for men. I think Eva is probably spot on re where it comes from: we are wired to raise children in a communal atmosphere - it makes sense we need to be in touch with others' emotions and our own and it makes sense we communicate about that. In contrast, men are more wired to compete to kill mammoths without being killed - it would not do for them to worry too much about how the mammoth feels or if they'll be successful.

 

In general, there are always exceptions, blah blah, but my experience shows that many women tend to process emotions better than many men. The men I know feel emotion but they have no way of expressing it, and no one to express it to. It's cultural as well as chemical. So they suppress, or it comes out explosively, as CarnelianButterfly mentioned. As already mentioned also, men's means of dealing with emotions (when they are bad) also leads to higher suicide rates.

 

But we also have different hormones. I challenge anyone to say that those women who suffer massive PMS are less or the same emotions-wise as a more hormonally stable man. But I like CarnelianB's point above - let's see a bloke cope any differently if he was flooded with oestrogen. I look at myself right now, chockers full of progesterone and oestrogen (pregnancy) and my body is rebelling - I am feeling mostly okay but am breathless and I am bloated and sore. Let's see anyone feel that way and not get more easily irritated.

 

I do not like the inference that women are somehow less logical though, as it implies an irrationality. In the true sense of logic, maybe women are even more logical, as they see patterns in verbal and body language that men sometimes don't. Yes, something like PMS can sometimes turn a rationality a bit too subjective, but it's a logic. Further, even when I am PMSing to the max I am still more logical and able to solve problems at work than anyone around me.

 

Superfreak said on the first page "Their's (sic) always going to be exceptions. I've met some women that do seem to have a very good grasp of logic". That's one of the most patronising things I have ever read. Before you condescend to women you might also want to learn how to spell.

[HarleyHunny]

We ARE more emotional..........

 

Why Women Cry

 

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him. "I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will." Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?" "All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

 

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"

 

God said:

 

"When I made the woman she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.

 

I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.

 

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

 

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.

 

I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

 

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

 

And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."

 

"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

~ author unknown ~

 

 

 

 

[Parsley]

I hate the whole idea. I am well aware that I can get incredibly emotional when I'm on, and I try my best to keep that to myself. But the idea that women always read into things far more than necessary and see problems that don't exist at all times of the month has nonetheless got itself engraved on my brain. Twice I've decided that the worries and fears I've had about relationships are just down to me 'being girly'. Both relationships failed. Both times had I confronted them about what I felt I would have saved myself a whole lot of heartache.

[caro33]

yes, we learn to think we're overreacting when sometimes it just suits those around us to have us believe that!

[anggrace]

I think emotions are a mechanism for us to tell us if we are on the right track or not. So many people imply that emotions are a bad thing and in turn, people learn to push them inside and ignore them. I think that can be even more harmfull.

[Leonhart]

I firmly espouse the idea that emotions and logic are polar opposites. And women do tend to be more emotionally-based, whereas men tend to be more logically-based. I can't be sick of an idea that I believe is correct, nor one that I've even seen to be true. I'm not going into the nature vs. nurture debate as to its origins - especially since the correct answer would be both.

 

But I can say that there are exceptions to the rule. I am probably an exception. But being an exception, in this world, is hardly a desirable quality. Bottomline: For me, I detest being emotional. I'd go one further and say I detest having emotions. But such is life and life is such, no?

[Aurian]

I think the only reason women are perceived as more emotional is that it is socially acceptable for a woman to show emotion, more than it is for a man. A woman crying gets sympathy, but often a man crying would get ridicule.

 

I think I have a very strong logical streak. Sure I have emotions, but I often reason my way through them if they feel out of proportion to reality. I only really get extreme (crying, anger, etc) when pushed and provoked a lot.

[Locke2121]

I've been reading all the posts you ladies have made, and as a man, I would like to interject a few things on our behalves. Be advised, I may loose my Man Card for telling this!

 

Men are different from women. We are more insecure. We need physical touches and cuddling at least half-again as much as you and we have extremly deep emotional depths, maybe even more that women.

 

HOWEVER, it is how we process the world around us and interact with it that gives rise to the claims by men that women are emotional. Throughout man's evolution, to act was paramount. To feel emotions at a critical time could get you killed. So men have a built-in safety valve that hinders us thinking and feeling at the same time, it makes it extremly difficult to talk about and express emotions. We don't mean to be difficult, we are stuck this way!

