THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[MNmike]

day 14

 

still sad, still miss her

 

I get very angry at times, an hour later I want to cry.

 

Try to tell myself things to make me feel better, doesn't work for long.

 

I hate the weekends right now, cause I know shes spending them with a new guy.

 

I go to bed alone.

 

Got to get these thought out of my head. I can't move on with them there. Sometimes I blame myself, sometimes I blame her. I can't get my head straight. Nothing makes me feel better. Its all I think about, all day. Sometimes I still have hope, but I know we'll never be together again. Even if she wanted to (which I know she doesn't), I couldn't after whats happened. Its like a drug, I want it more than anything, but I can't. I want to hear her voice, just a little something. But I'd be back on the wagon, down a road to more hurt. I just can't believe its come to this. This is how it ends. The last time we talked, this sweet beautiful person (I thought) just ripped my heart out and stomped the s@#t out of it because I told her how I felt about her. I didn't deserve the things she said, I said nothing negative about her, what she did or said, yet she felt the need to twist the knife just a little more. Its not right. I know that, but she knows shes got all the answers, shes done nor can do no wrong.

 

F%$k this, this whole damn miserable god forsaken ordeal.

 

I want my freakin life back!

[MNmike]

I mean, what have you thought of doing? It sounds like, from your other posts, that there isn't much to do, but to stick it out. Hang in there.

 

I know all I can do is NC. And move on. I cannot do anything at all about her and the break up. Some days its just real hard. And I think the feeling of being helpless in these situations is what eats me alive.

[samantha20]

I went out last night with a couple of friends from my home town (I'm going back to my uni town tomorrow) to try and take my mind off things and it didn't work at all. Although I didn't want to, all I could think about was my ex. My friends had sleazy guys all over them cos they were wearing really short dresses, and whilst my friends were kissing guys on the dance floor I ended up sitting down cos my feet hurt, and as my friends were paired up I had no one to dance with or talked to anyway.

 

I felt unattractive because guys were more interested in them, even though I wasn't interested in these guys anyway. I don't know if since going out with a woman I've turned completely gay, or if I just don't want anyone else at all because I feel like no one compares to her.

 

Anyway I was sitting on my own feeling really depressed and wishing I hadn't gone out, even though I had thought that it was something that was going to cheer me up and take my mind off things.

 

Then my ex text me when I was drunk and as i had already cracked that day and I was drunk and sad and lonely I stupidly replied.

 

She said 'hey. are you ok? what u been up to today? when are you back?'

 

I said 'I'm out atm. Leave me alone, you chose him and u never loved me.' (bare in mind I was drunk!)

 

she said 'I care so much about u darlin and I did luv you and I never want you to hurt. Are you in x or at home? I care so much.'

 

I said 'you DID love me? * * * * you then.

 

she said u know I still luv you otherwise I wouldn't bother textin you all the time to see if you're ok. r u back in x? if not when are you back?

 

(I'm guessing 'love spelt 'luv' signifies in a friend way right? because she never used to spell it like that. Unless I'm reading too much into it.)

 

I said 'you went back on everything you said, lied and chose him over me. I'll never forgive that I trusted you so much. '

 

She said 'ur not 2nd best, ur my best friend and you've always got me as a friend. Sorry I can't be what you want me to b, but I'm always here for you and that won't change. I want you to be ok so badly.'

 

I said 'I don't want to be with you, I wouldn't touch you with a barge pole after u slept with him and I won't be friends with sum1 who has betrayed me. I hope you're happy with the choice you made.'

 

She said 'my god i didn't betray you. All I did againt you was have feelings for someone else after we broke up. I want to be friends. i care about u so so much. we were so so close.'

 

I said 'please do something for me. Please don't come and see your bf at work when i'm working. it's hard enough that I have to work with him, but if you rub my face in it you may be responsible for me walking out and losing my job.'

 

She hasn't replied. I won't text her again, I know I shouldn't have, I just felt so alone. It really hurts to hear her keep renforcing the fact that she wants to be just 'friends'.

 

I feel just like you NMike! I feel like I'm going crazy. I think about her every minute of the day, I'm contantly imagining that she's with her new bf all the time, i fall sleep thinking about her, I dream about her and then I wake up thinking about her. It's horrible.

 

If she wasn't going out with someone else I would feel so much better about things, but the feeling that I've been replaced is too much. The thought of her sleeping in his arms, her going to visit him at work when she used to visit me at work...the thought of them doing anything sexual kilss me. I'm going back tomorrow and I'm terrified.

 

I want her and this guy to break up so badly. It hurts more that it's him rather than someone else because she swore to me over and over that she was never gonna be with him and didn't see him like that. Back to the start. I feel so so sad today.

[AngryHeart]

It's been about...4weeks now altogether...seems a alot longer though.

