Lboogie23 Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 I know that my fiance looks at porn when i'm not home. I see these sights he goes to on the tab bar. some of them are really out there. I know that a lot of men and people in general like to look at porn. But i guess i am a little confused about somethings. For one, why do men with beautiful gf or wives feel the need to look at porn? For another, should i feel insescure about this? Or does this have nothing to do with me???? I mean i guess i need to hear from men, what is it that men like the most about porn? Is it the freaky stuff that their doing, or is it that they get to look at other naked women? I knew in my head that he has been looking at porn when i'm not around, but to see it in black and white, it just upset me to be honest. I am by nature a pretty sensitive person, so maybe i am overracting to this. I just want to know if anyone has anything to say that could possibly make me feel better about this. Link to comment
Blue Skittles Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 JUst about every guy I have been with have looked at porn, it had nothing to do with me they just liked it. i think it is in their nature. But some guys I dated felt that it was morally wrong to look at it, so they didn't. If its really bothering you I think you should discuss it with him and maybe he can give you the answers as to why he does it and if it should continue. Just try to keep an open mind. Link to comment
Caldus Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 To be blunt and honest, I resort to porn if all of the following are met: a. I need a ... well ... "aid". b. I need a release now. c. She isn't around. I can't speak for all men, but as for me, even when I was with a girl, I would still watch porn. But I only use it as an "aid" and nothing more. Sure, they look hot and all, but I know I will never meet them or probably don't even want to in most cases. Link to comment
MissTee Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 My boyfriend who I live with doesn't look at porn. He doesn't even own a porn dvd or magazine. I've asked him why he doesn't look at it, and he said, "Basically, I just don't like it." I never even see him look at other girls. I asked him about this also, and he said, "i'm just not interested." I don't think it's anything for you to be worried about. I think it's like, some guys like it, some don't. It's like, not all girls react to half naked guys in Cleo or Cosmo. Maybe it's some sort of fantasy thing? I think, if you and your bf have a healthy sex life... it probably is just a fantasy thing. Link to comment
Caldus Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 I actually hate most porn. It's just digusting and/or not appealing to my tastes whatsoever. They have some real nasty stuff out there now. I guess there's something for everyone... Link to comment
caro33 Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 To be blunt and honest, I resort to porn if all of the following are met: a. I need a ... well ... "aid". b. I need a release now. c. She isn't around. I can't speak for all men, but as for me, even when I was with a girl, I would still watch porn. But I only use it as an "aid" and nothing more. Sure, they look hot and all, but I know I will never meet them or probably don't even want to in most cases. Hey there Caldus, I reckon this post is the most concise and well worded explanation of the situation I've read yet. It completely tallies with what I have experienced, albeit as a female trying to understand the issue. Agree on your later post also - Lboogie23 we need to differentiate (but not necessarily now!) between the different forms porn and porn watching can take. I believe that viewing basic "mainstream", non-misogynist stuff that does not take away from the relationship is probably to be expected from many men. This includes good men, committed men, men who can control their impulses and sincerely love and cherish their woman. I personally hate my husband watching it too, and feel threatened, but have come to the conclusion that it's not about me in any way, and I need to handle my insecurity. We are wired differently and while I don't like it, I am prepared to accept it. Just my perspective though. Link to comment
doyathink Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 My boyfriend who I live with doesn't look at porn. He doesn't even own a porn dvd or magazine. I've asked him why he doesn't look at it, and he said, "Basically, I just don't like it." I never even see him look at other girls. I asked him about this also, and he said, "i'm just not interested." I don't think it's anything for you to be worried about. I think it's like, some guys like it, some don't. It's like, not all girls react to half naked guys in Cleo or Cosmo. Maybe it's some sort of fantasy thing? I think, if you and your bf have a healthy sex life... it probably is just a fantasy thing. LOL....I was told the same thing! How funny! And I sooo believed him.....till I put spyware on the pc and found LOADS of it! ......he was very, very good at deleting the history, cookies and temp internet files. Don't believe everything your told. This took me 5 years to find out, looking through blinds and trusting I wasn't being lied to. Oh, and I never have found a mag or DVD...this was all done on the pc. Link to comment
Caldus Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 I believe that viewing basic "mainstream", non-misogynist stuff that does not take away from the relationship is probably to be expected from many men. This includes good men, committed men, men who can control their impulses and sincerely love and cherish their woman. Right. It does not mean, at least for me, that there is some kind of problem or something missing in the relationship. Porn is merely a supplement. Link to comment
Caldus Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 And haha, the good 'ol checking the cookies and installing spyware. You women are getting smarter these days. If it's really bothering you guys that much, then there's really only one thing to do. Tell him to stop or at least have 'the talk'. Link to comment