 

Want proof? On average, when you have asked a man how he feels about something, how often did you get some useless babble? You need to rephrase your questions, ask us what our impressions are, or what we think of a situation. Our answers will be concise and to the point. We have trouble talking or acting, while at the same time feeling. When we do act and feel at the same time, it becomes a crap shoot. Ever seen or heard of a man who found his lady beaten or raped? Then next thing he knows he is in a blind rage, beating or killing everything around him. He actually can't control himself because his built-in control valve is stuck. His emotions have taken over and the body and his better sense are simply along for the ride. Scary huh?

 

Women on the other hand don't have as much of a problem acting and feeling at the same time. To us, your actions are as much based on feelings as logic. This is where the saying that women are more emotional that men comes from. So once again, you can blame it on biology. You can train a man to think and feel at the same time, but for us, it simply isn't as natural as it is for you. This is why you often become frustrated with us when we find it hard to articulate our feelings to you. We have them, but simply have trouble making them clear.

 

So be careful with us ok? We're doin' the best we can.

[EvaGina]

I dont know if that is PROOF so much as just differences in how we communicate.

[Locke2121]

True, and thats were the problem lies. We have just as much emotion as women, we just don't let it effect us as much. We can, if we try hard enough or the situation warrents it. But it doesn't come as easily to us as you. Thats were the misconception comes from.

 

 

And remember, cuddle with your men, they need it!

[EvaGina]

True, and thats were the problem lies. We have just as much emotion as women, we just don't let it effect us as much. We can, if we try hard enough or the situation warrents it. But it doesn't come as easily to us as you. Thats were the misconception comes from.

 

 

And remember, cuddle with your men, they need it!

 

 

I love men, despite their complete inability to express themselves.

 

Its a great feeling when you learn to decipher how your patner is feeling, even if they dont express it in hte same way you would.

[Locke2121]

image removed

[Locke2121]

"I'm a three pad man"

 

LOL!!!!

 

Course your probably right, we would try to make it a manly thing. image removed

[mintblossom]

i think it may be a way for some men to dismiss a woman's concerns, feelings, thoughts, or depth. if he says "oh, you're just so emotional", it's a way to blow off issues i care about or matters that affect me....without taking carefully into consideration that i may have very good reasons, feelings for why i feel the way i do, or for why i feel emotional.

 

i find it to be a dismissive tactic, a way to pin the blame on me. it becomes my personality "problem" and trivializes my feelings.

[TrustNoMore]

I have found women to say the same thing about men who get upset at some things women have said to them in very insensitive, unkind ways.

[isisastaria]

You know, I have come to a realization that men should not be expected to be LIKE women because the very core of men and women's brains are physiologically wired differently. This is definitely not to say that any insensitivity or any form of abuse is justified.

 

I think this just makes getting to an understanding or compromise between men and women can be very difficult.

 

One thing I have learned from my fiancee is that he is not the enemy. He is my teacher. I have learned from observation that he is not a man of many words (as most men), but he is a man of many EMOTIONS. He is sensitive and caring about subjects. He is very intelligent. He seems to express anger because that is more acceptable when he is hurt emotionally than to seem weak and cry. This is unfortunately taught to (at least American) men from a young age.

 

Most men have a huge spectrum of feelings and thoughts that just go unmentioned. They do not have the same conversations as women do when they are in all male groups. We are very different. Peace between the sexes will not happen until both parties stop taking things personally from each other. Women do seem overly emotional to men because we talk so much more than men. Women also accuse men of being insensitive and uncaring.

 

I just don't think that serves either party.

 

What will serve everyone, I believe, is to be as understanding and as acceptable as possible.

 

That kind of thing can bring peace to nations

[isisastaria]

The idea of logic vs. emotion varies so much from person to person. I took a test in a psychology class on emotional vs. logical. I fell right in the middle. Some guys took it and were on the emotional side. We're all unique. Women are labeled more emotional due to the fact we ARE more emotional on average around the time of our menses. But men have the same 28 day cycle we do...just subtract the mechanics. They are shown to get moody on a cycle just like us. Go figure. That whole concept is blown out of the water.

[Superfreak]

The idea of logic vs. emotion varies so much from person to person. I took a test in a psychology class on emotional vs. logical. I fell right in the middle. Some guys took it and were on the emotional side. We're all unique. Women are labeled more emotional due to the fact we ARE more emotional on average around the time of our menses. But men have the same 28 day cycle we do...just subtract the mechanics. They are shown to get moody on a cycle just like us. Go figure. That whole concept is blown out of the water.

 

Really? Would you happen to have any proof to link too as it's the first time I've heard the idea of a "male cycle", however I do think it's possible.

[Brooke657]

lol I know I'm not an emotional person...my boyfriend kinda is though. I used to think he was gay but turns out he's just sensitive...its kind of annoying.