smickey Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 day nine doing ok. I'm finding that I don't think about him that much really, and when I do I'm just angry at all the broken promises he has made since we broke up. I don't understand the way he's acted and I don't know why he had to make things harder than they already are. seriously...how hard is it to show someone a bit of respect? Anyway, that's his problem. I'm just so grateful that I knew about NC from the start and did it straight away - I thereforeeee haven't had any cringeworthy moments like drunken texts or calls or begging him to come back. The urge to call him and just let loose is overwhelming sometimes but there's no point. Link to comment
Muzatsu Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 I'll try this challenge, though I don't think I'll make it past 2 days lol. Here it goes...Broke up on the 8th of June, but been on a break since the 25th of May. Last time of contact was on our would-be 3rd anniversary, July 2nd. Starting from Independence day (4th) to august 5th, I will take this NC challenge. However, on Saturday I am going with my friends to a once a year anime event, and my ex might be there. I don't want to miss out because of him, so I will ignore him if he is present, or make small talk. I hope for the most part i can stick to it. Today, I didn't attempt to call him. However, while on my myspace profile, I cam accross his pictures and it made me sad. But then I focused on other things Link to comment
CrapAtNC Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 1 Day Completed! Well, as my username suggests, I haven't been very good at the NC thing, but I'm giving it a committed go this time, because, while our relationship has improved immensely, we're still not together, and I think it's because I've been too 'there' for her. So, I've just completed 24 hours of NC. I'll be responding to messages and taking calls from her, but I'll be keeping them brief and upbeat. I'll not initiate contact under any circumstances. I did check her Facebook, but it's pretty empty anyway. I won't do it again. I know it's not how NC is defined on these forums, but it is the recommended way to go about it according to two books I've read on getting an ex back / moving on. When I have gone three days or so in the past, it has brought her running; my goal is to go seven days, and then build from there (a smaller, easier target - I intend to do the full 30 days without contacting her and keeping all responses to a happy minimum). Wish me luck! Link to comment
panchala23 Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 Hey guys, I do not planning on doing NC, but I plan on not being the one to ever initiate contact. We have the same social circle so we will be seeing each other quite a bit, plus I do enjoy her friendship still. What I hope to accomplish is to break teh dependency I have for her, and altogether just make myself a stronger person individually. I don't think I have ever really been able to do that. Is it ok if I join this thread even though I am not doing NC? I gain a lot of emotional strength from reading these. She still calls every day, but is trying to distance herself from that too. Link to comment
CrapAtNC Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 You can join this thread ONLY if you promise not to answer every call, wait a while before responding to messages, and always keep communications short and sweet. Deal? Link to comment
panchala23 Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 Deal. She calls more than once a day. I have noticed she def calls more often when I am less clingy. That whole passion paradox people have been talking about I suppose. I would like her back, but I need to limit contact for my own sanity. I love myself, and this situation is beginning to make me feel some overall negativity about life. Which I definitely do not like! Link to comment
CrapAtNC Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 That's my man! Let her know what it would feel like not be your biggest priority, because that's where it will go eventually if you don't get back together. Make her realise the consequences of her choice. That's all. Start taking time for you, and busy yourself with making your life better instead of being at her beck and call. She'll love you for it. Link to comment
heynowwww Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 day 2 woohoo hahaha. Still have her in my thoughts a lot. I feel pretty angry at the moment. I really hope this anger and vengefulness will pass. Is it normal or am I just insane? The good news is that I have never been so motivated in my life. I will be doing a competition in 3 months and what great motivation this situation has been especially in the gym. Link to comment
kgirl Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 Day 24 and I am missing my old "best friend"... Grrr. Though best friends don't abandon one another--break up with me just to beg for me back just to break up with me AGAIN!!!!!!!!! Need a new best friend!!! Link to comment
