Gabrielle0975 Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 Day 6 I didnt post for Day 5 because I donno...I'm actually healing surprisingly well. I feel kinda guilty reading all of your other posts on this thread cuz for some odd reason...Im healing unbelievably fast for a breakup of an on and off 3 year relationship! I've become so indifferent to him. Maybe its cuz I was in a very abusive relationship? and now I realize all the crap he did and I just dont even allow him to come back into my mind cuz he doesnt have that privelege ! And I donno...I hope you guys get better soon too! Link to comment
WorkoutAddict Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 Day 8 I was so busy at work that I barely had any time to think. I feel disappointed and deceived. On my way home I didn't think of my ex with sadness, but with anger. Now I'm 99.99% sure that he won't call. Somewhere, somehow, what we had was broken. If he called things would never be the same again. I would not trust him the way I did before, and I would always be anticipating the snapping, or the rudeness when he answered the phone. I would be always missing the nice man he was, and the amazing times we spent together or on the phone or chatting. A relationship must not be about fearing or feeling insecure or arguing all the time. and that's the way ours was the last few weeks before it all ended. A healthy relationship should make you feel fulfilled and happy, and ours made me feel down. At some degree I'm glad it ended. I will miss him of course, but what's the point of clinging to someone or something that only brings tears to your eyes? The more I think about him and what happened, the less I want to hear from him again and I've even thought that I couldn't care less about how things go for him. What's happening to me? Link to comment
Coyote9 Posted June 27, 2007 Share Posted June 27, 2007 Day 73...learning to go with the flow, feel my feelings and just try to let this stuff go. It's back and forth, round and round, but it's a road that for me is only one way...away and out of the pain, confusion, longing and towards finding myself again. Link to comment
TrodoBaggins Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 Ok, No Contact here we come. (Again) Gf of 11.5 months, split up with me 2 days before my birthday. I'd driven an hour to take her some Nurofen and tissues cos she was unwell. She was out having coffee with her Mum, and I left the stuff on the door. She called when she got home, and asked my to come back, (i'd only gone 10 mins up the road, after visiting my grandparents) so went back. I knew what was coming, she had gone 'cold' since our last reconcilition. So I took it not too bad, a couple of tears each, tho I broke down when hugging her 3yr old son goodbye. (she has a 6 yr old daughter, me a 10yr old son) And left. Deleted her number before I left her suburb. She txt's me on birthday so say she genuinely hopes I have a good day. 'Thanks x' I reply. Delete number. No Contact at all, for 3 weeks. 21 days. Very very hard. Tho we lived a distance away from each other (seeing each other 2 times a week) we spoke a hell of a lot on the phone, and always at night before sleep. She calls (Tuesday, 3 weeks after B'day). Asking how I was, etc etc. Says she finds the nights and weekends hard. 90 mins later and we say goodnight. 5 days later (Sunday). I get a txt, saying she hopes I am happy, and that she feels lonely and as I was her one true friend she trusted, she needed to reach out to feel that world is not such a lonely place. No need to reply. I reply. That she's not alone. Another couple of txts, and I call her. She's in tears. 70 mins on the phone, she's ok, and txts back, 'Thanks so much hon x' I txt her the next day to see if she was ok. Get average reply, she'd fought with her Mum but day had got better. 2 days later (wednesday), she's back on the internet, dating websites etc etc... Quick chat, she asked if i'd met anyone of the net, i said i'd had 1 dates with 2 ppl. She wasn't happy. By the Saturday her online profile is gone. I assume the worst (friday arvo her kids Dad, has the kids) and assume she has met someone on Friday, and started shagging him straight away. I stupidly put this in an email. She's gone off the deep end saying she hasn't met anyone and it's none of my business why she's not on the dating site anymore. And that she never wants to have contact with me ever again. She hasn't always told the truth throughout the relationship, so why would this change when it's done and dusted. I do shiftwork, which gives me waaay too much time to think. So on Tuesday I joined the local gym, and trot down there for an hour or so a day. I find myself on here when i come home tho, and have fired off an email or so to her, since she has come back online. I always regret it that night while having fun at work, hence putting the NC in writing here. I have good moments and bad moments, these tend to happen throughout the day atm. I was getting better before the 2nd round of calls, txt's. But thinking of her with someone else really stings, especially as we had called each other our 'soulmates', and shared some very special moments. I know I can find a relationship more suitable for me, but it's hard to think of her being with someone else. I have thrown out her clothes/earrings etc etc All the cards she sent me were taken by the rubbish truck this morning. Well, now I'm signed up for No Contact, I'll get my ass into the gym. Might have a perve while i'm there lol TrodoBaggins (Perth, WA, Australia) Link to comment
waterbaby07 Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 Start of 2 weeks! Wow. 2 weeks. extremely difficult, but im still here! WorkoutAddict: My feelings about my ex are so similar to yours. The way he acted during our break-up was awful. Such coldness- both in his demeanor and in his eyes. I saw no spark of love at all. I had to drive past the neighborhood we lived in together today (no way around it) and i felt such a burst of sadness, I thought my heart would drop to the ground. I got teary eyed a few times today, but i also got angry. If i saw him right now i wouldn't even be able to stand to look at him. I realize how dissatisfied i was with the relationship too and even though i voiced this to him, he decided he didn't love me enough to work on things- he wanted out. Honestly, im glad i learned this about him now. When i think of him sleeping or hooking up with other women i get upset, but then i think to myself, "the sex he has with these women will be meaningless. I won't put myself in a situation like that. The next person I'm with physically will be a wonderful man who cares for me and wants to be in a long, healthy relationship." I'm leaving the area I live in for the next few weeks for vacation and im sooo excited. Link to comment
