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WorkoutAddict

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  1. WorkoutAddict
    I like it. I feel flattered.
  2. WorkoutAddict
    Ok... Day 10 As I said in another post, I feel emotionally and physically exhausted. This morning when the alarm rang I could barely open my eyes. Still in the shower I was more than half asleep. Going upstairs or downstairs one floor seems a titanic task to me and yet I spend more than an hour at the gym every day trying to get rid of all this negative energy. I feel like I don't care about anything and anyone. I wish I could dig my nails in the jerk's face until it bled (he would need a very good surgeon after that, trust me).
  3. WorkoutAddict
    1guygirl: Yes, thank you, that's what I've always done but now more than ever. Not another tear for him ever again. Hang on!!
  4. WorkoutAddict
    Day 9 I feel kind of "I don't care if the world collapses tomorrow". I'm amazed that I gave so much time, so much love, so much attention, so much everything, to someone who did not deserve any. I'm tired of giving 101% of myself, I am exhausted, as if these jerk had sucked all the energy from me. I feel as if he had taken an important part of me and that I will never have it back.
  5. WorkoutAddict
    Waterbaby also told my ex how unhappy I felt and he said that he would make up for everything but he kept acting that way. I agree with you, I have never had sex just for the sake of it. There must be love involved, otherwise I'd feel empty. We deserve the best, if they were unable to give the best to us, just the way we did to them, too bad for them. Hang on! 1guygirl: Thanks for the link! "We must all let go of people who hurt us whether we understand why or not." Our dignity is first. How true!!
  6. WorkoutAddict
    Day 8 I was so busy at work that I barely had any time to think. I feel disappointed and deceived. On my way home I didn't think of my ex with sadness, but with anger. Now I'm 99.99% sure that he won't call. Somewhere, somehow, what we had was broken. If he called things would never be the same again. I would not trust him the way I did before, and I would always be anticipating the snapping, or the rudeness when he answered the phone. I would be always missing the nice man he was, and the amazing times we spent together or on the phone or chatting. A relationship must not be about fearing or feeling insecure or arguing all the time. and that's the way ours was the last few weeks before it all ended. A healthy relationship should make you feel fulfilled and happy, and ours made me feel down. At some degree I'm glad it ended. I will miss him of course, but what's the point of clinging to someone or something that only brings tears to your eyes? The more I think about him and what happened, the less I want to hear from him again and I've even thought that I couldn't care less about how things go for him. What's happening to me?
  7. WorkoutAddict
    You tell me
  8. WorkoutAddict
    Coyote Thank you I am really not going to contact him at all, ever. Last night I was thinking that I don't need his apologies and I don't give a damn about what he thinks of me. I gave 101% of myself in this relationship as I always do, I gave him time, support, love, everything I could; I was always there for him, when he wanted not to talk about a specific subject I gave him space and respected his decision until he felt like talking about it. I was a good girlfriend. It's his loss and he knows it. My pain is turning into anger and my best way to let it out is at the gym, which is my addiction I do appreciate your advice! Waterbaby can cool down and come to his senses, as you say, but I'm in NC until Christmas, I don't want him back... I never did anything to deserve that rude treatment and he knows that. And as I mentioned before too, if he thinks I'm going to call, text message or email him again, he can definitely get a comfortable chair, go rent a long movie and get himself a big bag of popcorn because it's going to be a very long (indefinite, rather) wait for him. Cletharin big hug...
  9. WorkoutAddict
    ...and it might have gotten worse in time. Maybe it wouldn't push him, but me, farther away. Maybe I shouldn't have called, but I think I did the right thing calling and apologizing since it was my fault when we argued. It was his choice to be rude instead of accepting my apologies. I was hoping that he would call and say "I'm sorry" and he hasn't; so I can't even think of getting back to someone who has more pride than love for me (after all didn't he say that he turned off the "love switch"?). Anyway, since day 1 of NC, he is not part of my plans either. He hurt me more than enough already. By this I'm just sparing myself more pain and preserving my dignity. Sorry, I needed to vent :sad:
  10. WorkoutAddict
    That's why I'm at Day 7 What would you have done in my case?
  11. WorkoutAddict
    Not mad at him. I just don't understand his reaction, and I asked him for a break because he had been keeping that rude attitude lately; when he answered the phone it was now "what's up" snapping at me, instead of the "hi, baby, how are you?", and it was not because he had had a hard day; if this is how he is going to be in the future (if he gets back), honestly, I'd think it twice. Or thrice. His harsh attitude had been going on for several weeks and I don't deserve that, much less when I called to apologize. Many times I've told myself that I shouldn't have called and left things that way instead.
  12. WorkoutAddict
    Well... I will give him more space than he ever imagined, to cool off or whatever. I don't understand his reaction or why he changed so much. I told him many times that I wouldn't let him treat me this way and he kept doing it until I got tired and asked him for a break. I know that if he wants to talk to me, he will call... but I'm not sure that I want to talk to him.