ddevil Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 I have another thread going if you're interested in the whole story but how does this look for one last email before I start NC? Link to comment
ddevil Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 I put that last line because she said she needed at least a month and I wanted to indicate that I wanted to start off slowly by specifying a date instead of jumping into a relationship. Link to comment
ddevil Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 Day 1 I sorta broke NC by posting a comment on her facebook because she had her status as 'tired and feeling down'. I posted 'cheer up kiddo trying to show that I'm doing well enough to even help her. From this moment on I'm committed to NC although I don't know how well I'll do at keeping conversation short if she contacts me. I don't know that I'm capable of just not answering every time. In the last couple days I've done something every night with people I haven't seen in years. I have about 5 new phone numbers of friends and just had one of my closer friends ,who I haven't seen in about a year, contact me today. I tried calling him back and I can get a hold of him I'm sure we'll probably hang out today. He wanted to let me know that he finally got a dirtbike so we can go ride together. I had another friend return a call where I was looking to see if anything was going on and he didn't know that we had split up and he invited us both over to swim at which point I had to tell him what was going on. After I told him that the invitation to swim was kinda dropped since I would have just been a third wheel (he's engaged). Link to comment
smickey Posted July 6, 2007 Share Posted July 6, 2007 day 10 double figures! - again... Went out last night with some friends. I'm finding that I'm playing things very safe at the moment and just hanging around people I know when I'm out and that I'm not really ready to meet anyone new. Guess I just need to take things slow. It's been just over 3 months now and I don't want to be with anyone else yet. I've been in contact with another ex who has been helping me as well but that's starting to cause it's own problems so I might have to draw back from that as well. He's one that I never really got over so I'm trying to work through that as well! Great - getting over two guys now! But overall I'm doing really well - much happier than I've been in years and so proud of my hard work. I'll get there but damn it's hard! Link to comment
ddevil Posted July 7, 2007 Share Posted July 7, 2007 Beginning of Day 2 It's only 10am and I already feel like I'm struggling through the day. I haven't yet found something to do but hopefully something will come up. I went running earlier but I normally don't do that on the weekends. It was something to occupy my time for at least a little while. I've been reading Harry Potter and I'm on book 3. It's nice because it does help to pass the time but it's sometimes hard to focus. I want to finish the rest of the books before July 27th when the new one comes out so I guess that's a goal to keep me busy (I actually have two vouchers to pick up the pick at midnight that night, one was for my ex so idk how that's going to go now). She went to see Transformers without me Thursday night and we had been planning on going to see that for months. I'm trying to find some people to go see it with, hopefully tonight. I'm trying to hang out around girls more than guys just because they help me take my mind off of things although I'm not even remotely interested in anyone. I guess what I need are some girl-friends. This forum also helps to pass the time and it's nice to get input and to see that you're not the only one who's struggling through this. I just hope things work out because it wasn't long ago that we were both talking about marriage. Link to comment
heynowwww Posted July 7, 2007 Share Posted July 7, 2007 day 3 and feeling really good. I got 2 numbers at the bar last night but who knows if they were too drunk to remember haha. I should have gone nc so long ago then I wouldnt be in this situation. Link to comment
CrapAtNC Posted July 7, 2007 Share Posted July 7, 2007 48 hours and counting! If we reach 72 hours, it will be a record, so wish me luck! Link to comment
smickey Posted July 7, 2007 Share Posted July 7, 2007 day eleven very tired this weekend - the result of not being very well for a few weeks and being absolutely snowed with work and study I think. But I'm going to use today to try and catch up on some study which should relieve a little bit of stress about that. Not really thinking about him much - he never rang me back after his message last week so I'm just getting on with things. All his talk about wanting to get back together was obviously just that. It's actually not that hard for me to not contact him most of the time, I just have these stupid moments of weakness that I have to watch out for. Link to comment
celebros Posted July 7, 2007 Share Posted July 7, 2007 Days 24 and 25 Still hanging in there. Still weird going to sleep alone, and waking up today was a bit difficult since I didn't have anything planned today. Still haven't talked since the day every thing happened. Link to comment