1guygirl Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 day 30 yeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaa yesterday i didnt think i would give a sh*t about it but today i do... and it feels good hehehe IVE LET GO and moving on im gunna keep it positive and re-read all SD's posts (i have them bookmarked!!) and im gunna list what ive done with my life since the split...which in total is 3.5 months... ive.... got some hair extensions, face peel and a slight lip enhancement to start with.. gave up smoking and drinking (thats why i got face peel to restore what 15 years of fags,booze and partying did to me) started exercising - now im pretty fit & flexible considering ive got a bun in the oven..my thighs can crack walnuts whereas before they could only crush a grape (any1 in uk remember that phrase?? started my own cosmetics label Ahimsa Cosmetics (its vegan and not tested on animals) all of the above has gave me back my confidence and self esteem & worth - what the ex took away from me AND IVE GOT BACK MY WICKED SENSE OF HUMOUR...its also gave me a new drive and ambition to get my own place in the country somewhere where i'll bring up the rugrat and go galloping over the moors..ahhhhhhhhhh thanks SD for setting up the challenge...makes it somewhat count more when its official and you have everyones support - it helps set a goal and focus on something. workout, waterbaby and gabrielle...yeah can relate to you both...abusive relationships never work they only give them some power while raping us of ours and any shred of dignity we might have had...nc changes all of that *time for my favourite link again* (i always post this in these situations but its good for anyone on nc too!!) link removed hehe enjoy!! x x x Link to comment
WorkoutAddict Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 Waterbaby also told my ex how unhappy I felt and he said that he would make up for everything but he kept acting that way. I agree with you, I have never had sex just for the sake of it. There must be love involved, otherwise I'd feel empty. We deserve the best, if they were unable to give the best to us, just the way we did to them, too bad for them. Hang on! 1guygirl: Thanks for the link! "We must all let go of people who hurt us whether we understand why or not." Our dignity is first. How true!! Link to comment
andy5128 Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 Fantastic News...!!!!! Welcome to the I have completed the 30 day NC Challenge Club!! T-Shirt and medal in the post..LOL You are doing great 1guygirl.. well done aswell on all the things you have been upto that sounds great and you have been busy.. Crush a Grape!! LOL. Yeah I remember that.. I remember when I did my 30 days and I had a grin on my face... Such an empowering feeling to know you have done the challenge and come through the other end. It does not mean the journey is over but that you have come through most likely the worst bit of it.. So well done from me, pat yourself on the back.. Keep exercising them thighs... Take Care Hun.. You have done really well and I am well proud of you.. Andy Link to comment
papalazarou Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 Crush a Grape!! LOL. Yeah I remember that.. OOOH I could you know image removed Link to comment
spaced Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 day 8 for me - morning was bad (made the mistake of looking for her on Facebook and found her..sooooo tempted to add her as a friend!?!). Feeling a little better this afternoon after talking about stuff with a close female friend - its always good to get a womans perspective on all this i find....hang in there people! Link to comment
andy5128 Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 OOOH I could you know image removed You found a pic!! LMAO.. OMG look at that dodgy outfit he's wearing!!! LOL Link to comment
Gabrielle0975 Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 Day 7 WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM?!?!?!?! Ok...so last night, the abusive bastard had the nerve to call up my brother and argue with him and beg to talk to me...my brother didnt let this happen, though he did wake me up and let me in on the drama. He was just giving some bull * * * * excuses of course and he changed his answering machine so that a girl was saying it. UGH. he is so retarded. Like, why does he not understand that I'm moving on...really fast....and even if i wasnt moving on, i wouldnt come back to him. I mean. ugh. he's so crazy. I hate him. After all the things he did, why on earth does he think i would even WASTE my time dwelling on his stupid crap when I can go out there and have a great time. I can find plenty of guys who would appreciate me and cherish me so why stick with a bastard who promises to change but never does? Well guys, I'm still doing considerably well. It just makes me hate him even more. what a jerk. LURVE Gabrielle Link to comment
1guygirl Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 You found a pic!! LMAO.. OMG look at that dodgy outfit he's wearing!!! LOL PMSL!!!! nice one...but wheres the lil "boy"??????? oh werent they the days...renta ghost, emu and the pink windmill with grotbags, mr ben, dogtanian, search for the lost golden city or whatever....oh i could go on but will end on wonder woman - hehe anyway thanks andy - yeah been a good day today - virtual shopping for my new biz laptop and all the gizmos ahhhh such a hard hard life Link to comment
kgirl Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 Day 16 and I am feeling a little weird--was totally fine but for some reason am thinking of him today. He still sucks though! HANG IN THERE EVERYONE! I'm going 8 WEEKS. aaah! Link to comment