Mrs Elliott Smith Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 For one, why do men with beautiful gf or wives feel the need to look at porn? For another, should i feel insescure about this? Or does this have nothing to do with me???? My philosophy is that the women are just DIFFERENT. Not necessarily better (maybe in some cases, but not all). I honestly feel that if a man is with the hottest woman in the WORLD, he might still want to look at porn (and other women in public)-- not because the other women are hotter, but because it's just something different/new to look at. (I may be wrong on all this, though lol) Other times, people like to look at porn just to be able to get off without having to worry about anyone or anything else. All they want is to get off at that moment, and if their significant others aren't there, or if they're not in the mood for long-drawn out sex, or if they're not in the mood to worry about someone else's needs, then all they have left is the porn to get them heated up. I doubt it has anything to do with you. Link to comment
anggrace Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 LOL....I was told the same thing! How funny! And I sooo believed him.....till I put spyware on the pc and found LOADS of it! ......he was very, very good at deleting the history, cookies and temp internet files. Don't believe everything your told. This took me 5 years to find out, looking through blinds and trusting I wasn't being lied to. Oh, and I never have found a mag or DVD...this was all done on the pc. hmmm, is the Norton Spyware Scan a program installed to track where youve been? I noticed it added to my computer recently. Link to comment
Mrs Elliott Smith Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 You women are getting smarter these days. Grrrr........ I resent that! (As if we were ever stupid!) Link to comment
MissTee Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 LOL....I was told the same thing! How funny! And I sooo believed him.....till I put spyware on the pc and found LOADS of it! ......he was very, very good at deleting the history, cookies and temp internet files. Don't believe everything your told. This took me 5 years to find out, looking through blinds and trusting I wasn't being lied to. Oh, and I never have found a mag or DVD...this was all done on the pc. I trust my partner. Call me ignorant but I do. I know him better than anyone and I'm not about to stick him in a box with your ex. He's a completely different person. Link to comment
doyathink Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 hmmm, is the Norton Spyware Scan a program installed to track where youve been? I noticed it added to my computer recently. uh....not sure on that one anggrace....I think that is just a antivirus/spyware scanner.. Link to comment
doyathink Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 I trust my partner. Call me ignorant but I do. I know him better than anyone and I'm not about to stick him in a box with your ex. He's a completely different person. oh wow...never asked ya too...lol and he isn't my 'ex'. Link to comment
MissTee Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 oh wow...never asked ya too...lol and he isn't my 'ex'. Sorry... I just assumed by the tone of your story. My bad. Link to comment
kadvati79 Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 I like watching porn sometimes. Often just for the novelty factor, something to do. Like reading wikipedia or watching the simpsons. I don't own any porn and have only ever rented one porn video. I never had much interest in porn as a teenager, and since then my interest has see-sawed between watching lots or watching none. To be honest, I actually prefer written porn stories.... how sad is that? I've helped at least three girls I know with their laptops, and two of them had been downloading porn I say good on them! Link to comment
ScreenagerX Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 LOL....I was told the same thing! How funny! And I sooo believed him.....till I put spyware on the pc and found LOADS of it! ......he was very, very good at deleting the history, cookies and temp internet files. Don't believe everything your told. This took me 5 years to find out, looking through blinds and trusting I wasn't being lied to. Oh, and I never have found a mag or DVD...this was all done on the pc. Yeah I was going to say something similiar as thats what I used to tell my partner. I was just basically telling her what she wanted to hear so that she'd drop the subject..............until she busted me that was Link to comment
caro33 Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 Yes I am starting to believe that most men are going to look whether they are honest or not. Note I was not absolute in my generalisation though. Hey spader I am going to see muse in a couple of weeks, am quite excited. It's been a couple of years since they were last in my city. Link to comment
Caldus Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 Grrrr........ I resent that! (As if we were ever stupid!) Oh shoot, how do I get out of this... I was referring to how women are getting more familiar with technology and are using it to their favor. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 Porn to me is fantasy. Porn just isnt about a release. The beauty of porn is that it is whatever you want it to be. Whatever you are into there is bound to be a website for it. When I had my fix of my fantasy then I am done, I have no hang ups. Porn is just not real in any sense, because there are no consequences. Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 Icmotoboy, I agree with you, I think porn stories are cool. I think visual stuff for porn is boring and mediocre. Porn stories, on the other hand, stimulate your mind and your imagination and who knows where that can go. Link to comment
Tag Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 And haha, the good 'ol checking the cookies and installing spyware. You women are getting smarter these days. Being a computer geek myself... If I found porn related spyware on my routine checks of my comp, I would be a lot more upset that he went to a bad site and gave my computer an std than that he actually looked at porn. Plus being a clean freak person I would find it awkward that he masturbated at my keyboard. My computer is my baby! Do your private time on your own computers please! #-o To be honest, I actually prefer written porn stories.... how sad is that? It's not sad at all. I prefer a well written erotica to a porn vid any day. With the words you get to use your imagination more! Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 Although my avatar of my piggies humping, brings interesting thoughts to my mind. Hmmmm!!!!!!! Link to comment
MacGyverRI Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 hmmm, is the Norton Spyware Scan a program installed to track where youve been? I noticed it added to my computer recently. No, it finds and stops the websites that try to install the tracking scripts. It's good to run it daily when on the net and follow what it says to do to remove the programs. Link to comment
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