[ycmanvs]

One month and 12 days. I am sad today. I have not heard from him and I noticed that he now has a myspace page and that he made it private. I should not be checking and I should not care, but I am just having a bad day.

[ShinCup]

Day 1

I had work today, then i went to play basketball with friends, then went to a friends house to karaoke then went to play badminton, afterward we went to the beach to enjoy weather, it's really nice today in Melbourne. I had fun today, got stranded cause a friend left and she had my car keys, so i had to call up my ex so she can call my friend to return the keys to me, (all the phones were locked in the car so we couldn't call personally and my ex's number is the only number i know off by heart) i only said hello to her and then passed the phone to my friend, so have i already failed the challenge is this a let off ^_^''.

[flyoffthewall]

day 14

 

still sad, still miss her

 

Hi, MNmike, that stinks, I can relate.

 

Today is day 29 for me. It gets easier over time, I find. But still hard, for sure.

[Crows]

day.. 3? Confused as hell as to what to do. I think my ex might want me back but she wants me to do the moving to get her. She says something.. then disappears for a few days... hints at going to dinner etc.. but never asks. (only the one time)

 

I don't get it.

 

She wants me to chase her beucause she thinks Its up to me.

 

Well why would I do that when I already got hurt doing that before.

[Coach Jimmy]

Day 11. Got a text from her last night saying "How goes it? at 4:01am my time, 1:01am her time. Pissed me off because it woke me up. I hate to think of the reasons she'd text me that late esp with her bf that she left me for that makes her oh so happy. I've gotten 3 texts from her in 11 days, haven't responded to 1 of them. I hope she doesn't call.

[Crows]

I'm tired of this * * * * . I texted her asking her out for dinner tommrow.

 

I'm so sick and tired of the games. I'm going to be more upfront and honest with this situation, and If I don't get what I want, I am going to leave this situation.

[Optigan]

I'm in, seriously, I've had enough of "contact".

 

So,

 

Day 1.

[ShinCup]

day 14

I want my freakin life back!

 

I'm sure i know hwo you feel, my ex took my life away too, when were together she made me lose all contacts with my lady friends, and after we broke up i found it so hard to go back to them....and life was just a mess, but now it's getting better after a year, so soon u'll get ur life back, that's if put an effort to getting it back ^_^' and forget about her, you can never get ur life back fully the way it was with her lingering around in your head. (i'm in no position to say any of this ^^)

[foleno]

I'm tired of this * * * * . I texted her asking her out for dinner tommrow.

 

I'm so sick and tired of the games. I'm going to be more upfront and honest with this situation, and If I don't get what I want, I am going to leave this situation.

 

Good luck. Let us know how it turns out. We support you.

[Crows]

Goood luck.. well thanks... apperently luck isnt the only thing il need. Il need a miracle to knoiw what this girl wants!

 

I texted her tonight "hey, wanna grab some dinner tommrow?"

 

Four hours later she texts "hello friend"

 

I say "hi?" and nothing back.

 

THis after this girl flirts with me, reminisses wants to hang out.. now A. She doesnt answer my quesiton... B.She is a moron

 

Should i text anything back?

[AngryHeart]

I just worked out on my phone that he hasn't contacted me in 29 days. I didn't answer his last reply until a week later - but he had changed his number within that week it seems. So all together I'll say I've had NC in 36 days?? Confusing..

[thekid55]

Day 2...No contact from her. No contact from me. I feel better.

[batteredandlost]

I failed. Miserably.

 

The day after I'd told him that it all had to stop if he didn't want to talk properly, he emailed saying that he had taken from what I was saying that the relationship was over. A second email told me that he loved me but that 'all this' had made him slide to a dark place.

 

But he also agreed to meet me.

 

We met today. When I saw him, I just froze. In the middle of the carpark, in the pouring rain. He took my hand, I cried.

 

We spoke for 3 hours. And we're taking it slowly. We parted after hugging and kissing - and with a "I love you" on both sides.

 

I am in the grip of depression right now and am not in a good place. It was my final cracking that led to the rift in the relationship. He had no idea I was feeling as bad as I was, but now understands why I'd been acting that way. And what's more, now I'm actually getting proper help for it. I berated him for shutting me out - he admitted it was an immature reaction. He asked me if he was right to be with me - I told him that only he knew the answer to that one. He thought for a minute and said "Well, I guess the only way I'll know is if I do it".

 

So we parted fondly. And we're going to take it slowly. We love each other, so it has to be worth trying.

[NorthDallas40]

batteredandlost - it sounds like your breaking NC wasn't a bad thing. If you were able to talk civilly for 3 hours, hopefully it was a healthy step in either getting back together or at least breaking things off with no drama. And MUCH RESPECT to getting treatment for your depression - That's a courageous step, and we all hope things work better for you now.