Brownsville Girl Posted June 28, 2007 Share Posted June 28, 2007 Hey 1gg, congrats on your 30 days! You rock. I haven't posted here in a while, still feeling a little stupid about going through my 2nd Day 7 because of the e-mail I sent...but in anycase Day 7...again...:splat: Things are going ok, definitely have steadied and life rolls on. I still check my phone and e-mail too much but almost out of habbit rather than real hope. Haven't been emotional for almost a week, sad songs etc, aren't triggering tears anymore. Still struggling with the fact someone else is going on "my" summer vacation but not nearly as much as before. Just kinda boring I guess. Keep it everyone! Link to comment
WorkoutAddict Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 Day 9 I feel kind of "I don't care if the world collapses tomorrow". I'm amazed that I gave so much time, so much love, so much attention, so much everything, to someone who did not deserve any. I'm tired of giving 101% of myself, I am exhausted, as if these jerk had sucked all the energy from me. I feel as if he had taken an important part of me and that I will never have it back. Link to comment
smickey Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 Day Two Been a bit teary today, not because of the ex, but just that everything gets you down after a while and sometimes you just need to submit, have a bit of a cry and move on. Off to see the counsellor again this afternoon so perhaps I'll get somewhere there. Link to comment
laugher Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 Day 3...again It is amazing how many people on this site are willing to put the extra effort into a relationship. I can only hope that one day I can find someone who is willing to fight, compromise and willing to put the effort into a relationship. Btw my folks have been married for 40 years....simply amazing Link to comment
spaced Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 Day 9 - feeling better this morning - deleted her phone number from my mobile! Plus going to a big party tonight and all the girls are dressing up as Alice in Wonderland! This could be quite intersesting LOL! Link to comment
1guygirl Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 brownsville...hey thanks...best thing that could happen to me was when ex binned all my cds which had sad songs on and so i couldnt listen to them and get all sad all the time...yeah i had a few on my lappy but its true...you just get sick of listening to them and they dont affect you anymore...its moving on in the healing stage so nice one!!! workout...you gave alot of yourself to someone now youve gotta use nc to recharge and give back to yourself again..more than you gave your ex. eat well,try some fresh raw fruits and savour the taste and textures. exercise and realise your body is a miracle and deserves to be treat like so by you and others from now on so pamper yourself in candlelit baths, go for a walk or drive in nature with the window down, taking note of all the other wildlife you see and dont see - go back to basics, refind the simple magic of life and slowly but surely your energy will come back bigger an stronger. wether youre religious or not just ask for help during this time...you will get it i promise x smikey...yup cry a river if you have to...its like turning another page and a page closer to the end of the healing book...it gets less and less laugher - my mam and dad have been married since ooooooooer 1964?? yup thats 43 years...jeez i dunno how theyve managed it like hehehe...it can be done it just goes to show ey - so why settle for partners who walk out on you when it gets a lil tough or the sex goes downhill or whatever...easier said than done granted... ps spaced...what you going as? tortiose or the hare??? lol!! Link to comment
spaced Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 It'll have to be the Mad Hatter! Link to comment
papalazarou Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 PMSL!!!! nice one...but wheres the lil "boy"??????? Stu Francis of CRACKERJACK never had a lil boy but he could wrestle an action man. These are who you are thinking of: image removed Fandabbydozy Link to comment
FreedomRing Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 day 5 AGAIN After a period of LC and hanging out as "friends" and a small, mini argument, started by myself.......made me realize this was just an action of me not being able to deal with the new terms...and that i was accepting crumbs, while hanging on with hopes for more.....I have no control or influence sbility to make him change his mind about me or the relatinship......NC all the way this time.....my milestone will be my bday...Aug 15....i'm positive he will try to contact me then...but at least I will be able to accept the contact as just that...contact...nothing more, nothing less......its about me now!!! Link to comment
kgirl Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 Yes it's about us!! Day 18 for me and missing him today...and then I think to myself--were all the little things I miss worth the enormous price I paid for being in that relationship? The heartache, the uncertainty, the walking on eggshells, the pretending I liked that TV show or that friend, the not doing what I wanted to do for fear of annoying the controlling man in my life, the feeling like I wasn't pretty or good enough to keep him?? OH HELL NO!!!! Going 8 weeks baby, just you watch!!!! Link to comment
WorkoutAddict Posted June 29, 2007 Share Posted June 29, 2007 workout...you gave alot of yourself to someone now youve gotta use nc to recharge and give back to yourself again..more than you gave your ex. eat well,try some fresh raw fruits and savour the taste and textures. exercise and realise your body is a miracle and deserves to be treat like so by you and others from now on so pamper yourself in candlelit baths, go for a walk or drive in nature with the window down, taking note of all the other wildlife you see and dont see - go back to basics, refind the simple magic of life and slowly but surely your energy will come back bigger an stronger. wether youre religious or not just ask for help during this time...you will get it i promise x 1guygirl: Yes, thank you, that's what I've always done but now more than ever. Not another tear for him ever again. Hang on!! Link to comment
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