happy79 Posted July 7, 2007 Share Posted July 7, 2007 Today I made the decision to start no contact. I tried it before but after a week she initiated contact and I agreed to go round. To ensure it works I have asked for no contact. It was hard and I've read many books where you're told not to announce the no contact - but I had to else it doesn't work. She cried for ages in the car and it broke my heart. At the moment I feel numb and like my heart is going to stop beating at any moment. My username is to remind me to focus on me for 31 days and make me happy. My birthday is next week, so that will be weird without her. But I have to be strong. My imagination is the toughest part. I am thinking all sorts - I need to find a solution to stop thinking that she's calling her ex and being offered a shoulder to cry on or a sunnier disposition. Going to need lots of support!! Link to comment
Muzatsu Posted July 8, 2007 Share Posted July 8, 2007 I'll try this challenge, though I don't think I'll make it past 2 days lol. Here it goes...Broke up on the 8th of June, but been on a break since the 25th of May. Last time of contact was on our would-be 3rd anniversary, July 2nd. Starting from Independence day (4th) to august 5th, I will take this NC challenge. However, on Saturday I am going with my friends to a once a year anime event, and my ex might be there. I don't want to miss out because of him, so I will ignore him if he is present, or make small talk. I hope for the most part i can stick to it. Saw my ex today because all of my friends were going to anime convention and he was with his friends. He acted like nothing came between us, and if it was just fine to talk to me like we were automatic friends. Tried to ignore him, but I felt so clingy to him and I wanted to feel him somehow. Brushed against him by "accident" several times. Did not hold hands, hug, or talk about the subject of our relationship at all though. For the most part, I made small talk and joked around like old times. I felt very unhappy, although he did nothing wrong. It was just how absurd it was that when we walked in a group I still kept on walking next to him. I know that I made it seem that way because I walked at the same pace as him. We even got ice cream together, though not really "together" just at the same time. At least I didn't break down into a neurotic outburst or try to make blatant physical contact with him. Link to comment
ddevil Posted July 8, 2007 Share Posted July 8, 2007 End of Day 2 Today would have been our one year anniversary and I couldn't help but send her a text message saying 'We were officially together one year ago today'. It basically just made me feel * * * *ty because she hasn't replied to that or an email I sent two days ago just before starting NC. I'm starting to get very frustrated because I really want things to work out between us. I just feel like she's being very stubborn by not talking to me at all considering we were best friends (I still consider her my best friend and hopefully she feels the same). I just wish I knew how she felt but she doesn't give me a straight answer on whether she wants to try again or not. I managed to stay very busy today. I went riding (dirtbike) with a friend today that I haven't seen in a little over a year. We then went and saw Transformers which was really good but I got distracted a few times because I haven't been to a movie without her in over a year and it's just not the same. One of the hardest parts is going to work. I dread going to work every day now because I can't keep my mind off of her while at work unless I'm talking to someone which I don't get to do much at work. I'm a programmer so I sit at my desk by myself most of the day and it's very easy to let my mind wonder and think about everything. I just feel at such a loss since I'm on the outside and have no idea what she is feeling. I don't know how I'm going to make it through this, especially if things don't work out between us. I was planning on spending the rest of my life with this girl. Link to comment
panchala23 Posted July 8, 2007 Share Posted July 8, 2007 i love my ex but screw em. they dont really care otherwise they would be with us right now! be happy on your own, i really think that is important. Link to comment
FreedomRing Posted July 8, 2007 Share Posted July 8, 2007 2 weeks! Wow.... can't believe it....it IT is getting easier though....keeping myself very busy and occupied with work, schoolwork, girlfriends, and even other male company....kinda missing him still...but missing the old me even more And getting more and more clarity about the relationship(2.5 yrs break up early May) Not sure if I would go back....that's telling! Link to comment
Muzatsu Posted July 8, 2007 Share Posted July 8, 2007 Hurts so much because I know he never loved me and I keep loving him...The thought of it, without being able to call him after having to see him against my will...I can't take it. Link to comment
Recommended Posts