  13. WorkoutAddict
    Well, since we had argued I called him to apologize, and when he picked up the phone he said "who is this?" and when I told him it was me, he said "what are you calling for? Don't call me anymore and if you do I will turn off the phone". Me: "I just wanted to apologize because I am traveling tomorrow and I don't want to leave being mad at you" Him: "Didn't you make clear that you wanted a break? Well, you have it. You're on your own now and you're not part of my plans anymore" Me: "Let me speak one minute. I know that I have made many mistakes but all these months together mean something to me, don't they mean anything to you" Him: "They did but not now. I don't love you anymore" Me: "All of a sudden? Wow, why don't you give me the magic recipe because I don't feel that way" Him: "It's just like turning a switch off" Me: "Ok. Anyway I just wanted to say I'm sorry, I didn't want to leave without making peace with you" Him: "We will talk tomorrow, I am not in the mood now" Visualize this with him yelling all the time and hanging up after saying "not in the mood now". He also said things like "I don't know who or what or how the f*** you are" and such and such. That was it
  14. WorkoutAddict
    Day 7 Today I couldn't help recalling that last Tuesday by this time I was drowning in tears because my ex had told me the most painful words he had ever told me. I have been kind of blue all day long and my hope to hear the phone ring and his voice saying "I'm sorry" after I pickup is more and more pale each day and, strange as it may seem, I don't feel the urge of calling him, maybe because if I call I will hear the same rude words or maybe just the busy signal that means that he hung up. I wonder, more and more now, where the sweet and loving man I met 15 months ago is now, the man who would have rather died before hurting me. In which part of the road did we lose each other? Where did the "I love you" that we said to each other before hanging up to start our day or to go to sleep become routine instead of the "butterflies" in our stomach? Is his behavior the past days the reason why I am not drowning in tears today? Fineberg: As long as you keep a cold head and an objective perspective, it will be fine. Just don't let that "inner tiny hope" grab you
  15. WorkoutAddict
    Personally if I had contact with my ex I maybe would have an "inner and small" hope that things would be nice again and that eventually he would be back... what were your thoughts when you called her, and when she called you?
  16. WorkoutAddict
    I do. Sometimes I am 100% sure that he will come back too, maybe it's just that we don't want to lose hope and we want to think that not everything is lost. I don't know if that's good or bad.
  17. WorkoutAddict
    LOL I meant my ex... I'm sure he is waiting for me to call, so the movie and the popcorn are for him... better be a LONG movie
  18. WorkoutAddict
    Oops, take a look at my following message... sorry.
  19. WorkoutAddict
    Day 6 I had an incredibly hectic day at work which helped a lot. A cloudy and rainy day as well, which does not help too much. Throughout my way back home I kept thinking why he hasn't called to apologize for his rude behavior, maybe he is waiting for me to call... well, why don't you get a comfortable chair, a nice movie and popcorn while you wait? Went to the gym and worked out until I almost fainted to not think at all about him and to not feel this excruciating pain inside, and it worked for a little while but here I am, in front of the screen blurred by tears. I deserve much better than that! But in the meantime... how do I go through another night without his arms surrounding me?
  20. WorkoutAddict
    Well, I'm giving him more time and space than he ever thought because I'm in NC anyway, to me we're done. Many times I told him that I wouldn't let him treat me that way and he kept doing it. I love him but I'm not a doormat How are you doing at this point of your day 4 of 100?
  21. WorkoutAddict
    I agree with what you say in the first two lines. Maybe it's not right to want him to feel at least half the way I feel now, but I do. After 15 months of relationship we argued last week and then, since it was my fault, I called him to apologize; all I got in return were hurting words, yelling and hanging ups, "Don't call me anymore and if you do I will turn off the phone" and things like that. We had had steamier arguments before and he never acted like this, that's why it hurts like hell, and I don't understand why the cruel attitude. It's not fair to toss in the trash in a minute what it took us over a year to build. I thought he would call and apologize but tomorrow will be a week from then and he hasn't. Was I wrong to call?
  22. WorkoutAddict
    Fineberg, I feel the same, I would like him to call and tell me in tears how sorry he is and how stupid for not appreciating what I am and what I gave to him. Would make me more than happy to know that he is feeling miserable as hell and that he is wondering why I haven't even sent him a text message. You know how I feel? Like a beast who has been wounded: the pain is unbearable but the rage is even more intense.
  23. WorkoutAddict
    Day 5 I went to the gym early this morning and worked out for over an hour. Took my car to the car wash and to not start thinking of him I tried to concentrate on the other people's conversations. I know I have to remove his pic from my night table but I need a lot of courage to do that and I know that it will cause tears and pain because it will mean that it is really over. I need courage please. Cletharin, you can write, just don't send the letter to him. Write as much as you wish, everything you want to tell him, and then put that in a drawer. It will make you feel better, it works for me.
  24. WorkoutAddict
    I guess that if I called I would maybe hear "Hi baby how are you" but maybe I would hear "I told you not to call me anymore", and since I don't want to guess what I will get and have my heart beating fast before he answers, I won't call. I will have him guessing why I haven't called or text messaged since, after all, he gave me another chance. I hope his nights are harder than mine.
  25. WorkoutAddict
    It is hard. I have felt like calling him and hoping to hear "glad you called because I really missed you", but what makes me be strong is that I'm sure he feels so much worse than I do because it was me who called to apologize and instead he gave me a treatment I never deserved. I'm sure he thinks I will call again but he's wrong. He won't find an e-mail from me in his inbox either. I miss his sweet e-mails and his "I love you baby" on the phone, but I have to turn all that into a memory, period. My eyes are still swollen from last night and I'm crying here again, I just want this to stop.
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