 

As for myself, I broke 10 days of NC last night because I was jealous over some Myspace comments she had made to her ex before we broke up. I sent her a rather nasty email & text, and she emailed back obviously very upset that she'd made me feel that way. I emailed back an apology and said it was water under the bridge since we were broken up anyway, but I also told her that her behavior was suspicious. She emailed back that she agreed that I had justification, but assured me that NOTHING was or is going on between them. She also said that she knew that I was exceptional and like no one else, that she missed me, and that she loved me.

 

So a minor speedbump. I can deal with that. But still no words like "I want us to be back together for real."

 

Back to NC it is.

[flyoffthewall]

Today is Day 30 for me. Yay! Love you guys, couldn't have made it through without your support.

 

I still don't feel over my ex. But I do feel a lot better and I don't feel nearly as tempted to get in touch with her anymore. Hope I can keep my chin up and continue to move on. I'll try to do everyone here proud.

[Crows]

What a * * * * ed up convo with my ex.

 

She logs on mobile.. starts talking to me... i have one word answers and asks if something is wrong iwth me.. she said my answeres freaked her out. I say im eating two hotdogs and its hard to type beucase thats truth. Anyway.. her name when she logged on was an ominous line from a tom petty song.. i ask her about it and she said shes doing wonderous! LOL!

 

She then asks me about me moving out etc.. my weekend.. says she has been sick for two weeks, vomitting.. etc etc.. My god............

 

I think im just going to end the convo saying i know somehthins wrong, and if you need to say something... do it.. or else im gonna go now.

 

Alright, well as I type that, she loggs off without even saying bye.... she didnt even respond to my text last night asking her for dinner...

[lovemeorleaveme00]

So a minor speedbump. I can deal with that. But still no words like "I want us to be back together for real."

 

Back to NC it is.

 

Ive been seeing a lot of people waiting on their exs to mention these words.

These are the only words that I have not said to my ex.He responds to some of my contact and sometimes doesnt.He knows how I feel about him and I feel that he feels the same.We've made out a lot but then we go back to square one when he leaves.I'm thinking if he's waiting for me to say this because I was the one that mentioned the words "its over" out of frustration.

I regretted saying those words and I want him back.Ive been very good with NC and it works wonders and everytime he comes around the tension is lesser

but he's very evading.I figured if he didnt like me anymore then he should be disgusted with me and wont even come near me.So I figured maybe he's waiting for me to say these??? Although its not time yet and Im not totally healed yet but I have improved.I just dont know how I will say these words to him without fearing rejection.I'll take my time.I like the peace that I have now with him.For now its enough we've made ammends.

[Crows]

YES!! bad place to post but I JUST GOT A DATE!

[bostoneric]

ugh woke up early this morning feeling like complete crap.

was having a dream about her, but it was as if i was in the house now. everything was so different and there were pictures and cards and all that relationship stuff around but it was all her and her new gf. right now i feel so much anxiety and just feel awful. its been a little over a month since she broke up with me for this girl and I left. last week was going to be the week I was planning on proposing. I cant remember the last time i head her voice, last exchange we had was by email over a week ago.

 

it still sucks a lot.

still trying to find a new place of my own, i feel i've way over stayed my time crashing at my friends place. wow i havent felt this upset in a while. its those dreams right before you wake up that are so strong.

 

i miss her dearly.

[remainstrong]

9th day of no contact.

 

OMG what a diffence i feel in myself already, no more questioning things, no more how can I or what can i do's to get her back and win her over are going through my mind.

 

after just 9 days I started the NC challenge as a way to try to win my ex back as i am sure most of us do, but even in this short ammount of time that feeling is fading rapidly, im seeing things clearer and im feeling that i dont want her back. How odd i mean really odd... 9 days ago i was desperate for her.

 

Anyone readiing this and wondering if NC is a good option trust me DO IT!!!!

 

I now sleep at night, I see things as they were not just how i wanted to see them.

 

When i started i thought ill try last till Valentines day and send her a card..... But now dates of getting or reasons to get in contact are fading , im seeing how mean she was too me how un appreciative and i realise things werent all my fault. SHE WONT BE GETTING A CARD OR A TEXT ON VALENTINES DAY OR AT LEAST NOT FROM ME.

 

Dont inflate their Egos by contacting them use the NC to raise yourself.

 

 

Thankyou everyone on this Forum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

[bostoneric]

do not respond to that email.

 

its not worth your time or effort anymore, now your time and effort should go towards making YOU feel better and happy again!

 

I know its hard, i struggle everyday, but something I've slowly learned is its all about ME now no more US. while I still care about my ex and hope she is safe and everything, she made this choice so all I can do now is take care of ME the most important person in my life.